Although I have been dressing for some years, it is only been lately that I have gained courage to expand out from mere solo time locked in the house.  My wardrobe has mostly been acquired through trips to obscure shops (often adult only) for lingerie. I could buy inexpensively, taking items to the counter to pay with cash while dropping seemingly innocent comments like “It’s for my wife.”

Along came Amazon—safe, secret, and anonymous. I could get breast forms and more without having to tell a fib to a disinterested clerk. It was only recently that I stumbled across CDH. Within hours, I’d made friends and received the encouragement needed to take “the next step.” I made it my goal to go to a mainline store and to start building a true wardrobe that was more than see-thru bras and super slutty panties.

There was a list of errands, which required at least a couple of hours driving here and there. It was the perfect opportunity to slip in a trip for clothing in between the bank, pharmacy, pet store and others. After carefully planning my route to create an opportunity, I walked into Dillard’s at a large mall and headed straight to the women’s clothing section.

Crossdresser Superstore

My first reaction was of utter confusion. The departments were laid out as misses, petite, ladies, plus, none of which made any sense to me. I knew that shirts come in a 16-inch collar with 33-inch sleeves, pants are 36” waist 36” in length.  What’s the difference between a size 12 versus 13? Can the same person wear a ladies in one measure and a petite in another? This is never going to happen without help. I just wandered in circles passing clerk after clerk, too afraid to seek assistance. Then – the moment of truth.  A nice-looking young lady, perhaps 30ish, looks me straight in the eye and asks, “How can I help you sir?”

Before I could talk myself out of a response, I blurt out, “I need to find a nice skirt that comes up to about here,” cutting my hand across my thigh about 2-3 inches above the knee Without missing a beat she replies,  “What size sir?”  Pulse rate is probably running 130-140 but I take a quick breath and say, “It’s for me.” Shockingly, she doesn’t cringe and states, “Oh, then you need to be over in that section for ladies, this is petites. Someone there will be glad to help you.”

Unbelievable; no screaming, no call to security, no demands to get the h… l out of this store.

Same questions to the next clerk, a lady in her sixties. I received the same answers but this time with a little different inflection in her voice as she says, “You mean for you to wear?” “Yes,” I reply. She answers, “Oh well, then let’s look over here first.”  The next 20 minutes with the clerk felt as if I was downstairs in men’s section looking at blazers.

When I asked if I could try an item on, she says, “Of course, but you need to do it out here; the fitting rooms are ladies only.”  Yikes!  right in the middle of the store???  There was no going back now so I took off my windbreaker and slipped a light dress over my head. I went to check myself in the mirror. Two other women shopping for something or other are trying to watch me without being too obvious.  I cannot tell if they are confused, startled, curious or angry, but no matter, I keep at it and after three tries I end up with an above-the-knee dress instead of the skirt I had in mind.

Nerves under control, I check the time. Amazingly, only 20 minutes has elapsed. This is actually fun. I am going to press on, “Where can I find stockings?”  “Just to the other side of the escalator,” she replies.  This time, I march right up to the counter, “Can someone help me with stockings?” Came the answer, “Sure, right over here. What are you looking for?”

“I want black stockings, not pantyhose. They are for me.” She says, “Okay, let’s see, I think this is what you want. They are thigh-highs and I wear them myself.” I ask if they can they be worn with a garter belt and she tells my yes, if you want to spice things up, they certainly can. After paying and before I walk away, she leans in a bit and says very clearly and with intended emphasis “Now, if you ever need any other help you come see me directly.”

With a smile as I leave I note there is still time for lingerie shopping.

After a back and forth pleasant conversation with a college age salesperson, who treated me without judgement, she directed me down the mall to Victoria Secrets. I was quickly building up my courage despite all my initial fright. I might as well have been asking for a nice pen and pencil set.

