From the very first time I picked up my mother’s pantyhose and ran my hand over the silky smoothness I was hooked. I found a discarded pair and just had to try them on – the feeling was electric. I ran my hands up and down my nylon encased legs and it was heavenly. The only other thought I had was that it was somehow a bad thing to do. Here I was a boy wearing pantyhose and loving it. I was so ashamed that I had tried them on. I knew I had crossed some kind of normal behavior. I felt that I was a terrible person and that there had to be something wrong with me. I was ashamed and excited at the same time. I took them off and hid them away, knowing I would like to wear them again.
I sometimes came home from school and before mother would come home from work I would go through her stocking drawer and run my hands through her things . This was at a time before most women stopped wearing dresses and hose. The sound of a woman wearing stockings while walking, with the nylon rubbing together on their legs was exciting and made me want to have that experience. This is where it all began – my journey into that forbidden world, the place where boys were not allowed to go.
We were supposed to admire girls wearing stockings not want to wear them. The secret had to be kept because if anyone knew I would be most certainly be punished, ridiculed and embarrassed. How could I deal with that? My friends would never associate with me, it would be as if I had some terrible disease. This desire had to remain my secret.
Whether my mother knew that I was playing with her things or not she never questioned me. Looking back I do not know what I would have done. The next piece of female attire I tried on was high heels. I had looked at them while I was putting on my pantyhose, usually the discarded ones with runs in them, and wondered what it would be like to wear them. It wasn’t long before I gave in to my thoughts and slid my nylon encased feet into a pair. I had watched women walk in them and wondered what it would be like and when I took a few steps in them that first time feelings overwhelmed my senses. I knew I was hooked AGAIN . My feet were almost the same size as my mother’s so most of her shoes fit. They were slightly too big but I did not care. Each time I wore them I would carefully put them back and place them exactly as I found them.
This is how my secret began and I will write more about it in my next installment.
Ricki
forgot to add this. would love to see the looks on 2 women that knew i was a cross dresser and they would tell me oh you are a cross dresser can we dress you up all pretty, they would do my make up, wig, nails, make me so pretty i would pass as a female and go out clubbing with them and soon get dates and go to a hotel or our home and all 3 have sex but the 2 ladies would watch and video tape me having oral sex with my date, then soon having oral sex… Read more »
My Dressing started when I was 11 or 12 started with girdle and nylons that I had to clip on to the girdle Such a feeling and from there to Moms bras and there to skirts and blouses and then a friend found out about my cross dressing by accident by coming over my Home while i was dressed and he found my sexy even though we were young . It ended that day with me having oral sex with him from that day I felt sexy that I attracted him. Now that Iam older I still dress every day… Read more »
Hi Stacey I know that desire I never had any experience with anyone else but that is not saying I did not want to . I always wondered what it would be like and the day did come when I had the opportunity to be with another cd. I was not disappointed in fact part of my next instalment will be about that feeling . Stay tuned for my hidden secret part 2
Ricki
Thanks Marylin for your wonderful letter there is something about pantyhose that seemed to me to be magical. As you know it is what started me on my journey . For me there is no better feeling than fresh shaved or waxed legs and a new pair of hose . For me that’s how I began but I soon felt that I had to experience the next thing and that was to dress up completely and to feel what I desired the most and that was to feel fem
Ricki
My early years began when the diagnosis of type 1 diabetes collided with pubity. At school I was bullied for the marks left by the needles called a drugie and other hurtful things. My aunt had noticed my quietness and inward behaviour. She suggested to inject my tummy as the marks would not be so visible. I hoped then it would change me into a girl by doing this. Alas of course it did not. On having the feelings I was not right I was at my aunt’s when my parents were on holiday. One morning I had strong feelings… Read more »
Rachel What a Beautiful story! we are so glad you chose to join us here. When you get a chance pop over to the new member page on the forums and post a quick intro to it so we can get to know you better. Then browse around the forums and member pages and jump right in with comments and questions. You’ll find the members here very supportive and friendly. PM me anytime!
Cyn
Great story Rachel I don’t know how I would have reacted if I had been caught but one thing is for sure you outcome does have a happy ending for you sorry to hear your biggest supporter your aunt has passed but I sure you will find as I have lots of support here
Ricki
I started at a very young age. We did not have a lot of money and lived in a two bedroom apartment. My parents had one bedroom and my two sisters had the second one. Each night I went to sleep in my parents bed until they were ready to retire. Then I would be carried to the living room and put into the sofa bed. My mother used to hang dresses she ironed on a lamp in our living room. I awoke one morning and, to this day I still don’t know why, but I took one of the… Read more »
Great story Terri. Society norms seem to drive attitudes. We have a lot in common. I wish I could dress anytime I wanted. Your post was not long and enjoyed reading it. I hazard to guess you felt good getting this off your chest. jonnie
The clothes have become a huge part of my life. Panties everyday for sure. Nylons come in a very close second. No reason to change these things because I tried many times and it never goes away. I’m in a better place now because acceptance has followed. Enjoy your femme side!
I absolutely love super sheer Pantyhose! They transform legs in way nothing else can! And they also make my shoes fit better!
I’ve worn stockings and pantyhose since I was 4. They were gifts and hand me downs from female family members. I began buying my own at 13. Wore them out openly with shorts at 17 and when I began dressing in earnest, pantyhose and short skirt or dress hand heels became staples.
I rarely go barelegged and never as Patty.
This is so how I feel.
Im 41 now 13 was my first time.
I loved it but suppressed it until 3 years ago after being married for 15 years with all the female clothes around me I gave in.
And started again this time my feeling of mtf became stronger than ever.
Wanting breasts. No unwanted male parts.
If I could change anything I would of not suppressed her from coming out now I feel that I’m just to old to do anything about it.
I will never be pretty
Hi, Ricki, it was a similar situation for me. I had developed a passion for tights when I was in my teens. Like yourself, I tried on my mother’s tights and for me being covered from waist to toes in a pair of suntan sheer tights was indescribable. My mother never found out, or if she did, she did not say anything. Coming forward to today, I am now the proud owner of a shoulder length wig, several skirts and I am building a large collection of tights in a variety of deniers which range from 20 to 100 denier.… Read more »