Jumping in at the deep end

I didn’t start dressing until quite late on (after I retired from work, more’s the pity), but over the last six years or so, I have practised what quickly became my favourite hobby, whenever I can.  I have chatted to a number of lovely girls over the years: going out in public as our female selves has often been mentioned, but in my case, never acted upon.

Quite some time ago one of my long-time friends, Angela Crosse, suggested that one day I should drive over to her house, and when I got there, dress and put my makeup on.  Then two of us would go to a shopping complex for some feminine retail therapy.  For one reason or another, I was never able to take her up on the offer, until last Thursday (27th February 2025).

To say that I was nervous and full of trepidation about walking around dressed in women’s clothing in full view of the general public would be an understatement.  Nevertheless, it was something I wanted to try and, having agreed to take Angela up on her offer, I was determined to go through with it.

I set off quite early on Thursday morning and arrived at her house at about 9.40am, after a very straightforward drive (other than hitting congestion in a few places).  But the closer I got, the more on-edge I became, and I started to wonder what on Earth had possessed me to agree to go out in public!  When I arrived, Angela invited me to go upstairs to change and put my makeup on. When we were both ready, we headed off to Rushden Lakes shopping complex in Northamptonshire, arriving at about 11.45.

That’s when the nerves really kicked in.  Angela had been expecting that with it being midweek, it would be fairly quiet, but the car park was almost full – I was horrified!  I had two choices – either go shopping with Angela, or sit in the car on my own for hours.   There was nothing for it, but to take a deep breath and get out of the car.

We walked over to a nearby branch of River Island, which fortunately was fairly quiet, and had a wander around.  I spent the entire first five or ten minutes surreptitiously looking to see if anyone was staring or giving us funny looks, before I settled down, because nobody was.  After that it really was plain sailing and, as unbelievable as it might sound, after a while I almost forgot that I was en femme.  My wedge sandals kept reminding me though – I am not used to walking around in anything other than male footwear for that length of time!

We browsed around a couple of other shops and then went into Frasers, where an assistant came over and asked if she could help.  She couldn’t have been nicer!  She made it very clear that she was pleased to see us.  She realised that we were crossdressers (so obviously we didn’t ‘pass’ as real women – not that either of us are under any illusions on that score). She just wanted to reassure us that we were most welcome to browse around the shop, and to use the changing rooms if we wished.  She said that she had come over to speak to us because quite a few ‘girls’ are too shy to ask for help.  We both felt very reassured by her attitude and demeanour.

We finally went for a bite to eat in the cafe in Marks and Spencers.  It was busy and there were only two or three tables free, but by that time I couldn’t care less who saw me, or who might be staring or commenting – not that anybody was.  More browsing took place after a brief break.  In Boots an assistant spent a good ten minutes talking to us about lipstick and lip liner!

As far as retail therapy is concerned it wasn’t an overly successful trip.  The sum total of my purchases?  A cheap sponge!  At least Angela bought a lovely short dress.  I will just have to go shopping again, won’t I? 🙂

We left Rushden Lakes shortly after 4.00pm, having been there since before midday.  In all that time, I didn’t notice anybody staring or make any comments, although I’m sure that it must have happened – Angela is quite tall, and although I’m only of average height, I’m still taller than most women.

I am just so happy that I have now been out in public, fully dressed and wearing makeup.  I would have no qualms about going shopping en femme again.  I wouldn’t yet go out anywhere near where I live and I am not ready to do so on my own, but I would happily go shopping (or indeed to a pub or a restaurant) with another ‘girl’.

Several of my friends had been telling me that when they go out en femme, members of the public are too busy going about their own business, and either don’t notice them at all, or don’t care.  I never quite believed what they were telling me, but I found out last Thursday that they had been right.  I just wish I hadn’t been so worried about what others might think or say, and started going out in public as Diane long ago!  I don’t know when I will get the chance to go out again, but it won’t be long, that’s for sure 🙂