At Victoria’s Secret the salesclerk was a young lady, maybe 25. “Where are the garter belts?”  “Oh, I’m sorry we don’t carry those. Is there something else I can help you with?”  I boldly asked, “How about some nice black panties for me to wear?” “Sure, they are all on display on top of the cases here, here, and here. You’ll probably need a large or XL so look in the bottom two drawers and let me know if I can help you.”  This part of the story ended as “pending.” I never did find panties and it was time to get to the pharmacy.


My new friends at CDH made it possible for me to remember that the real demons in our life are often those we create for ourselves, and that we shouldn’t live our lives in fear. This might only be a small step for many and a minor accomplishment to those further along in their self-realization. If there are readers who, like me, need the encouragement then perhaps this will provide some. I would appreciate any feedback from all of you, my newest and dear friends.

Victoria Jones

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Deborah Sullivan
Active Member
Deborah Sullivan (@debbiedd)
1 month ago

Well Victoria it sounds like one brave man has stepped into the shoes of a lovely and mature woman

Mika Malone
Active Member
Mika Malone (@trailgirl)
1 month ago

I’m right there with you, girl. Six days ago, I bought my first time makeup haul. Yesterday, was my first trip to the ladies section to shop for skirts. I didn’t have any help from the associates but I found what I wanted and made two trips to the men’s fitting room to try stuff on. The girl outside the fitting room seemed ambivalent to all the women’s items I had. It wasn’t too difficult for me because I had bought a lot of panties in stores in the past. But this was a lot more exciting because I new… Read more »

June Richards Jewell
June Richards Jewell (@cornish-coffee)
1 month ago

Pleasure to read. Go you! I dream of having the courage to do that, and dream of meeting a friendly and sympathetic assistant, but I’m a large guy in my 60s and I’d just be too obvious. I’ve bought panties and tights in a store but that’s just an off-the-rack thing, run them through the self-checkout. I have bought a skirt with assistance, but it was genuinely for my wife, who was ill at the time, I walked into Marks + Sparks once and they had some gorgeous A-line midi-skirts on the rack, beautiful silky red rose on cream print… Read more »

Sandy Jayson
Active Member
Sandy Jayson (@loneleycd)
1 month ago

Another Great story, Victoria. That’s why I love CDH and all you wonderful girls out there. I to had a great day yesterday I went shopping in drab and went to Sophia to buy make up for myself. The sales gals were sooooo helpful and I was sooooo happy.

Active Member
Prudence (@prudence)
1 month ago

Victoria, good for you Dear!! And it will get easier. Hugs Pru

Lucinda Hawkns
Active Member
Lucinda Hawkns (@dlgeb275)
1 month ago

great message about going out and shopping for female cloths and telling the sales clerk its for you. with no reaction or bad comments she was more then happy to help you find what you are looking for. its the 2020 age. men wear female cloths and look good in them and pass as a female. when i buy female stuff i am afraid to say its for me and i say its for my wife. maybe one day i will walk around and look for a dress and have a sales lady help me and tell her its for… Read more »

Robin Girly
Robin Girly (@gtofem)
1 month ago

Congratulations Victoria.I always shop for my clothes in person.All the salesgirls I’ve encountered have been lovely.I plan on going shopping dressed.

Rosydoo (@rosydoo)
1 month ago

Agree with all the other comments. We all need the balls to do this so it will be mainstream like being gay or trans. If we keep it in the shadows and act ashamed, it is our fault that a large part of society does not accept us. That said, we are all in different situations and must find what works for us. In my case, I can do when traveling but can not do locally because it would devastate my wife if she found out and I love her though she is not accepting of anything public. She’s one… Read more »

Virtual Flow
Virtual Flow (@virtualflow)
1 month ago

Thanks for your writings Victoria. I’m still to be courageous enough but your experience has given me a nudge 🙂

Brenda Hunter
Active Member
Brenda Hunter (@hazeleyes62)
1 month ago

Hi darling, the article is awesome. I lime the part when the sales lady told you to come see her if you ever need help. I still get anxious when I am out looking at girl stuff, but it is in my head. Nobody has ever been negative to me. Huggs. Brenda

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