I’ve been a cross dresser for really as long as I can remember. I’d have between 10-20 items at a time and have purged often, always careful not to get “caught”. I’ve been in a few long-term relationships (2+ years) and an 11-year marriage as well, never letting a single person know about my cross dressing. Anytime I thought maybe I could or couldn’t. Anyway, I made a conscious choice to remain deep in the closet for many years! My “dressing” has been almost obsessive for the last 8-9 months and I started purchasing makeup, clothing, shoes, wigs, and jewelry. I’d been really struggling with telling my wife about my self-proclaimed “perversion” but couldn’t. I was dressing every time I was alone and even started wearing a small amount of eyeliner and mascara daily. More on that later. 😉 I was and still am unsure of what I am. Boy or girl……??????  Life, I feel started to change for me at the beginning of March when I told my current partner of 3.5 years that I was a cross dresser.

I just blurted it out “I’m a cross dresser”! It seems unreal but it was all I could get out. None of the practiced scenarios or carefully timed and planned occasions arrived and if they did, I had let them slip away either unnoticed or unfulfilled. My partners reaction was exactly what I should have expected, she was angry and worried and hurt and felt betrayed. She had a thousand questions all at one time and I answered as honestly and as clearly as I could. It was strange because I felt that with every question, I dug myself a little deeper into a hole I really didn’t want to be in. I could see that each question was asked with equal parts of dread and fear. Each of my answers seemed incomplete. It lasted for what felt like days but in reality, was only about 20-30 minutes. I had no idea, when it was over, if I was still in a relationship or not. She just said that she’d need time to think. I left it at that and after a long night of sleeplessness and worrying that I may have used a “maybe” card when I ought to have used a “maybe not” card. After all, this lady is the love of my life, the one, she’s the only person I have ever felt deeper than flesh. She energizes me by just being. I was making a coffee when she told me she didn’t care what I did she just didn’t want to know about it. I could again hear the fear in her words and they hurt when they should’ve probably been a relief.

Fast-forward 6 weeks and last night we were laying in bed and out of the blue she brought up how badly she felt for the way she had reacted to my announcement. She let me know that she’s been thinking about our life together and the reasons she loved it so much. She said that she’d found things that were odd like a few makeup items and shirt or two that she couldn’t remember buying but liked them and has now claimed them for herself. She assured me I can have them back. She said that she still loves me and that she wants to be supportive. She wants me to just be me. She doesn’t think that how I dress is going to change any of the reasons she is in love with me.

I sit today and wonder about where I will go from here. How far will I allow myself to go? Will I be able to get past my fear of rejection? Will I allow myself to be me, whoever that might be? Will the people I love accept me and does that really matter?  Will others accept me?

I consider myself a very lucky lady right now! I have something today that I wouldn’t have had if I had not taken a chance on me. I have a partner that pledges her support for me through everything. To all the ladies out there, I wish you all the same blessing! And so many more…….

  • When you girls finally got up the guts to have “The Talk” with your wife or significant other, what kind of reaction did you receive from her?
  • Was your wife or SO initially in shock and then later became quite accepting of your cross dressing because of the level of unconditional love she had for you?
  • Right now, what are some of the limitations your wife or SO has placed on your thrill of cross dressing?

Girls, please take the time to answer one or more of the above questions I’ve posed to you. I would love to hear your answers and compare them with the answers I have to those questions right now.

Thank you so very much for taking the time to read my article and I look forward to hearing from you encouraging and supportive CDH girls who are members of this wonderful site!

Sincerely, Rilee

EnFemme

 

 

 

 

More Articles by Rilee Cross

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    Jamie Taal
    Lady
    Active Member
    3 years ago

    Rilee, I was in your heels 4 years ago and finally told my wife of then 20 years. I did not blurt it out like you but I wanted to control the message. My wife knew of my interest in wearing panties prior to marriage. Weird? Sure. But she felt it was fairly harmless as long as the styles were not too trashy. After the first 10 years of marriage I tried to be a little “playful” and try on one of her camisoles to see how she might respond. I was shut down. So I dressed in private. So… Read more »

    Lisa Fox
    Lady
    Active Member
    3 years ago

    Hi Rilee, I told my wife when we were dating very early on, and while that puts my in a different situation, she later confessed she almost ran out the door. That was 37 years ago, before things were more out in the open, before the internet…she was scared I was…well a freak. Similar to the reasons you stated with your wife, my wife saw the good in me and we have nurtured things along over the years. I don’t have many restrictions, but I haven’t taken many chances. That has been all me. I still have issues talking to… Read more »

    Alicia C
    Lady
    Active Member
    3 years ago

    The lock down has been an interesting time. I’m fortunate that my SO knows and seems ok with it. I’ve asked that question once or twice but haven’t pushed for a deep answer because, well, why find trouble ? if anything I think she sees it as a healthy release for me to get dressed openly which has turned out to be once a week now, sat nites when I have a group chat with GF’s I met here on CDH. So far, so good. Can’t wait to be seeing everyone in the RW again.

