Patricia needed to go shopping today. I had some errands to run, so they were done in drab. I am not ready to go out fully dressed. I decided to go as compromised Patricia. I had on my copper wig, ladybug dangly earrings, makeup (mascara, lipstick and powder), and wearing a sweater and jeans. I have also taken to wearing scarves as I have a trach for sleep apnea. Until I can think of a way to make it into jewelry, I will hide it with scarves.

Since it was my birthday, I wanted to go shoe shopping, which my wife said that I could. I’d taken the day off from work, a day all to myself. I had been shoe shopping both in-store and on-line for several days. Torrid specializes in big women’s fashions. Their website states they have 13 W shoes

A couple times, I thought about not doing it, but the thoughts were short lived. I wanted Patricia to experience the world. I liked the look of my makeup. It was only powder, concealer and lipstick, but it did enough to soften my features. With my dangly ladybug earrings and copper, shoulder length wig, I looked femme. Now was the time to take her on the road. If I saw a bunch of people pointing fingers or commenting to the person they were with, I could always duck and run. Mind you, it would take more than one occurrence to make that happen.

I left the house and drove on one of the busiest streets in town. It was an uneventful drive. I arrived at the mall and checked myself out in the car mirrors, still satisfied with my look. The time to present Patricia to the public had arrived. Life is seen from a 1st person view, so I wasn’t aware of my looks. I could see people around me, and I paid attention to their facial expressions. Not one raised eyebrow or had a startled look (not even a second glance my way). My confidence grew, but I hadn’t directly talked to anyone. Even when checking the mall directory, one of the girls ahead of me gave me a bored look and went on talking to her friend.

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Entering the store, I looked around as a sales lady came to help out. I told her the type of shoe I was looking for–wide shoes, size 13 with a 2-3-inch block heel. Most of the season’s shoes were boots. She pointed me to the closeouts where we found a pair of 13W flats. I sat on a bench by the dressing rooms. There were other ladies in the area, but no one paid any more attention to me than they would to a woman trying on shoes. Being skeptical, I tried them on and they FIT. First time, like a glove, they FIT!! I have my first pair of flats. Since it was a clearance item, I was able to pick a second item for free. I finally decided on a purse. When I checked out, I set up an account in Patricia’s name using her email address. The three sales ladies that helped me chatted and joked; I felt accepted. I left the store, sat on a bench, and changed out my shoes. My exercise shoes felt like giant pillows compared to the thin sole flats.

There is a new ramen restaurant in town so I headed there for a late lunch. I figured this would be a better test for Patricia blending in as the Torrid staff may have just been CD friendly. I chose a seat at the bar by the register. My waitress introduced herself as Britany. I asked what she liked in ramen and ordered that. As I was eating, one of the other waitresses came up and, out of the blue, said, “Your hair is cute. I like the color.” She dropped something off and left. She said it as if she were talking to any other girl. I chatted with Britany about seeing ramen in anime, especially Naruto. We talked about that and other things we had in common. I’ve never had such an open conversation with a girl as I did today.

I learned something important. When you are dressed, and don’t have a bank account in her name, pay in cash. Torrid took my card as a chipped debit card and there was nothing I might have to explain. Here my card was processed with the receipt to sign. I did not feel like trying to explain the name discrepancy so I signed and quickly left before there were any questions.

I beat my wife home and waited for her to get off work in my outfit from shopping. Since it was my birthday, it was time to go for my dinner. She was less than comfortable with me changing into my favorite skirt and blouse, but she did go with me dressed. The first restaurant was totally packed so we went to an Italian restaurant. An older man did smile at me before we left.

At the Italian restaurant, I didn’t notice anyone giving me a second look, but my wife said there had been a guy sitting across from us looking at me for a long time. I don’t know if he was trying to figure me out or just liked what he saw. The waiter was cordial and asked if it was separate checks. My wife made a minor slip in telling the waiter that “It’s his birthday.” She caught herself, and I think it was overlooked by the waiter. Then again, in this day and age, with two women sitting there, maybe he thought I had the male role in our relationship.

It was a great birthday for Patricia to come out and for my male self to add another birthday to the other 63. I hadn’t realized that it was also National Coming Out Day!!

EnFemme

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Mikki
Lady
Active Member
4 years ago

Happy birthday young lady. Mine is Tuesday. You may have opened a door for me. I was quite inspired by your day. Mite take a bit me a bit more to dare to take such a leap, but good for you! I am happy you had such a releasing day. Hugs, Mikki

Krista
Duchess
Active Member
4 years ago

Great Story Patricia. I really enjoyed reading it. And yes, a belated Happy Birthday to You. I don’t know why you say you were dressed as a “compromised Patricia". Your outfit is one that is worn daily by most women (especially in my city in northern Canada where we have almost 6 months of cold/snow). I can count the number of times my wife wears a dress or skirt in a year on one hand. And congratulations for your shopping trip and dinner out. You are very lucky that you have a supportive spouse. My wife knows I am a… Read more »

Melissa Sue
Lady
Active Member
4 years ago

Sometimes less is more. Love the look.

Gianna Bonita
Member
Gianna Bonita
4 years ago

Good on you Patricia! Gianna

Hope Clark
Lady
Member
4 years ago

Wonderful for you, Patricia! It sounds like a lovely, empowering day! So much courage and enjoyment.

April (Pacific Princess)
Ambassador
Active Member

Good to see that you are getting out and about Patricia. I know my life has been so much better since I have come out to family and some friends.

Leonara
Ambassador
Trusted Member
4 years ago

Hi Patricia,
Thank you for your experience in your shopping enfemme.
It gives me inspiration to venture out as my true self.
I wish you a belated birthday.
Again thank you for sharing…
Leonara

Mary Summers
Lady
Active Member
4 years ago

Happy birthday Patricia! It’s a beautiful way to spend your birthday and including your wife for dinner. You look marvelous and the guy staring at you is of little consequence. Will you ever see him again? No. I doubt he ever figured you out.
I go through TSA and airport ticketing and get outed all the time. If I rent a car, the same thing. Rarely does anyone say anything negative. The last time I rented a car the lady at the car rental complimented my hair/wig. And I love being called mamme. So, just enjoy your times out!

skippy1965 Cynthia
Ambassador
Trusted Member
4 years ago

Patricia,
thanks for sharing your story and belated happy birthday. It is SO true that confidence and a smile will carry you through most experiences. And yes the GG “uniform" nowadays is leggings or skinny jeans with a long tunic top/dress paired with ankle booties or knee high boots. And you can be just as feminine in that as you cn with a ball gown. Whatever YOU like is what’s important!
Cyn

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