I went out dressed as Julie for the first time today, and it was so exciting I had to tell you all about it.
A bit about me; I’m 56 and like so many of us, I started crossdressing around 10. I remember trying on my mom’s panties and how exciting it felt. I experimented over the years, eventually graduating to bras and tights. I’m a bit embarrassed to admit that I have worn the panties of every woman I have ever dated.
I have been married for 25 years to a wonderful woman. About 10 years ago, I started to secretly buy my own lingerie. I would sometimes “underdress” at work. It remained an occasional thing, and then five years ago my wife found my lingerie stash. This led to some interesting conversations. I admitted my habit to her. She was initially shocked and upset, went through the typical range of thoughts; thinking I was gay, etc. I assured her I wasn’t and that this was just a small part of who I am.
I ended up purging my sizable collection of lingerie and vowed to stop dressing. (You can guess how that went…I couldn’t do it.) I NEEDED to dress. Eventually, my wife said she understood, but she wanted no part of Julie. I guess I am lucky she was that understanding. I began buying lingerie again.
A couple of years ago, something changed, and I felt the urge to take it to a new level. I started buying dresses, skirts, tops and shoes. I bought a pair of forms online. I found a fantastic CD boutique near my work and started going there on Friday lunch hours. The owner is fantastic, and I tried on whole outfits for her. She was the first person to ever see me dressed.
I also began selling some of my male clothes and using the money to buy lingerie and woman’s clothes; designer dresses, skirts and tops, stockings and garter belts, shoes, and clip on earrings. My wardrobe rapidly grew. I bought a dirty blonde bob wig from the CD boutique. I shaved my legs and arms. I work from home on Mondays, and I began spending the entire day as Julie. If I had to miss a week, I would feel anxious and frustrated. I started to dream of going out as Julie. I was definitely taking my habit to a new level.
Then the COVID-19 pandemic hit. Suddenly, I was trapped in the house with my wife and three kids, who were all home from school. For months, my dressing stopped completely. It was incredibly frustrating. I would sometimes lock myself in the bathroom for a quick 15 minute dressing session, but it was not enough.
Recently, the city has started to open up again. My wife is back at her office some days and my kids are moving out, which brings me to my first outing yesterday. My biggest fear has always been exposing my face. What if I see someone I know? What if it’s obvious that I’m a CD? Having to wear a mask because of the virus gave me the cover I needed to feel more comfortable.
On a day when my wife left for work and my kids were out, I immediately showed and started to get ready. My legs are not shaved now because it is summer, so I had to wear tights. I wore a short mini skirt and a cotton sweater. I put on my earrings and some of my wife’s jewelry. Finally, I slipped into a pair of 4” black sling-back heels. I stepped back to look at myself in the mirror; I was ready and so excited!
I walked out the door, got into the car, and started driving. I went into a supermarket first to test the waters. I will never forget the nervous excitement as I got out of the car and started walking towards the market. There were people all about. I walked past several shoppers coming out. OMG! I was in heaven! I walked all around and no one even looked at me sideways. I bought a couple of items and did the self checkout.
It was time to hit a women’s clothing store. I put my groceries in the car and walked over and into the store. I was greeted by one of the employees! I spent almost an hour browsing the dresses, skirts and lingerie, trying on shoes, walking around. Other women were all around me. At one point, I had to use the bathroom and I used the ladies room! It went well; I decided to drive to another, larger department store.
I parked intentionally far from the store and walked across the parking lot in my short skirt and heels. There was a breeze, and my hair blew in my face. I spent another hour walking all around. Unfortunately, the fitting rooms were not open due to COVID.
All in all, it was an absolutely incredible experience. The flood gates have burst open, and I will be doing it again soon and often! I can’t believe I waited this long.
I hope you enjoyed my story, and that it might help some of you girls, who are in my shoes, take the next step, and venture out.
Oh Julie – that’s so inspiring! I’m very jealous of your courage. I’m 59 and only recently out to my wife after decades of secrecy, guilt and shame. Slowly building my wardrobe and can not wait until I can confidently step out as my true self. Thank-you for your story!
Thank you Sarah. You will get there, and it will be everything you hoped it would be. Keep going!
Julie – thanks for sharing. Very well written. The first time out truly is a wonderful experience. Your grocery store event is similar to mine but I had picked up a bottle of wine so a checkout lady had to ID me. Funny now in hindsight but terrifying at the time.
Thanks Elaine. I can imagine that would have been terrifying! Lol.
Comments on?
Loved your story, when I came out to my wife she had a different approach, she went her way I a went mine. Still in the closet but that door has crack open a time or two. I am looking forward to going out shopping as a woman whether I have to wear a face mask or not. I have been to a woman’s store under-dressed as a woman and brought a blouse and skirt that I was allowed to try on. But I do want to go out completely dressed as a woman this time and enjoy myself shopping.
You should definitely go for it Sharon!
Congratulations Julie! What a wonderful story and thank you for sharing. I find that its still a challenge every time I step out the door dressed, but then once I do I don’t want the experience to end.
Thanks Heather! I’ve been out several times since and it’s just as exciting every time. No going back now!
Just sounds like a great deal of fun. Wish I went with you. Molly
Thanks Molly!
Hi Julie
That is great. I am glad you enjoyed it so much. I have been there myself and it is great to be out completely dressed in public, even if it is a little nerve racking at first. Nice story. Good luck.
Jennifer
Thanks Jennifer. It has been incredible to finally get over this barrier!
Julie, I know how exciting that was to get out for the first time. Enjoy every moment but do not let the “Pink Fog” take over too much and cloud your judgement. Always be prepared for the unexpected which could easily happen. I always try and take a bag of extra clothes, shoes just incase you have to get back to reality really quick. Quick example: I was out last Wednesday, enjoying my day when I get a call in the afternoon from my wife that our daughter and our 2 granddaughters were at our home and the oldest was… Read more »
So funny that you say that Vanessa! I have been doing exactly that- bringing a bag with male clothes in case I need to do a quick change, and I actually did have to last week when one of my sons arrived home unexpectedly while I was out as Julie. I went to a private spot to change just as you did before I went home. Shorts and a t-shirt and a pair of shoes to hide my painted toenails! Having a bottle of nail polish remover in the car is a great idea! I totally agree you need to… Read more »
I bring the bag of extra clothes too, plus a little extra cash- just in case, etc. be careful girls and plan for everything.
I know those fears and excitement so well. I feel them everytime I go out.
I’ve been out several times since. The fear is going away but the excitement is still the same!
My fear is always there just before and as I’m going out. But excitement takes over after a few minutes. If there was only fear I probably would chicken out. But I know the excitement will follow. And it’s a thrill and rush I can’t get from anything else.
Julie, What a wonderful story! I hope you continue to enjoy going out in public.
Hugs,
Dianne
Thanks Dianne. It has been an amazing experience so far!