On November 28, I joined Crossdresser Heaven. I had been crossdressing for a long time, but had never embraced it fully
I really didn’t know that much about CDH when I joined, but I immediately came to understand what it was all about. Just the thought of even revealing myself to anyone was terrifying to me. So right after I registered, I received my first private message. I thought to myself, a private message, this can’t be good. So I opened it, not sure what to expect. It was a very welcoming message from a member here who was wondering where in the state I lived. I hadn’t revealed that in my profile, since I wasn’t comfortable with anyone finding out where I actually lived. But upon finding out that I was close, she invited me to a Christmas party. In my mind, I thought how I had always dreamed of doing something like that, but of course there was great apprehension on my part since I wasn’t at all comfortable with my presentation to be able to go out. So, I declined the invitation, but got a friend request so I could learn about future events. I thought to myself that I had accomplished 2 firsts, one that I had just revealed to a complete stranger that I was a crossdresser, and accepted my first friend request.
So, I was contemplating where all of this was heading, and thinking to myself, “what am I doing here, there could be all kinds of different people here to out me”. But then the next day, I received posts to my introduction from fellow girls here that welcomed me, and let me know how it was a friendly, open and non- intimidating place to be. So I was convinced by them to stick around and see what this was all about.
The next big thing for me was thinking about posting a picture. I had been looking at all the gorgeous pictures that everyone posted in the photos section, and was very impressed with everyone’s presentation. But being self-critical of my female look, I had a really hard time picking out a photo. Then after I finally found one that I liked I posted my first public photo. Within minutes, I was so afraid of this photo being downloaded and shared on the internet, that I immediately deleted it.
From here, I started to read and post some responses on discussion forums, and was excited to participate. All along the way, with the forums, I received encouraging posts from members here, and slowly realized that there was nothing to be concerned about. So I decided that I could upgrade my membership and at least post a picture in the private photos section. It was difficult to choose a photo, since I really didn’t like any of them, so the one that I picked was one where I changed my wig to a longer style through Faceapp.
By posting in the private photo section, I didn’t have to worry about the exposure to the entire world on the internet. Then, as I posted some more on the forums, I received a few messages about the photo that were very encouraging. Some said that it actually looked really good. Some even wrote comments on the photos about the picture, and I was beginning to think that maybe I could stick around on CDH and with a lot of work, get my look down so I at least would satisfy my own critical self and feel good about posting more pictures.
I didn’t have any more opportunities to dress during the holidays, but I couldn’t wait to get to try my next presentation. I really liked the hair that Faceapp had put on me, so I searched for a new wig that might fit the bill. But by then I had read that using photo manipulation wasn’t really fair if you wanted to present an accurate picture of who you were. So I replaced the manipulated photo with the original. Surprise, surprise, I got the same type of comments about that photo without the long hair. So I was even more encouraged to try to perfect my presentation.
Then my search for the hair that I wanted seemed to be over, and I had ordered a new wig to match what I thought would be a good look for me. I was excited when it arrived, and couldn’t wait to try it on. So I opened it up, and put it on. When I looked in the mirror, I thought I was seeing Wayne from Wayne’s world, and was ready to send it back. But I remembered that several people had complimented me on a picture of a new dress with the old hair. So I decided to at least get dressed and see what the wig looked like with that dress. The next time I looked in the mirror, I was a little more encouraged. I decided that I’d try a little makeup to see what it was really like. Then to my surprise, I really began to like the new wig. Wayne from Wayne’s world was gone and replaced by a decent looking woman. So off for a few more pictures. I liked a few, but wasn’t that happy with makeup, since I hadn’t taken the time to do it properly. But the pictures were good enough to post. I actually got a few positive comments from friends that they liked the look.
Then last weekend, a new dress arrived and I was excited to give it my best effort. I took my time on makeup and thought that it looked pretty good. So I proceeded to take some more pictures. I saved the best ones, and then realized that there was one that I really loved. I could see nothing in that picture except a woman, and plucked up the courage to post it publicly (my first). I decided that even in a public photo, no one would ever suspect that person to be me. Then I decided that I liked it so much that I sent it for consideration for featured photo. The next day, I was shocked to have been chosen. Me, the brand new know nothing newbie, being selected for featured photo on crossdresser heaven. You can’t imagine how excited I was. But my excitement didn’t stop there. There were a bunch of positive comments posted on the photo, which made me even happier. After all, I hadn’t been at this very long, and wasn’t very sure of myself and my new efforts to crossdress.
Later I received an even more encouraging private message from a friend here that had let me know how much I had influenced her through our communications here. I never thought that it could happen to me that I could have a friend who I could help to crossdress. What a treat for me.
To say the least, it was a very good day for me to have affirmation from members that I could look good enough to actually look like a real woman. I’m so happy about it.
I just wanted to write this article to thank everyone here that has responded to my posts and provided words of encouragement to me in my journey with this wherever it leads. I no longer feel alone in crossdressing, and am very thankful to be a part of this sisterhood. I am looking forward to posting more, and hopefully even better photos in the future. Thank you all you have been incredibly supportive.
My CDH Story So Far
Happy Surprises!
Kathryn Lynn Peters Crossdressing Just for Fun 21Happy surprises can come at the strangest and at unexpected times. I am a closeted CDer and 70 years old. Opportunities to dress have been limited over this long life of mine. I lost my first marriage when my ex- found my stash (bra, panties, and heels.) This led to a long and pa...
