I have a new friend. At least I hope she will be. That is the point of this article. Get a few friends to help you through the process, Three months ago, I knew nothing. Today I think I have the answers to a lifetime of questions. I crossdressed pretty near all my life. I have been powerless to stop. As I near the 40th anniversary of my marriage to my first wife, questions returned. Like, what was the reason for our breakup? I returned to the same old thing. I had a bad job, she cheated on me, or because I had failing health. All kinds of excuses, except for the 800 lb gorilla in the room: I could not stop crossdressing. She caught me or I left enough clues that she found out.
Luckily I decided to finally seek treatment by contacting a therapist. It only took her two sessions to discover that I was working against our marriage and crossdressing was the reason. This time I told the truth. I’ve been to therapists a number of times but I always chickened out and said my problems were stress related. Now I embrace Mindfulness, but it was not providing the answers I was looking for. No one in group ever had a similar situation with whom to share.
That’s why sites like this one are so helpful. I learned I was not perverted, I truly can’t control myself, and I like ladies clothes. I want to be a lady and always have. I began praying at seventeen. Today at seventeen many transgendered people are already making the decision to convert while their bodies will be better suited. Not so in the 70’s. There were only a hand full of examples. I was convinced there was nothing that could be done. In the meantime, I just got angrier, my new wife couldn’t tolerate me the way I was, so she asked me to go to therapy. Meanwhile, I continued to dress in secret.
She and I eventually had two kids and they filled my need to nurture so crossdressing did not seem so important. Now the kids are grown and successful in their own way. They have become truly great individuals and members of society.
Here is where the friendship comes in. I have been searching for answers and I found someone living in the area who has crossdressed and goes out in public all the time. I feel so self-conscious because of my 6’3″ frame. I can only recall one time in my life where I met a woman that tall. But Chris tried to put me at ease. And it certainly looked like no one was set on harassing her. Maybe I am trying to make mountains out of breast buds? Chris really put me at ease and was really forthcoming with her experience. It was a candid, been there, done that experience and I’ve learned so much.
This was the first time I had encountered a cross dresser woman to woman. I really didn’t know what to expect. But she was perfect. I couldn’t have dreamt for a more kind, generous soul. So here is my advice. Take advantage of the people on line and don’t be afraid to ask questions. Chris has put my mind at ease that I am making the right decision on HRT. She taught me to be comfortable in my own skin, and that is something I’ve been searching for my whole life. Also if you are afraid to come out like me join a social club in your area like the Rainbow Club in my area, or Tri-ess in Vegas. If you have any doubts don’t do it alone.
The picture shows the two baby dolls I got as a small child. Maybe somebody knew something?