Girlfriends eating ice cream

LIFE WITH A CROSSDRESSER

As a young girl I was exposed to the gay community and having been raised to accept people for who or what they were, gender criticism was never condoned in our home. I particularly got on very well with a cousin of mine who was gay and loved him dearly, as I do to this day. From a very young age he showed signs of this in his mannerisms, in his speech and in the way he walked. Crossdressing was never really talked about so I was very naive to it.

A while back, I had met someone who was interested in crossdressing. He raised the topic with me and I agreed to take some pics of him dressed. This I found extremely exciting even though this was completely new to me.

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Then, four years ago I met my current partner. Thoughts of having a new chance at life and doing things differently emerged. Life threw us some challenges which was at best very testing. Being far from each other and numerous hours spent on Skype, thoughts of ideas to keep the relationship exciting came to the fore. One night I suggested he try on a pair of my knickers. He really liked the feel of the material against his skin. Now, when I suggested this I never imagined that this would progress to outside our bedroom. Nevertheless, the person that he is, this could not be contained to just our bedroom. He voiced the fact that if he was going to do this, it had to be done right. We talked about this for quite a while. It was then that I developed doubts of what I had started. I expressed my fears and together we decided that for this to work and for both of us to be happy, certain guidelines had to be in place. We spoke about our kids, extended family & friends. It was decided that we would keep this only between ourselves and have fun with it.

Soon he was wearing my negliges to bed. He loved the feel of satin & lace in particular. Wow, was this kinky! I am fortunate in that he has never done anything that would make me feel uncomfortable and I have promised to always support him and be by his side. We have had encounters shopping for clothing, where he has had fittings in the ladies fitting rooms. We visited a wig shop in the city to purchase him a wig. The sales ladies were very accomodating, making us feel at ease.

Having acquired the basics, she was ready to emerge. Initially we were clumsy but soon with perseverance and determination, she blossomed. Two years later we finally got the look we both were happy with. My darling was a beautiful woman, a classy lady with whom i intended having lots of girly dates. I was comfortable with her. We began talking about taking her outside, she was dying to just get out there even if it was just the two of us.

Our first outing was for a walk at night. I was absolutely all over the place to the extent that I started having tummy cramps. All I wanted was to go back home. She was composed and relaxed all this time. Needless to say the second time round and all the other times were nothing like the first, thankfully. My darling has evolved into a very classy lady. She has acquired a beautiful wardrobe of clothing, underwear, lingerie, outfits, shoes, bathing costumes, makeup, jewellery for every season and occasion. I am extremely proud to take her out and show her off to the world.

To all the spouses or partners of crossdressers out there, the whole experience does not need to be as daunting or scary as you might think. It is very important to talk it through, honesty & openness paramount. Do everything or most things together. Get involved by helping her get the right look. Enjoy the shopping sprees, there are lots of advantages in doing this. I am well aware that all our circumstances are different but sometimes we make things more complicated than they really are. Good luck with your journeys, if you’re having fun then you’re doing it right.

I have the best girlfriend ever who cares & loves me dearly and me her. I’d have it no other way.

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Tanya

I am the partner of a crossdresser. Together we share this journey filled with lots of love, laughter and a sense of accomplishment. Living our lives, growing old gracefully together.

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Stephanie KennedyKendra WoodsAlicia CBreeanah Wrexeleanor holborn Recent comment authors
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Sheryl Johnstone
Ambassador

Thank you Tanya, great to see a post from another perspective. Maxine is a very lucky lady to have you for her wife.

Maxine Doos
Baroness

WOW!!!
Sounds like you’ve got the perfect scenario 😉

Amanda
Lady

Tanya,

Thank you for writing such a wonderful and important article, that I think that any wife or significant other of a crossdresser should read. it is true that different people have different circumstances, but if there are any wives or significant others out there who feel they need support, or someone to communicate with about their partners crossdressing, I would encourage them to visit the Wives and SO part of the CDH site. Maxine is indeed lucky to have you for her wife, and I am proud to call both you, and her,my friends.

JaneS
Guest
Member
JaneS

Thank you for sharing your perspective Tanya. So often we hear stories of wives or partners who don’t accept a crossdressing ‘other half’. Your article lets others wive and SOs know that it’s okay to accept, understand and be part of it all.

Now all you need to do is convince that girl you talked about to take you to a gala ball somewhere so you can both show off your finery.

🙂

Leonara
Ambassador
Active Member

Thank you Tanya for your sharing such a private but rewarding experience. My wife is slowly accepting but is confused by my my alter ego. We seem to grow closer as we work though my feelings together.
Leonara

*skippy1965(Cynthia)
Ambassador
Active Member

Tanya,
what a wonderful story! Where were you (or a similarly inclined sister) when I was getting married? 🙂
LOL -(kidding-I could never deny Maxine the wonders of your charm and beauty!). Congrats to both of you !

Cyn

Holly G
Lady

Tanya, that article really hit home making me wonder if my wife would ever open up more. At least in your case it appears to have been prompted by you, where with mine, it most definitely was not. She at least knows now, but essentially tries to completely deny it and doesn’t want to talk about it at all. Thank you so much for sharing! It’s always wonderful to know it can work out well with couples 🙂

Julie Carson
Guest
Julie Carson

Hi Holly may I ask what happens if. You bring up your feminine side?

My wife knows, even saw lipstick on my white coffee cup last week but never said a word.

Holly G
Lady

Hi Julie,
I just don’t bring it up…ever. It came up once shortly after she found out when I went on a business trip and came back clean shaven. She inquired and I explained why since she knew now thinking nothing of it, but it was far less than well received. After that I have pretty much gone back to my old ways of hiding everything at all costs which is exhausting at times as I’m sure most of the girls on this site would agree.

Julie Carson
Guest
Julie Carson

Hi Holly I think I am going to come out for the second time to my wife and admit I need to express my femininity. THis weekend omg.

Chelsea
Baroness

Tanya
Thank you for such an important and personal article. As a significant other who has only recently started out on this journey, your sensitivity and honesty in showing how C/D can work in a relationship is very heartening to me. Thank you for your support and friendship X

Dot (Donna B)
Lady
Member

Tanya wow! What a great loving story. You both took the time and seem to be so understanding of each other’s needs. Wonderful! Every couple is unique but certainly your story is a nice model path for others to think about. Thank you for sharing.may both you and Maxine live long and happy lives together….

Susie queue
Lady
Member

Tanya, you mean well, but you were not lied to, deceived and finally told the entire truth years into marriage. It is a lot more than a scary or daunting experience for many of us, it is repairing the damage caused by years of dishonesty . It takes years to fix and requires a lot of hard work! We need more women on this site in the same boat I was in several years ago, to really help others like us on this roller coaster journey

eleanor holborn
Ambassador
Member

I agree it takes its toll on trust its not the cross dressing its the lies

Breeanah Wrex
Lady

I was in that boat. When I met Ashley, I was pretty damaged from parents using me as a bone between them my entire life or ignoring me, and an abusive first marriage. I compartmentalized, self-destructed my relationships, anything not to get hurt or feel exposed. Ash convinced me a marriage cant’ function like that, and I had to open up. We had to be open and fully honest with each other. And I did, because I wanted this to work, and believed him that it was working both ways. I really, truly trusted and believed it. And to find… Read more »

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