    Amy Myers
    Baroness
    Noble Member
    3 years ago

    My wife has always known about my fondness for women’s clothes, undies only in those days, and never minded, as it was only a few times a year. This went on for many years, till 2018 when I was drawn to start dressing more often, and more completely. I must say that I had wondered for many years what it would be like to get fully dressed, make up, hair, etc. I even bought a Halloween wig one year to put on for those occasions. But I more or less fought it off till 2018, as I said. At first… Read more »

    Pippi Long
    Member
    Pippi Long
    3 years ago

    Hi Rilee, I completely understand whare you are coming from . I’ve been dressing all my life ,I’ve purged so many times I cant count !I’ve tossed away so many things just to replace them later. When I came out to my ex she was ok with it as long as I stayed in the closet, only to later cheat on me and then leave me for another man . I’m now with a great women whom excerpts me for who I am and how I am . I hope all works out for you and the woman you love… Read more »

    Char
    Duchess
    Trusted Member
    3 years ago
    Reply to  Rilee Cross

    Beauuuutiful yup yup yup

    Natalie Elizabeth
    Duchess
    Trusted Member
    3 years ago

    Rilee – my wife knew before we married and was supportive to a point. Then kids came and it all had to go except it didn’t. I dressed (very limited) when I could and never really established who I was. Fast forward the years and as the kids were older she realized that I was still me and needed to express myself. More of me came out, but not to the kids, and her acceptance grew and she knew that Natalie and I were one in the same. By the time the kids were in college, I was moving to… Read more »

    Natalie Elizabeth
    Duchess
    Trusted Member
    3 years ago
    Reply to  Rilee Cross

    Rilee – I think the more she sees how happy, relaxed, and positive you are while being you, she’ll appreciate how it helps bring out your true self. My job can be extremely stressful. When I am able to be Natalie (I always am, but you know what I mean), it seems to shed away. I have a different air and confidence about myself (as I am sure you do too) that my wife has grown to appreciate. It was a bit scary at first displaying my feminine style and qualities, but it has been a gradual acceptance. Like you… Read more »

    Bettylou Cox
    Member
    Bettylou Cox
    3 years ago

    Hi, Rilee, I was 50 years into my marriage when the Pink Fog hit me (after being suppressed since my teen years). I began by dressing in stealth mode, and when my wife noticed something and asked “Is that a woman’s **** you’re wearing?", I would reply with a “yes", and surprisingly, there were no followup questions. But I don’t believe husbands and wives should keep secrets from each other, so I finally found the courage to have The Talk with her. Again, she surprised me by stating only one restriction: No dresses in her presence. But my asking first,… Read more »

    Char
    Duchess
    Trusted Member
    3 years ago

    Congratulations Rilee, welcome to your amazing life hehehe This has become such an incredible and fun adventure the more I learn to embrace it; I told my current wife before we were married about my desire to dress. I was very unsure where it was going for me then and I was clear about that. Boundaries were set; if you ever start HRT I’m gone…and here we are, a few years later. The shared exploring and seeking to understand, as a team, and supporting one another as each processes their own unique experience, has brought my amazing wife and I… Read more »

    skippy1965 Cynthia
    Ambassador
    Trusted Member
    3 years ago
    Reply to  Char

    Char, ya know for travel that it’s really NOT as big a deal as we make it out to be. I travel by car full Cyn mode and even fly cross country fully Cyn and no one cares! Not TSA, not the airline/airport personnel- they’ve seen it all!(Just be sure to always use your LEGAL ID for any authorities-not fake ones) ( I DO have three credit cards with Cyn’s name on them-as they did not require a SSN for Cyn to be an “authorized user’-not all cards are like that but some are!-and while I don’t hesitate to use… Read more »

    Char
    Duchess
    Trusted Member
    3 years ago

    Awe thank you so much for sharing that Cyn, I’ve made up some pretty scary stories from one nasty border experience. I wasn’t even dressed that day, just cute haha There are a couple rellies south of the border who have invited us to visit, perhaps I can entertain that idea a little more so that when it’s again possible, I may have convinced myself to go to San Fransico haha I find the same all across Canada now too Cyn as far as treatment goes; twice in 4 years now of presenting fem publicly, have I had a gentle… Read more »

    skippy1965 Cynthia
    Ambassador
    Trusted Member
    3 years ago
    Reply to  Char

    if you make it close to VA gimme a ring and we can visit Char! I’m not welcome in Canada anymore since I got a DUI couple years ago.(like Canadians don’t drink lol)
    Cyn

    skippy1965 Cynthia
    Ambassador
    Trusted Member
    3 years ago

    Awww Rilee- these are the stories that bring tears of happiness and joy. I was not so fortunate as my ex found things of Cyn’s and was neither accepting nor even tolerant. She almost left that same day and eventually did leave about 11 years later. The dressing wasn’t the ONLY reason for the split but definitely one of the biggest. Congrats on your good fortune with your partner. I hope things continue to be good as you figure out your continuing journey.
    Cyn

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