Rainbow 2

A lot of attention has been focused on the Transgender / Crossdressing world lately.   We are fortunate to have the support of the Gay and Lesbian community as we face the issues of descrimination and misrepresentation of our very nature.  But I know it gets confusing sometimes for everyone, and even on our site, some of the issues I am preparing to face as a transitioning person, do not always apply to our Crossdressing members.   Let’s face it ladies, gentlemen, and non-gender binary, etc, etc, etc….we are the rainbow within the LGBTQ rainbow….and that’s OK.

I recently have read several articles attempting to define or at least point out the wide range of gender and sexuality terms, and how important the correct pronouns can be for avoiding potential offense.  One article suggested wisely that we should perhaps open all introductions with a leading “what pronouns do you prefer?”  And while I appreciate the desire to be more sensitive to our almost individual need for gender or non-gender identification, I also feel like I’m a big enough girl to correct when I feel I need to and forgiving enough as a person to understand that my less than perfect female image can be a source of an occasional gender faux pas.

I also know that even my writing could be a potential source of offense for other members not on the same path or same inclination.  To my Crossdressing friends who have been so very helpful as I take these first steps, I say thank you, however you identify, for being so supportive and understanding when my words don’t mirror your journey, I still consider you to be brothers and sisters or both or neither, but important to my core being nonetheless.

Juyo Vonsan

In any case we embody the last very little understood frontier of tolerance, and are here on this tiny web life raft together to celebrate, or hopefully only occasionally, hang on by the skillfully applied French tipped nails when things get a little rough along the road.  So the very last thing I would ever want to do with my size 11 pumps is use them to kick another looking for acceptance in this already cruel world.

Usually I try to keep my words very light, but I was shocked and disturbed to discover how many transgender people are killed every year just for being themselves. Honestly if we can’t support each other and our own diversity in places like this without recognizing our snowflake like individuality in our life journey what’s the point?

So if I have accidentally pulled your hair or stepped on your feet with my heels, I am sorry and I am happy to be your friend whether or not you struggle with an inner gender identity.   Pull on those designer or thrift store treasures that make you feel better in this world and know that you have friends here.

Maybe we should just call ourselves Skittles, knowing every flavor and color isn’t our favorite but understanding we all have our place in the bag or bowl or hand or other non-container binary entity.

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Vicki T.

46 year old "new born" to transitioning. I'm finally coming out of the box I kept my true-self in for so long, and though it's not always easy, its definitely more the real me every day. I'm looking to make new close friends. I have so much to learn and I can use all the help and support I can get.

Latest posts by Vicki T. (see all)

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3 years ago

Lovely words Vicki. A Confidant stand toward values of transgender people can only be good thing.
Love, Leslie.

skippy1965 Cynthia
Trusted Member
skippy1965 Cynthia (@skippy1965)
3 years ago

Vicki-great article! IT is indeed important that we remain as a support site for the ENTIRE CD/TG/TS spectrum and be respectful of those who occupy a different zip code within the TG community. Codille and her team are actively working to ensure that we have content and support for all. Thank you for your support and goo luck on your journey!

Abbie Simons
Abbie Simons (@abbie)
3 years ago

slowly coming out of my shell, same age and slowly transitioning. hugs to you and continue to follow your own path as we are all pioneers in our own lives. I love this site as it gives so much support to those who would otherwise feel so alone. Fair winds.

Ricki (@ricki)
3 years ago

Hi Vicki Great article it’s good to know there are friends out there who accept others for what they are and not putting a label on for one size that fits all. We are all on a life journey and who knows where it ends but one thing is for sure we can all support each other and that is the most important thing

Jesse Nicole(Smokey)
Jesse Nicole(Smokey) (@jesse316)
3 years ago

There are so many good articles written for this site. This one is very, very good reading. Thank you Vicki for sharing your thoughts. Thanks to all of you gals that write so well. This Hillbilly girl (me) could never put her thoughts together like this! Thanks Vicki again and thanks to all the Authors!!

Terrieann Sexton
Terrieann Sexton (@terrieann)
3 years ago

Thank you for articulating the feelings so many of us have so well. Your post helps codify many of the feelings that surge through so many of us 24/7. I like to think that we are sharing a road with each of us taking a different exit along the way.

April (Pacific Princess)
Active Member
3 years ago

Wow. You really have described a big tent….and I love it! Very heartfelt writing, Vicki; I hope to see more articles by you. I am so late to the game in embracing who I really am – I think I’m CD, but I don’t know where the journey will eventually end. All I know is I feel you are all my sisters, and we are sharing our journeys with each other’s love and support.

Lovely article Vicki.


3 years ago

Greenday said “My shadow’s the only one who walks beside me”, suggesting that only our shadow really knows the path we take. We can walk with others for part of their journey, we can support them when they flag from emotional exhaustion but in the end we must all go our own way. Each of us has an equal right to an individual journey, no matter what that journey is.

Along with that right we also have an obligation to honour the individuality of our fellow travellers. Thank you Vicki for a thought-provoking article.

Darcy Bainsley
Darcy Bainsley (@darcy)
3 years ago

I like it “Skittles” is a good definition.

3 years ago

If you’d like to learn about more of the horrific violence visited on transgenders, even by law enforcement, try “Sex Changes” by Patrick Califia. Very good article, Vicki.

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