My First Time in Public
Rachel Ousten Crossdressing Just for Fun 31Ok, so I have dabbled in dressing out in public, but only driving the car wearing lady’s clothes and never getting out. I’ve been lucky enough in the last year to do a few long distance journeys on my own. A couple of the trips were from one end of the country to the ...
The Increasing desire to Dress with the Mature CD
Trish White Crossdressing Just for Fun 181Hi Girls, I haven’t been a member here for that long. While cruising the CDH site and reading various posts, I’m have noticed what appears to be a common theme among a lot of the “mature” girls. This theme is that many mature crossdressers, like myself, have an increa...
How to discreetly leave the House to venture out in Public
Meghan Brandice Crossdressing Just for Fun 28Many of us braver ones and more experienced passing CDs wishing to have a day out often wonder, “How do I sneak out of the house without the neighbors or other people nearby who are neighborhood watchers detecting me?” Well, after years of experience (65 to be exact) ...
We Looked Alike!
Falecia McGuire Crossdressing Just for Fun 13We Looked Alike! Hi Girls! I love to keep a journal and I especially like writing about my cross dressing propensities and my alternate desire to dress in an androgynous way whenever possible. Androgynous, for those of you who are not familiar with the term, is an adjectiv...
My Best Dress-up Day Ever
Diana Stockton Crossdressing Just for Fun 19While I have shopped quite a few times before in drag I always tried to hide and walk away from others. This time I was determined to just be like everyone else.
When You Find Out You’re Not A Woman
Vanessa Law Crossdressing Just for Fun 10Sometimes it’s hard not to become distraught when the reality of your masculine prison presses upon you. For some of us this realization occurs at a young age, as you can see in the video below. P.S. Kudos to dad for posting this to youtube. I imagine that’s one of th...
Finding Cassie part 1
Cassie Jayson Crossdressing Just for Fun 11Hi girls! I have been a member here for almost 2 years now. My femme name was the one I picked out 40 years ago when I was into CD for a couple of years, Cassandra Joyce Jayson. I figured I would go by Sandy here on CDH for 2 reasons. First Sandy rhymes with my drab name ...
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Jennifer you are never alone. You have sisters everywhere. Love your look and confidence.
Susan
Thank you, Susan for your encouragement, it is really appreciated
Thank you Jennifer for your comments, it just goes to show what a wonderful home we share with all our sisters and friends here, with no judgement and respect towards everyone.
Sherri
Sherri, I couldn’t agree more with your comments, thank you for posting.
Awesome article Jennifer your a movie star in the making. I loved reading your article thank you for sharing and for being a wonderful and amazing member here at CDH and a good friend to so many. I appreciate you and value you being here.
Hugs April
April, you are too kind to me to write such a nice message, but I really am happy with the friends I have made here at CDH. Thanks for being my good friend.
Jenn this is a great article thanks for sharing it. I have been here for two years and my experience has been much the same. Nothing but positivity
Thank you Melanie, I am looking forward to having your perspective in two years after I have been here too, it’s very encouraging.
Thanks for sharing your story with us Jennifer, I’ve been on this site two times and the girls are fabulous they give each other so much encouragement you cannot help but feel the love on here, I’ve seen your pictures and i must say all i see is a beautiful woman, i wish i looked as good as you,
Hugs Rozalyn X
What an incredibly nice compliment, thank you Rosalyn. And yes, you are right, the girls here are fabulous.
Your welcome Jennifer X
Hi Jennifer; I loved your story, I’ve been here less then a month and have many of the same concerns that you mentioned. I’m still working on my look so I can share some photos. Thank you so much for the article. Hugs Annabeth
Thanks Annabeth for your kind words. I wanted to write this article so that everyone could feel the same way I do now here on CDH, I’m hoping I have inspired you.
Jennifer, from the comments from the other lovely ladies you have friends who offer friendship and support..as I mentioned before your “fashion show” your choice of outfits are so complimentary of your beautiful self…your “CDH story so far” is very touching and I and sisters here are so glad you found this wonderful website…
Leonard, I am so happy to have your kind comment and compliments they mean a lot to me.thank you.
Jennifer, As you are finding out, CDH is indeed a great place, full of friendly, helpful ladies. It has been interesting to watch your progress from “nervous newbie" to an increasingly confident lady. Keep in mind that this process is more of a marathon than a sprint. All of the more experienced ladies here have gone through a long trial & error process with makeup, clothing and deportment to get where they are today. So go slowly, learn and practice at a pace you are comfortable with and I guarantee your comfort level and confidence will grow in the coming… Read more »
Thank you, Jennifer, for your sage advice. I certainly plan to follow it, and am looking forward to the future here with all my advisors/friends.
Thank You Jennifer, You Look Fantastic, Both Pics! & Happy!! This place is A Wonderous Group of Loving, Caring Ladies who Make you’re confidence Grow & Grow and as Susan said. :You are Never alone"!! Jill
Thank you for complimenting my look, sometimes you get lucky with them photos. I agree with your analysis of the ladies here helping me to grow, which is something that I am very thankful for.
Hi Jennifer. I’m finally making the plunge to become what I always knew since a child. I’m a woman and now I’m going to step out to explore and experience that woman inside me but I need assistance, guidence and friendship dear. Can u and others guide me to bring out the femine side of me please
You will find help for anything that you need on CDH. Just post on the forum, and you can get an answer to almost anything.
Thank you Jennifer. I am looking forward to slowly to get to know you and these wonderful ladies as time goes by.