My boyfriend is a crossdresser

You’re likely feeling a bit shocked – after all, this is unlikely to be something you expected when you entered the relationship. Your boyfriend was probably wracked with fear when you first found out, and it’s likely he didn’t tell you himself because he feared that you wouldn’t accept his crossdressing. He may be both nervous and eager to share more details with you. Don’t let him go faster than you feel comfortable with. After all, he has been dealing with this for years and you only just found out.

You shouldn’t fear that you’re in this alone – It is surprisingly common for men to crossdress, at least occasionally. Some estimates say that roughly 5% of men are transgendered. There are many organizations that help wives and girlfriends, we have a program on Crossdresser Heaven exclusively for significant others where you can find resources, support and encouragement.

You may feel many emotions, and may even surprise yourself by having fun together when he’s crossdressing. If that’s the case, go with it! Don’t feel like you need to conform to an outdated set of societal norms!

A great resource is a book written by Peggy Rudd called ‘My Husband Wears My Clothes‘. I’ve included a link below. This book was written by a woman whose husband is a crossdresser. Peggy provides insight, comfort and support for any woman who finds out that her beloved is a crosdresser.

Hugs

Vanessa

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Elaine
Elaine
13 years ago

Dear Vanessa, I am a male and cross dressing secretly without anyone knowledge. I have a girlfriend and I am having difficulties in life thinking whether I should forced myself to stop this for the sake of my relationship. I had gave some indication to my girlfriend about my crossdressing interest but she hated the idea and not willing to accept it. I really wanted to continue my relationship but it is so difficult trying not to think about crossdressing. So far, 1 week is the longest I can stay away from my bras and panties… Please advice.. I need… Read more »

Ashley
Ashley
13 years ago

Dear Elaine, I know I am not Vanessa and cannot give exactly the same advice as she would. However I do believe that if you are truly trying to conserve this relationship of yours you need to find some time to have a serious discussion about it. She may not go for it right off the bat and that has to be expected(we’re not exactly the majority here are we?). I am of the opinion that if you plan on taking a relationship anywhere that goes farther than a couple of dates you need to tell her. This is a… Read more »

Cissy Smith
1 year ago
Reply to  Vanessa Law

And, the reason that you’re suggesting that she not change to conform to a relationship goal is that is almost impossible to stop, right? It is exremely difficult if not nearly impossible to stop dressing in whatever degree one is dressing. And, the other question is why would you want to stop? it hurts no one, for one thing.

robin
robin
13 years ago

is it really true that by taking birthtaking pills one would grow breasts and turn looking a bit feminine style

Randy
Randy
13 years ago

I would like to find another crossdresser in New Phila,Dover that I can talk too one on one. I told a lady of mine she was Ok as long as I didn’t borrow her stuff. Right now we no longer see each other so I have know one. My two X’s didn’t know a thing about me cross dressing #2 and I were married 24yrs.she never knew. It was hard on me not telling afew tines it came up for another person she stated if every she say me like that her and my kids were going. When I was… Read more »

Amely
Amely
13 years ago

I even dont know what to do:(I can’t accept that the man next to me is a crossdresser,I want to be a wife of a normal man.I found out two weeks ago that my lovely hubby is into men!!!What do I have to do???He tells me that he loves me,but i really think that he is more into my beauty and clothes.I feel so bad,cause i really loved him…….

sam
sam
12 years ago
Reply to  Amely

I just found out a VDay that my boyfriend is a crossdresser and I don't know what to do because I really do love him. I feel your pain and I understand what you mean about him being more into your beauty and clother than you.

David Long
David Long
12 years ago
Reply to  sam

Don't know quite how to start this letter to you all.But I'll give It a shot ok?Well my Crossdressing started way back when I was around 6 or 7 year's old or so..My best rememberence was the first time I seen my Mother putting on her Pantyhose and Girdle & Bra.She worked In a nursing home.She wore those long white doctor like dress I believe.I just didn't know how to react to seeing my Mother dressing.I wasn't quite In school yet,This was on a week end I think?Well any way,when mom left for work,my Aunt's were living with us.They baby… Read more »

camie
camie
12 years ago
Reply to  Amely

he mustt be bi but if he says that he wants to be with u then ur the one he wants to be with.he decided to marry u and not someone else.

babs
babs
13 years ago

im in the same boat my boyfriend is a cross dresser i found out myself when i confronted him he told me everything he says he is straight and loves me can this be?? he sais he wants a future with me as man and wife is this possible in this situation??

Erin
Erin
12 years ago

Thank you, I needed that advice as well. My boyfriend told me that a while back and I was cool with it then, helping him buy clothes and things. I grew up in a town where you would see crossdressers all the time so I thought I was cool with it. Then he went to a dragshow while I was out of town and once I was home I was greeted with pics on facebook that made me feel uncomfortable, but I hurt him by telling him that. So I told him I would get over it, and now am… Read more »

Ragina
Ragina
12 years ago
Reply to  Erin

Erin, good for you hon. Education on this subject is an absolute must. Please learn all you can. That way, you will be able to make informed, rational decisions about where and how far you both want to go with his/her crossdressing. If you notice, there is a listing of books on this site. Look them over and choose the ones that most closly fit your situation and read them. Most of all, love your crossdresser and be supportive of her as far as you can. Compromise is the key here for both of you. Talk about what each of… Read more »

Cissy Smith
1 year ago
Reply to  Erin

Erin,
May I ask what it was that cause the hurt for you? The fact that he was sneaking around or going to the drag show or both? It seems to me that the honesty situation is one of the concerns that women usually have to some degree or another. They say, if you’re not honest about this, what else are you being dishonest about? It can be unsettling to most women. And, sometimes they do have valid concerns about that.

sam
sam
12 years ago

I just found out my BF is a crossdresser and I am supportive, but I somehow feel like he is more attracted to what I wear and not me.. I am trying to be open minded about this, but it makes me feel like I am not enough. __We have been together almost a year and our sex life is pathetic… I am just scared if it's like this now, what it is going to be like in the future if we get married.__Is this normal?__I'm afraid a skirt turns him on more that me..__Any advise?__

puja
puja
12 years ago

i am cross dreser male with marry

Anita
Anita
12 years ago

I am 28 year cd. Since childhood i wanted to look like female and secretly wearing my sisters clothes. Now i wear bhabhi’s saree jwellary and make up with inner garment. Sometime i go out wearing bra under my clothes. I like feeling of bra. I wish to have my nose and ear pierced. Saree is my favourate gown.

shygirluk
shygirluk
12 years ago
Reply to  Anita

Hello everyone I just found this site and decided to look into it. My fiance is a cross dresser. Its been 2 years now since he told me. He told me he first knew when he watched his mum put on high heels when he was little and then tried them on for himself. Now every night he has to wear a pair of heels. It is weird for me because I do want just a normal man but i have to accept it if i want to stay with him. We have a shoe cupboard and he has his… Read more »

Cissy Smith
1 year ago
Reply to  shygirluk

hello Shygirluk

first, when you say “normal” man, you are referring to what? 🙂 you say it ‘gets to you”. what about it causes the concern or consternation? the fact that he likes women’s clothes? How do those make YOU feel? they’re pretty sexy, right? Can’t a guy enjoy that same sensation?

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