What happened that inspired us to be Cross dressers? Why do we want to be feminine and pretty? Was it an early experience you had in life? Perhaps your role model was women? Or you grew up in a house with sisters?
For me, I was an only boy who was in the house with my mother and three sisters and my dad was always away. I saw their pretty clothes and how they got fixed up and made to look pretty. Boys didn’t do this, I was taught that pretty early in life, if you liked girly things you were a sissy, and there nothing was worse than being a sissy. Only problem was, I did like girly things, I wanted to wear silky panties and pantyhose, and twirl around in a ruffled skirt, I wanted to wear makeup and I wanted to fix my hair in a feminine manner. I was ashamed that I had these feelings and thoughts as It was in the late 60’s and early 70’s before computers and the internet, so I thought I was the only one who had these feelings.
I tried hard to resist, however, I could not. I always swore I would quit dressing up after this one last time only to give in to my temptations and desires again and again. I wanted to be feminine and wear girl’s clothes. Since I was at such a young age, I didn’t fully understand why I wanted to do this.
My first encounter with feminine traits was with a young girl in my neighborhood who painted my fingernails bright red one day, I felt something in me that was hard to explain while she was painting and then blowing on them, as I was only 5yrs old. I knew boys were not supposed to have their fingernails polished, but it was exciting, and then I figured out I couldn’t just wash it off so I had to go home and show my mother and ask her to help me take it off. I also remember the laughter from my sisters as they teased me. That same year when my Mother asked what I wanted to be for Halloween, I said a girl! It was that way for a couple of years afterward as well. I have Halloween pictures of me dressed up as a girl wearing a dress and wig and smiling.
Later on, my sister caught wearing her pantyhose and it was so humiliating, however, it didn’t stop me. It was just like that time I had been caught with nail polish on. Getting caught was somehow exciting to me. I wonder if I had been encouraged, would I have lived a different life? As a young boy, dressing up did not have a sexual component to it because I had not yet hit puberty.
I know others have shared their dressing up with their wives, however, I just cannot do that with my wife. It would hurt her more than it would help me, so I am content stealing private moments when I have the opportunity. As a matter of fact, my joining Crossdresser Heaven is my way of meeting others and accepting and sharing this side of myself with others.
This is my introduction to the world as Vanity and telling others for the first time in my life that I want to be feminine and girly. As I am aging, more of my time and thoughts are consumed by crossdressing and feminine feelings that I couldn’t stop now if I wanted to.
I am so appreciative to Crossdresser Heaven for allowing me and others like me the forum to express who we feel like we are without negative judgment. I admire most of the others on here who have shared this part of their lives with their wives and significant others. They are the brave ones who I admire and I have learned so much from them. Some of them are so feminine and pretty!
I would never be able to pass as a woman and I am alright with that as the majority of cross dressers in the world have that same difficulty. The cross dressers who can totally pass as a girl/lady/woman is such a very small percentage of all cross dressers. I just love the feelings dressing up brings to me and being 100% passable is not important to me.
There is a feeling I get right before it is time to dress up and when the time finally comes, there is a great stress relief that comes over me that is hard to describe. I am always going to have these feelings and desires and today I do not wish them to go away. I love wearing girl’s clothes and it feels right. It has taken me a lifetime to get to this point in my life.
Most of us are at different places along our journey and that will always be the case. My hope is that others will read this and see that it is alright to be exactly where you are right now at this moment and that it is OK to want to crossdress and feel feminine.
So the question was, “Why do we want to be Feminine?” The answer could be because it feels right and brings us joy and pleasure. If you are young and struggling with your desires and feelings, please know that it is alright and there is nothing wrong with you. You are who you are and I encourage you to be comfortable with who you are. Be the girl you want to be and don’t let others tell you otherwise. It is ok to be girly and feminine. I only wished I would have accepted it earlier in life and I would bet many of you feel the same way I do!
- What do you believe the reaction of your wife would be if you decided to come out of your cross dressing closet and admit to her you are a cross dresser and have been for a very long time?
- Would you like to share with me and our readers your very first time you cross dressed and how it made you feel?
- Are you now happy we, as cross dressers, now have a site such as Crossdresser Heaven where we can finally share our thrill of cross dressing with others just like us with continued encouragement and support?
Please feel free to take the time to respond to either my article or to one or more of the questions I’ve posed to you above relating back to my writings in my article!
Thank you so very much,
Sincerely, Vanity
Vanity, you are gorgeous. Your pictures are always beautiful. Just hang in there and be your happy self.
Wow, Vanity, you say you will “never be able to pass as a woman". Just look at that photo of you! You are truly gorgeous and should believe in your beauty. Thank you for sharing your story. Although I only came to be conscious of my feminine side six years ago, when I was 69, everything you say about how it makes you feel to put on girly clothes and make-up resonates completely with me. Go out, be your girly self if you can. I think you’ll be surprised.
I think she is just teasing us because she looks better than some of us and she is beautiful and I would love having her for my gf had I not been a cd also and look for bfs
and yes look at your self and see what a beautiful woman you are. you look so pretty as a woman and very passable one. very sexy legs feminine face figure and with make up and wig and the heels you are fabulous looking
I’ll be dressing since like 3 years old mi sister dress me in order to play with her, I grow with mi sister and mom my dad come over just couple days a week. So I remember see my mom dress that beautiful body shaper and always pantyhose. Heels and dress, I want to be a girl since early age and steal her clothes and transform I was caught when I was about 5 years old but they just laughter at me. I had to keep on secret all my life and do what my gender is supposed to do.… Read more »
Vanity; Your words are inspiring and ask for understanding, support, and revelation. Reveal of our true selves to our families, our spouses and ourselves. These reveals are at great risk and consequence. That must be understood before action. We all here on CDH, wish everyone their best lives possible. Each of us, like our fingerprints are unique, as are our individual complicated lives. What works for one may not for another. As we each " enjoy being us", we will continue to care for our families, our professions and each other. Thanks to the developers of CDH for giving us… Read more »
Hi Vanity. You look amazing. Thanks for your thoughts, I loved reading them. I’ve learned that not only are we all at different stages of our journey, we also have different expectations which can change over time. I ‘came out’ to my wife in July and it changed my perspective on everything. I’m still not sure why or what I want and am still apprehensive about dressing in front of my wife. As she’s said early on, she married a man. Having said that I think she appreciated my honesty and is helping me on my journey. The exhilaration I… Read more »
Just one thing. You look just wonderful. When I see you on the picture it’s no question wheter you can pass as a woman or not. You are absolutely gorgeous.
I totally disagree with your idea that you could ot pass as a woman.There is nothing in your presentation that has anything suggesting that you are not female. Another factor in your favor is that you appear to be smaller than today’s average female.
Vanity, you have expressed the feelings of many of us, and you have deeply touched me through this article. Thanks much, you’re an inspiration to us, to be true to ourselves. Many hugs to you, girlfriend!!
Vanity, thanks for sharing your story with us. Mine is very similar, I too grew up through the 60’s which is when I discovered the joys of borrowing my Mom’s under things. Like you, I thought I was the only one who was like this, and felt the shame and guilt afterwards. But a few weeks later I was always drawn right back into the web. I never did have any sisters or close cousins who played dressup with me, though I was caught a couple of times by my Mom, but she was cool about it. Reading some of… Read more »