Many times in my life I’ve had a case of the “I shoulds”. This was never truer than when it came to being transgendered and crossdressing. “I should” have a separate male and female persona. “I should” not wear that, it’s not me. “I should” not talk about that here because it’s not what most of the girls do. It often left me confused.
The problem with the “I shoulds” is they’re what our head says things should be. Where do they come from? These are messages we’ve gotten, or think we’ve gotten, in the past. Or they’re things we learned and have formed our outlook on life. For example, we all know that binary is binary, right? Except it isn’t. There are things called quantum bits (qubits for short) that can be 1s, 0s, or anything and everything in between. So, if that “fact” is wrong, what else isn’t really so?
Sometimes we should listen to our head. It’s probably not a good idea to wear a string bikini to a conservative swimming pool. But that doesn’t mean your heart isn’t saying in its best Little Rascals impression “aw, gee whiz”.
They say your head is wise, but your heart is wiser still. Truth is what your heart knows, not necessarily your head. I can’t tell you why my heart knows some of the things it knows. My head gave up trying to figure it out years ago.
Some of what your heart knows is experience and some of it is innate. I hate hurting people. I’ve done it enough to know how bad it makes me feel. My head says “don’t hurt people, it isn’t nice”. But it figured that out because my heart knew it all along.
Always go with your heart. Its motivations are pure and its knowledge is true. If your heart says to just be one person, or to go ahead and wear that top, or any of the “I shoulds” from the beginning of this article, accept it and go with it. It’s not easy to accept them. It will take some work.
In cases like these you can eventually override your head. Your heart doesn’t like to be overridden. It will nag you until you listen to it. But when you do the confusion will be replaced by quiet calm. Then you’ll know this is truth for you.
- Have you ever done something that felt right even though your head told you to do something else?”
- ”When have you felt bad because you listened to your head instead of doing what your heart told you to do?”
- ”Have you experienced that peace that comes from doing what you knew was right for you? What was that like?”
Girls, please feel free to send in a responset to my article or one or more of the questions I’ve posed to you above!
Thanks for reading my article!
Sincerely, Casey
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- Listening To Your Heart To Overcome The “I Shoulds” - August 26, 2020
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I loved this article! I believe that society begins to indoctrinate us at an early age.
I am still having trouble balancing the yin and the yang.
Thanks, Heather
Casey, Casey, Casey…. Nice article girl, there are also many things that our head has been taught and learned that hopefully permeate the heart, eg., being polite and having respect. There are also times when your heart on its own can definately lead you astray, so joint consultation is usually wise and probably why we were all given the power of choice and reasoning. There are so many examples of head vs heart throughout this part of my life. The biggest for me I think since just after I started, was the visible presentation of me. After doing some reading… Read more »
Another great article, Casey. It’s thinking like this that encourages me and many others here to do more of the things their heart desires.
Thanks again, Sandy
That is so true.