Making new friends

I have a new friend. At least I hope she will be. That is the point of this article. Get a few friends to help you through the process, Three months ago, I knew nothing. Today I think I have the answers to a lifetime of questions. I crossdressed pretty near all my life. I have been powerless to stop. As I near the 40th anniversary of my marriage to my first wife, questions returned. Like, what was the reason for our breakup? I returned to the same old thing. I had a bad job, she cheated on me, or because I had failing health. All kinds of excuses, except for the 800 lb gorilla in the room: I could not stop crossdressing. She caught me or I left enough clues that she found out.

Luckily I decided to finally seek treatment by contacting a therapist. It only took her two sessions to discover that I was working against our marriage and crossdressing was the reason. This time I told the truth. I’ve been to therapists a number of times but I always chickened out and said my problems were stress related. Now I embrace Mindfulness, but it was not providing the answers I was looking for. No one in group ever had a similar situation with whom to share.

That’s why sites like this one are so helpful. I learned I was not perverted, I truly can’t control myself, and I like ladies clothes. I want to be a lady and always have. I began praying at seventeen. Today at seventeen many transgendered people are already making the decision to convert while their bodies will be better suited. Not so in the 70’s. There were only a hand full of examples. I was convinced there was nothing that could be done. In the meantime, I just got angrier, my new wife couldn’t tolerate me the way I was, so she asked me to go to therapy. Meanwhile, I continued to dress in secret.

Makeup Magic

She and I eventually had two kids and they filled my need to nurture so crossdressing did not seem so important. Now the kids are grown and successful in their own way. They have become truly great individuals and members of society.

Here is where the friendship comes in. I have been searching for answers and I found someone living in the area who has crossdressed and goes out in public all the time. I feel so self-conscious because of my 6’3″ frame. I can only recall one time in my life where I met a woman that tall. But Chris tried to put me at ease. And it certainly looked like no one was set on harassing her. Maybe I am trying to make mountains out of breast buds? Chris really put me at ease and was really forthcoming with her experience. It was a candid, been there, done that experience and I’ve learned so much.

This was the first time I had encountered a cross dresser woman to woman. I really didn’t know what to expect. But she was perfect. I couldn’t have dreamt for a more kind, generous soul. So here is my advice. Take advantage of the people on line and don’t be afraid to ask questions. Chris has put my mind at ease that I am making the right decision on HRT. She taught me to be comfortable in my own skin, and that is something I’ve been searching for my whole life. Also if you are afraid to come out like me join a social club in your area like the Rainbow Club in my area, or Tri-ess in Vegas. If you have any doubts don’t do it alone.

The picture shows the two baby dolls I got as a small child. Maybe somebody knew something?

 

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DawnOday

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  1. debbie 2 years ago

    truly the best advice Dawn. So silly to think that the desire will ever go away since we were born this way. Living to deal with it is a challenge at times but I know that meeting up with others through social groups is the best answer. We are not alone in this and so important to see how others of us deal with those challenges. Once we make a friend or friends you have the luxury of being your true self and sharing activities out of the house. Gave me the confidence now to be debbie most all the time and conduct my affairs in public. I encourage all the girls to find a group like this

  2. *skippy1965(Cynthia) 3 years ago

    Dawn,
    A lovely article. I too grew up in the 70’s and 80’s thinking I was a freak destined to be alone forever, I researched CD,TS,TV, and TG in the library and got married in my mid 20’s thinking the desires would disappear once I had a “real woman” in my life. Ell obviously we know,as you write, that the desires/needs do NOT ever go away and eventually came to realize that I was not only a CD but also have TG feelings and may need to transition in the future.

    This site has given me the sense of community that was lacking in my life to this point. I am NOT alone and I accept that these feeling are who I truly am-a feminine soul who needs to express herself to the world! I thank God for leading me to this site where I can both receive AND give support to/from others who are in the same position I am.

    Cyn

    Thanks for sharing your story and I wish you luck and happiness in finding your way!

  3. Patty Phose 3 years ago

    I’ve met and socialized with several other cross dressers. I found them all to be very nice and a lot of fun to be around.

  4. Dot (Donna B) 3 years ago

    Dawn what a truly lovely uplifting story. I really like your advice and recently have been looking locally for either a social support group or possibly a church LGBT group. CDH has been a blessing too. Thank you for your nice article.

    Hugs
    Donna

  5. Nicely put Dawn. So glad that you’ve finally found yourself, and that you’ve found a friend. I could really relate to “…be comfortable in my own skin”. I’ve been searching for that my whole life, and am just starting to get there, although it’s still a struggle sometimes.

    In two weeks I’m going into Seattle to meet up with a couple of women like me for the first time ever. I’m hoping to have a similar experience to yours.

    April

    • Dot (Donna B) 3 years ago

      Just wishing you lots of fun in Seattle.
      Have a great time April.

      Hugs

    • Author
      DawnOday 3 years ago

      The more I look into it and the symptoms I present. Late descending testis, micropenis, stroke, Congestive Heart Failure, bad aortic valve the more I am of mind that I am a DES Son. My mother had a history of stillbirths after I was born and there was more than 5 years between my sister and I. We have no way to get moms medical records now so it is all speculation. But everything seems to fit. Timing 1947 to 1971. I was born in 51. I started very early, Kindergarten actually, I played hopscotch, tetherball, jacks, four square with the girls because I related to them By the time I was 18 I was babysitting my sisters kids, I would put them to bed early and go to my sisters room and try on everything. I used to leave my wife and go to a hotel in order to dress. Lately I have been dressing Mon, Tue and Wed at home while she is at work.

    • Author
      DawnOday 3 years ago

      If you care to I also live in the Seattle area if you care to meet. I haven’t quite quelled the fear of going out in public yet. But I am heading that direction. I’ll go anywhere in guy mode.

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