“Crossdressing just for fun” isn’t really the case for me. I enjoy dressing and socializing and being accepted as a female. Like many other sisters, I am now in solitary confinement due to the Corona virus and can only enjoy dressing at home. I love going out when dressed to restaurants, shopping, which now is done on the internet, and then as something to look forward to when visiting the postbox!

This has been the time to try new makeup, hairstyles, and enjoy as much as possible in this strange situation we all are in. It is also an opportunity to reflect on the past; how and why I started dressing in women’s clothes. Even still today, I do not know what came over me by going through my mother’s underwear drawer during my mid teens, let alone trying them on. It gave me a strange feeling, which is unexplainable and made me repeat the experience for several years, always hoping never to be caught.

Luckily enough, I didn’t get caught and when I married the “urge” and pleasure of dressing disappeared, only to reappear when I was made redundant at the end of my thirties. It began again with my wife’s underwear and clothes, using water balloons to fill her bra! Dressing at that time made me forget my unemployment problem; it brought back the pleasure of dressing again.

Then I went through a very long period with no dressing until my early 50’s. After a medical problem, and in despair, I started to dress again. At first, like last time, with my wife’s clothes. Soon, I started to buy on mail order as the internet did not exist at that time. Only after dressing for nearly 15 years in the closet was I “discovered” by my first wife. She took it badly and suggested counseling for me. She was of the opinion that I had a “screw loose,” yet we stayed married until she passed away.

I’m sure she knew that I still dressed discretely when I went away on business trips, but she didn’t say anything other than the one time when she cut my new transparent blouse I had mail ordered into pieces and threw it in the dustbin! Today, my second wife knows, and she has seen almost all my wardrobe. She hasn’t said anything so I continue to dress when she is away visiting her family a few times a year. There have only been a few comments. When we were out buying clothes and underwear for her, she told me that I know her sizes and have very good taste!

I have a female wardrobe almost bigger than my male wardrobe, and a makeup bag the size of a small suitcase. I have enough confidence to go out and enjoy life as a woman. I shop (and of course try items on in the ladies fitting room), wine and dine out, go to the theater, travel—although I have no intention to pursue a sex change. How long will my pleasure and enjoyment of dressing last? I’ve now passed 75 years!  It is also good to have a site for us “girls” like Crossdresser Heaven to keep in contact, especially during this difficult period of confinement.

More Articles by Helene Bock

    View all articles by Helene Bock
    The following two tabs change content below.

    Helene Bock

    Must admit that my first crossdressing was more of a "sensual" caracter and also with no makeup done - all ofcourse in the closet! I had three "periods" in my life when I crossdressed, one late teens - another "midlife" when I lost my work. Today, being "Helene" is like something changes within me, not only the pleasure of looking at my female apparence but also being accepted as such. Nothing better than watching "me" slowly change to a female with my female shapes and finally when doing my makeup I feel great! It relaxes me and fill me with joy. Have dressed and gone out in public since 2007, driving, shopping, checking at hotels (although this seems to create some confusion when I book in my male name or have booked a room for 2 when they ask when "Mr" will come!!). Nothing better than going to a nice restaurant and treated like a lady. Like dressing the classic style, although wearing nice underwear is a sheer pleasure. When I have put on my underwear and dressed up,think I am nicely "done" with my makeup - I sometimes ask myself what a pitty to have to change back to "male mode". Today I do no longer dress so often as now prefer to have time to stay "female" for several days and usually go away for overnight in a hotel.

    Latest posts by Helene Bock (see all)

    0 0 votes
    Article Rating
    Notify of
    Inline Feedbacks
    View all comments
    Active Member
    1 year ago

    Thank you for a very informative article…I (at 72) have been a closeted CD for over CD… My new year resolution for 2020 was to step out with other CD’s …However, this lockdown from the health crisis has postponed Leonara meeting the world…I agree with you that CDH is a wonderful site … I am so glad that I am a member primarily
    meeting lovely ladies like you and read articles like yours.
    Your article is also an inspiration for ladies 70+ ..
    Be well & stay safe…..Leonara

    Beverly Ledoux
    1 year ago

    At 73 and considered “handsome”. I have hunted for a plastic surgeon to do a full face lift (rhytidectomy). I hav interviewed at least ten over the years and found one in Beverly Hills who will do the job for around $30k; he writes articles for training plastic surgeons at UCLA. Anohter surgeon nearby will do the same job for $11K. Although it hurts to spend this amount, gambling with my face is scary; my Beverly Hills guys is Board Certified by the American Board of Plastic Surgeons, while the other is an otolarygologist (ent man) certified by the American… Read more »

    Peggy Ann Culpepper
    1 year ago

    So glad to hear and read about someone that is almost my age.Just passed 80 April 1(NO JOKE) Been a wanna be girl for over 75 of those Years that i can remember. I was teased by my Mothers Younger sisters that weren’t much older than i because i wopuld cry because i couldn’t wear their clothes( they would secretely dress me in their underclothes) Boys did’nt want to wear girls clothes back in the early 40’s, especially in the deep South. I only got to dress in my mothers underware when MY folks includimg brothers,no sisters were all gone… Read more »

    Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
    Subscribe To Our Newsletter

    Subscribe To Our Newsletter

    Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from Crossdresser Heaven.

    You have Successfully Subscribed!

    Log in with your credentials


    Forgot your details?

    Create Account