A Hodgepodge submission
Since my crossdressing began anew, after a very long dormant period, I have purchased at least six bras only to donate them all to Goodwill because they were uncomfortable or just didn’t fit. This has been a big frustration for me, as I imagine it is for many of us. The rest of my wardrobe has steadily grown these past few months. I’ve progressed from just shopping online to using the self-checkout line at Walmart. I’m also shopping in the women’s section of my local stores; even using the fitting rooms to check out my purchases before taking them home.
And as my wife has adjusted (more or less) to the fact that her husband is a crossdresser, we have gone out shopping together. We recently bought matching tops and panty sets. I’ve also embraced this aspect of my life, and with the support and advice of CDH and its members, I’ve become bolder.
But boldness has its limits. Many others have asked for advice about bra issues, and the advice given has almost always been the same: Get a professional bra fitting. Dillard’s has been the most-recommended site for this. The thought of wearing drab, walking up to an unknown saleslady, and announcing that I’m a crossdresser who needs help with a bra fitting was ….intimidating. Nevertheless, I finally decided that a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.
A chore for my wife sent me downtown and very near to a Dillard’s store. I completed my chore, and then headed to Dillard’s and up the escalator to the lingerie department. I located a saleslady and made my request, in a soft and somewhat raspy voice (it was a very hot day, and my mouth was very dry). She was totally professional, helpful and friendly. I was escorted into a private booth, measured and found to be a 36 A, as I thought I was. Having no idea what style I wanted, other than unpadded and comfortable, I was given two bras to try on. The first failed the comfort test, but the second – actually a 36 B – was perfect. I chose it and asked for another in black, which was not available. I settled for the one bra, now knowing the brand, size and style for my future purchases.
Why a 36 A body requires a 36 B bra is a mystery; but as the saleslady noted, my “girls” are not the same size, so maybe that has something to do with it. It doesn’t matter at all. With my wardrobe finally complete, I can say Bettylou is now a real girl. Now bring on that makeover!
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Bettylou Cox
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- My First Bra (Fitting) - September 16, 2019
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I had a professional bra fitting done at Soma as well. I asked for the manager to make sure it would be ok and when a good time would be for me to have a fitting. I didn’t want to upset their clientele or possibly some of the sales staff. I came back at the recommended time and was taken to the dressing room and measured. I came out with several bras and matching panties. I returned several more times since then and they have always been kind and recommend different styles and let me know when sales were coming… Read more »
Thanks for your input, Vicki. My store only had one person who did fittings; but she had a trainee with her, whom I allowed to join us. The more I do this, the easier it gets. I’ve since interacted with salesladies at Express and Ulta (in drab), and as soon as I get my Ulta makeover, my plan is to take Bettylou shopping in full femme for the first time.
Another terrific online resource for lingerie, once you know your sizes, is AdoreMe.com
I have purchased bra and panty sets and single panties with no complaints. I had one problem
ordering panties that did not have an elastic waistband but that was my fault for ordering them
in the first place. I wear unlined, wired bras which are very comfortable. If they don’t display your size
(mine 46C) They will suggest a substitute (for me 44D) an it worked out well. Check it out, you may like it.
Janice
Thanks, Janice, I will give them a look. My size is easy to find, and I tried that “sister size thing for my wife (44C to 46B), but it didn’t work for her, sadly. That’s a hard size to find.
CORRECTION: I meant to write 42D, not 46B; Oops.
Thank you so muchBettylou! i have a couple of bras but have setgetting a regular bra fitting as part of my plan for 2019. I also want advice incisive for breastforms. Could i get thatatDilards?
Bobbie, I don’t know about breastforms, because they just measured the real me. IF the forms were adhered to your body, it should work the same; but if you use a pocket bra to hold the forms, I can’t say. Maybe?
Good for you!! Fair warning… bra fitting can become addictive. My first was exhilarating to say the least. Now I know every lingerie sales woman in several local stores and they seem to look forward to seeing “Michelle’. Recently one of them ,Jessica, ordered a beautiful babydoll set and had it shipped to my address… just because she likes me so much. Bra fitting took it to the next level of heaven!!
