“Why do women get all the fun fashions and what’s wrong if a guy like me wears them”, I often wonder.
Searching the internet, I’ve found lots of websites targeted towards CD or TS individuals. There seem to be only a few references to guys, like me, who simply like wearing women’s fashions, but have no desire to pass as a woman. This feeling has no explanation, no matter how much I think about it or try to research it.
Simply, I love the way women’s fashions look, and I have this deep, inherent desire to wear those fashions, from heels and flats, to mesh tops and lace tops, to cute party dresses and formal dresses, to exquisite lingerie. I have no interest in makeup or wigs, I really like my guy face and how it challenges people’s thoughts when they see me dressed up in women’s clothing.
It took me a long time to admit that I was actually a crossdresser. I often thought of myself as just a guy who likes to “try on women’s clothes”. At first, the term crossdresser seemed to me as reserved for someone who really wanted to look like a woman. 
With no interest in transitioning, my daily struggle is how to be true to myself while trying to make sure most of my world doesn’t know that I’m a crossdresser.
Advice, comments, questions, email are all welcome. I’m just hoping to hear if any of have had similar experiences and struggles, or know someone like me, “Just a guy wearing women’s fashions.”
I fully appreciate your article . when I first started wearing femme clothing it was ladies versions of men’s styles especially jackets and coats and shirts .
Later I progressed to blouses and side zip pants , and more effeminate ladies sandals . The progression was slow as I wore these items to work and in public . Thank you for your article . Hugs and kisses $
This is a conclusion I’ve been coming to. I do not ever plan on having surgery, and I don’t think anyone would ever mistake me for a woman. But, I like feminine clothes and feminine things. I am trying to grow breasts, but I’ll be a man with breasts and a man in a skirt, hose and heels. Thank you for letting me know that I’m not the only one like me. Hugs.
And hopefully you’ll be a happier man! I hope one day the world will just accept us, and maybe notice us for more than having breasts, wearing a skirt, or our high heels.
Great article to which i related. Its only since late last year and chatting with friends here that i became the crossdresser i wanted to be. Before that i was mostly a guy wearing womens fashion. Happy crossdressing with no transition plans.
X
So much of our challenge is just getting to be who we want to be. That’s great that you got there!
A good article, Lea. As a guy who likes to CD without any urge to transition, reading this makes me feel a bit more normal and not alone.
I am so glad for this site which allows me be talk about it with friends (when I cannot talk about it with my world) . Hugs…
I love this site too, it’s a great outlet from my world when I have no one to talk to about being a CD.
I’m the same way, although I still dislike the term ‘cross dresser’. I wear a bra, panties and support hosiery almost every day, along with women’s jeans. I’ve dissected my urges to death, and I keep coming back to the same conclusion. That is, I’ve tried them and I simply like wearing them. The feel, the colors. It’s not about anything complicated and has nothing to do with gender. Even bras. I’m not flat-chested, I wear a 36B. I want to stop being self-conscious about wearing a bra. I couldn’t care less about wearing women’s pants and briefs, and I… Read more »
I feel the same way…"I keep coming back to the same conclusion"…"I simply like wearing them."
One idea for those bra straps, wear a sheer top with a cami and bra, see if people notice the straps…I like the fun of sheer tops, seen or not seen.
Hi, this is a great article and I suspect there is many more of us who fall into this sector. I for one love wearing my clothes, which just happen to be sold as female clothes. Yes, I go out dressed everyday wearing my bra, with forms 34 D, cami top, female pants and tights or stockings. I also wear female blouses or tops. Do I want to transition ?, definitely not, I’m very happy being a guy, married to a female and have 2 sons, I just wish the LGBT community would accept that we are just guys who… Read more »
Me too, I hope that one day every man has the fredom to dress however and not get ridiculed. I feel so bad for the young guys who struggle with this while trying to survive the bullying and social (media) attacks in schools.
Jen and Lea, you’re sort of raising a much bigger issue, that of shaming and bullying. Most women are in the same boat as we are, even if they’re unaware. Over 35? Can’t wear short-shorts any more. Overweight? Gotta hide those bulges. Over 50? Must be mature, can’t wear sexy lingerie any more. Like to wear white tights? Oh, how 1980! We’re all in this undeclared war against fashionistas and clothing retailers as the self-appointed trendsetters. How many of us, male or female, can compete with those 19 year old fashion models? On the flip side, I do believe that… Read more »
Thank you so very much ! I also have no desire to transition but I have enjoyed the feel of lady’s apparel since I was very young. I adore a summer dress I am beyond comfortable in my denim skirt and camisole working around the house, my heels have become flats but it all is right even down to my Coach bag and wallet. I wear a bra and pants our most days and in no way can I pass, but you answered what I’ve been looking for for 40 years, thank you hugs my dear ♡
Paul, your reply answered what I was looking for too! Nice to hear you reached that level of everyday comfort (and fashionable, I like the Coach bag and wallet!) – I hope to get there sometime, you’ve encouraged me that getting there is possible.
What has been expressed, is exactly how I feel. And how I carry my sexual and gender expression. I love wearing beautiful clothing, both what is considered masculine and feminine. I am born male and enjoy my strength as a man. I am equally loving of my sensitive and more feminine side. I shop for fit and fabric. I wear subtle but enhancing makeup. I wear androgynous jewelry. I wear lingerie every day. My nails are now always painted. Evolving into a happier person is my path and being authentic. It’s been a long and difficult process, but I’m healthier… Read more »
I too notice that the more I evolve and accept who I am, the happier I feel and emotionally healthier. Feels like I suppressed myself for too long, only to end up down a deep, dark, lonely, depressed tunnel. Slowly, steadily accepting my feminine side has helped me climb out of that tunnel.
So glad you’ve found a balance that works for you (and probably has brought out the best of you)!!
I see your feelings as a man in love with women fashio resonating with so many like minded people over here…. I see and recall how I used to feel about women fashion and why I got into cross dressing. The difference is that I started out with Women fashion and clothing, lingerie and heels… No makeup and wigs as you said… I would feel wonderful… But I dare not go out as I would be banished and probably thrown behind the bars and abused. I kept it that way and kept in touch with CDs outside while exploring my… Read more »
Mona, thank you for a very insightful reply, and for sharing your experience and evolution. I really like how your say:
“Our minds play with our hearts and feelings… We stop where one of the two gets better…."
“Excitement and Happiness is not in reaching to the destination but in the pursuit of going on and keep going…. Never to reach the destination"
Thank you for your article. I have been cross dressing for over sixty years. From wearing sisters clothes to later when I was on my own when I didn’t feel any shame in walking into a womans clothes section and selecting and buying clothes. I wear womens panties all the time and when I can I love to wear pantyhose. I am married. she knows but does not condone it. I have been able to let her accept me wearing a nightgown at night. I love the feel and looks of womans clothes and have a secret closet full of… Read more »
That’s so nice that you have a supportive daughter. I still don’t know when and how I’ll tell my kids. From others’ stories, I know it’s not a matter of “if" – kids always seem to notice and figure out stuff (they’re nosy, it’s how they learn).