My journey as Hailey has been a long one. It started at age eight in who I was. It took time, as I first was aware around age three. When I was eight, I was diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome, which is a form of autism. My parents dealt with this well and they knew not to give up on me. They saw me as a normal son and still do to this day.

I went to a therapist, and they brought up more things to my parents about my Asperger’s syndrome. It was that I was having LGBT issues. Luckily, they took this well, letting me figure out who I was. I wasn’t gay or bisexual, I liked girls only. I also wasn’t transgender, feeling 100% happy as a boy. That was when it came out to me privately. My mom had left her women’s clothing catalogs she’d gotten in the mail on the end tables in our living room. I picked them up and started looking through them. It started the realization to coming out that who I was liked feminine clothing and wanted to wear them at times. I never was caught doing it.

This was at age 10, and my mom saw the changes in me after that. She saw I was ready to come out and gave me the time. My mother knew not to force it; it would have been harder for me to come out. I agreed with her and knew I was heading in the right direction. My parents were glad to see it happen as well, knowing it was time.

Finally, at age 11, my mom at an estate sale, saw me looking through a rack of girl’s clothing. There was a dark navy dress that I loved. I kept pulling it out to look at. The look on my mom’s face said she had found who I was and knew that she couldn’t say no to that dress and bought it for me. She knew it would have been a huge disappointment if she had said no to it.

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I was excited, and in the car, my mom saw how badly I wanted to try on that dress. I was so excited, and my mom told me to wait until we got home. I did calm down and knew my mom was right. When we got home, I had that dress in my right hand while Mom unlocked the front door. Then it happened, the excitement as I raced to my room, closing the door. I took off my shoes, shirt, and jeans, finally putting the dress on.

I fell in love seeing it on me, and my mom was waiting for me. She was ready to see me in that dress. I opened the door, and she saw who I was had come out. My mother said she was proud of me. When my dad came home, he said the same thing; he saw who I was wearing that dress. I did have to take it off and put my shirt, jeans, and shoes back on. My mom went back to that estate sale and surprised me by buying the rest of those girl’s clothes.

She brought them home. There were some nice tops and skirts, including more dresses I found to love in them. They all went in one side of my closet. My dad did his part, as he said he would take me to get my ears pierced. My mom was glad he helped out. She saw that he wanted to make my life better. They both knew they were proud parents of a part-time daughter, and they still are to this day.

My therapist saw right away that I was a crossdresser. After that, Mom bought me some bras, panties, pantyhose, tights, and shoes. I did get some wigs from a friend of hers, too. I picked my femme name; Hailey fit me well and has stuck to this day. As I got older, I knew there was no going back. Dressing as Hailey is a part of me. It has been a life-changer for me in the right direction. Also, I am glad my parents never gave up on me and they are still supportive to this day. They love and accept Hailey as their part-time daughter in their life. They always call me Hailey when I am dressed as her using the pronouns she and her. As Hailey, they see me much nicer and calmer, which is true.

I came out good on this through my journey since Hailey came out. I am the oldest of three sons. My brothers see Hailey as a great part-time big sister. It wasn’t easy for them at first to deal with it. It’s a good thing that things were worked out. I learned that I am not the total masculine one with a femme side. I never let anything hold me back and proved the doctors wrong. They said I would not have a normal life, and I proved them wrong. I have a great normal life even having Asperger’s syndrome. My family even agrees with me.

EnFemme

More Articles by Hailey Dekker

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    Michelle Brown
    Lady
    Member
    2 months ago

    @Hailey Dekker Hailey,what a wonderful story you have told us and Thank You for telling it so well.You have an awesome{Michelle dates herself by using that word} family to be so accepting and encouraging of you.Girl,you rock that dress and heels,and are an example to all of us to be yourself .    Michelle Brown.

    Melissa Penning
    Member
    Active Member
    2 months ago

    Hailey, Iove your story. How wonderful to have parents and brothers as accepting as yours. And by the way, you look absolutely adorable.

    Leah
    Baroness
    Active Member
    2 months ago

    awesome story with a very happy outcome of love and support

    Terri
    Duchess
    Active Member
    2 months ago

    What a lovely story. I have now memories of attraction to female clothing before the age of 11 or 12. Mt first memory was putting on my mother’s slip when I was that age. I think my parents knew something but never discussed it. I remember going to the library and looking up crossdressing and was very frightened after reading the information. I was born in 1948.

    Jennifer Friendly
    Lady
    Active Member
    2 months ago
    Reply to  Terri

    I too was born in 1948, back in a small Appalachian coal mining town, and recall the fear as I grew that, well, back then, something was “wrong with me". Everything was so different then, we didn’t even have indoor plumbing until I was around 8 and a TV until I was 10. We just didn’t know, didn’t understand, nobody did. So began a lifetime of hiding, fear, shame and guilt that I’ve only been able to at least mostly overcome over the last few years. It’s so great that we’ve finally come out of the dark ages, most people… Read more »

    Terri
    Duchess
    Active Member
    2 months ago

    One of the things I love about belonging to our community is all the interesting people I have met over the years. My life changed when I met another person like myself. The expression " You are Not Alone " became so real to me. I was 29 or 30.

    Catharine Connall
    Lady
    Active Member
    2 months ago

    Than k you for sharing this wonderful story Hailey! What a great family you have.

    Marie-Christine Bouvier
    Lady
    Member

    Hailey, that is such an amazing story. You have the best family and all are so supportive to you. Enjoy your feminine side and tell us more about your everyday life as Hailey.

    Holly Marie
    Lady
    Trusted Member
    2 months ago

    A lovely story; you are so lucky! My daughter has been diagnosed with Aspergers,and while I haven’t had a diagnosis, I’m told I exhibit all the symptoms – but I don’t care! Holly is Holly, for all her faults and flaws. I don’t know if that picture above is of you – but if it is then all I can say is – YOU GO, GIRL!!! Holly XXX

    Jennyk Kay
    Member
    1 month ago

    I was 6 or 7 when my older sister decided it would be fun dress me in girl clothes. She would then hold me down as she was older and stronger having her knee in my groin. By the time I hit puberty all I could think about was re creating that sensation. I have been dressing ever since. I am attracted to women only but associate sex as a woman. Anytime I even think sexy thoughts the urge to dress is overwhelming . I realize my journey is different than others but it’s nice to be surrounded by supportive… Read more »

    Vera
    Vera
    1 month ago

    Dera Hailey when you said “  I learned that I am not the total masculine one with a femme side. "
    So very well said ! and true

    Jane Millane
    Lady
    Active Member
    1 month ago

    Hailey you have been on an empowering journey, it good that your parents are so supportive, l know my own parents never would have been.
    Also it’s good your siblings are so supportive,.
    Yore story is very much an inspirational one thank you Jane xx

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