Thanks, Michellle; I suppose I could use a few more bras, but I think my next step would be matching bra and pantie sets.
for me , it’s not as much about the bras as it is about the experience of being validated and accepted. having a woman help you express your feminine self is so liberating! as Michelle is more accepted , I become more complete as a person. and yes, they also help me find matching panties… how fun is that!!
Michelle, because I have zero confidence in my makeup skills, I haven’t reached the acceptance point yet, but I’m looking forward to it….and the shopping, too, of course!
Bettylou,,, I go to a few department stores nearby and have connected with the sales women in the lingerie department as well as other departments. They only know me as Michelle and treat me very well. I wear my female attire when I go but I don’t wear a wig or makeup.Sometimes I dress at home before I go and other times I take my ‘girl bag’ with me and change into Michelle in one of the fitting rooms, depends on what I am doing before and/ or after . They see me as a feminine person and treat me… Read more »
Michelle, Yes, it does. Since i lost my shyness about asking for help, I’ve found all of the sales ladies have been both friendly and helpful. Been thinking about going out sans wig, just my skirt, top and flats, but haven’t done it, yet. And this morning, I was trying on my white, open-toe wedgies, before changing for church, and my wife said: “Are you wearing those to church?” I wasn’t; but shows me she has become much more tolerant of my dressing – and in a really short time. Can’t “dress” for church, but otherwise, the doors seem to… Read more »
you are a lucky girl to have a wife so understanding of your need to express your feminine self!! keep in mind you can also be a guy from time to time which I am sure she would appreciate.
Yes, I am, Michellle. She continues to surprise me.
make sure she knows how special she is and how so many of us would give anything to have her as our significant other.
Yes I find that exhilarating too! I’ve been meaning to do a fitting at Lane Bryant because they are the most friendly with me, I didn’t have a bra fitting but I have had a couple of sales girls who have asked me to come out of the fitting room and display the dresses and I am wearing. When I do they either give a compliment or tell me that they don’t think that is for me. And that they also suggest ways I could accessorize the outfit. They usually get me to buy a belt or something I wouldn’t… Read more »
Bettylou-congrats on stepping out of your comfort zone and thank you for sharing your story here. You give others courage to take the next step in their own journey-whatever that may be.
Cyn
Thank you, Cyn; CDH has been so helpful for me, and I just want to pay it forward to the other girls out there who could use a little encouragement.
I had read an article about men wearing bras. I had learned that most can get a bra fitting done at local bra boutiques. I had my first bra fitting done at a store called Ann’s Bra and Masectomy Shop. The ladies have all been so wonderful. All I have to do now is walk in and they know me by name. I love this store.
Thank you for the suggestion, Dorothy. For the girls who rely on forms, it seems the logical choice. The only question would be if they are all CD-friendly. It was Dillard’s reputation which gave me the courage to approach them. The sky didn’t fall, nobody called for Security to escort me out, and now I can walk into a women’s clothing store with the feeling that I belong there.
I was nervous when I had my first fitting. I previously had bought bras online but hadn’t gotten a good fitting until I went to Lane Bryant. The saleslady was calming and kind, she sensed my nervousness but reassured me I was welcome and she put me at ease. She measured and helped me with a bra and hugged me telling me I was part of the family and I was always welcomed there. Needless to say I now have an account and have bought many things from them. My ultimate goal is to go fully dressed rather than underdressed… Read more »
Deana, you’re welcome, and thank you for sharing. My wife shops at Lane Bryant, but I’m a 12 or a Large in most things, so haven’t been there for myself. I’m also looking forward to my first makeover, to be followed by a shopping trip en femme.
My wife was also against dressing, but starting with underwear, she has slowly relented to the point that now, only dresses (not skirts) are forbidden. So don’t give up hope. And yes, that first interaction with a stranger can be nerve-racking.
Deana,
My lady outfit came from Lane Bryant. My first bra fitting was trying on my sister-in-law’s one. I was alone in my brother’s house. Her bra fit great on the lower part. Her cup size was too small for my forms. So I went as a male and got the cup size I needed.
Love
Danielle