My life away from CDH and what happened; thank goodness I am back!

Hi everyone, my name is Fiona and three years ago I was an ambassador here at CDH. I left to pursue a career in radio broadcasting at a station serving the trans community, and indeed the LGBT community as a whole.

Shortly after leaving CDH my wife started experiencing many medical issues. She is a type one diabetic, which means she has to inject insulin to survive.

One morning I woke up to find my wife’s speech was slurred; I couldn’t see her because it was still dark in the bedroom, but on seeing her I realised she had a stroke. She was rushed to the hospital where she was given treatment and was making a good recovery, and just two weeks later went on to do a 5k charity run, which I thought was awesome. Whilst all this was going on, she was also learning to be a physical trainer.


Six months later she passed her exams and barely two days after that she suffered a heart attack. Again she was rushed to hospital and examined, where they found badly diseased arteries caused by her diabetes. This required a triple heart bypass to remedy but then……. Covid came.

Her operation was cancelled no fewer than six times owing to severe hospital bed shortages, and finally at Christmas she got her operation. She was doing well, but then caught Covid at hospital which aggravated her stroke symptoms and made her go backwards in recovery. The wound got infected too, and she had to go through a further 14 operations to sort that out; currently she is in a wheelchair unable to walk. That was two years ago.

By now, if you are still reading this and have not fallen asleep, you are probably wondering how on earth I am coping? The human body is a wonderful thing and it is surprising how much you can deal with and cope with; I surprised myself actually.

Whilst all this was happening, I so badly wanted to return to CDH, as I felt lost and alone. The radio however took a lot of time up and it just wasn’t possible, as I was holding down a full-time job also. I made an absolute promise to myself that when I got the chance, I’d be back here in the blink of an eye; wild horses wouldn’t keep me away!! I don’t like breaking promises, so here I am!!

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After the plight with my wife, I decided I needed some respite, as understandably, cross dressing was a rare thing. I met up with a local trans lady and we were supposed to be watching a film but ended up having a long talk instead. Since then, I have been out and about dressed up and it feels so good, and is beneficial for my state of mind too.

I decided that I wanted to go to my very first photo shoot and I was not disappointed. Talk about being treated like a princess!! I would urge anyone thinking about doing it to go for it!! You will not be disappointed. I was very nervous at the beginning because it felt strange having someone else doing my makeup and taking photos, but the nerves soon went and I just enjoyed the moment, not wanting it to end.

Soooo…. as you can see, quite a lot has happened since I have been away from CDH, but it has been an experience for me both good and bad. It has taught me to appreciate the little things; it has taught me to appreciate my friends, show lots of love, and support for people in need. It has also taught me how huge a mistake I made leaving CDH.

I am going to end this article on a very soppy note, but it comes from the heart. I cannot believe the sheer love and friendship I have experienced since I came back; I am totally taken aback. Stuck for words (unusual for me). You are all beautiful, like bright shining stars in the sky oozing with love, compassion and a true sense of togetherness. I wanted to just say thank you for all your correspondence so far, your kind messages and friendship; you are the best! Keep being you and hold your heads up high.

With Love, Fiona-Ann Moss xx



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Kirra W
8 months ago

Hi Fiona-Ann,
I may have not seen you leaving and coming back as I’ve joined less than 2 months ago.
But you are starting so many interesting topics   in the forum that it’s not possible to not notice you. Thank you for that.

I wish you and your wish all the best for the future, hoping that the worse is behind you and that you will be enjoying the future.
Take care, and Welcome Back!!  

Julie (Jules) Anderson
Active Member
8 months ago

Good to have you back, girlfriend! And I’m so sorry for what your wife and you have been through. You wrote, “…if you haven’t fallen asleep…” Actially I was in tears reading the list of terrible health issues, one after the other. I’m diabetic and had a quintuple BP five years ago, so I certainly relate. I’m so happy that you both seem to have gotten past the worst of it. Interesting you alluded to it, but when dressed in full Jules mode all my aches, pains, and depression vanishes. Positive female energy, I suppose. So glad you’re back! Hugs… Read more »

Mandi Smith
Active Member
8 months ago

Fiona, welcome back, honey! So sorry to hear about all the health issue in your family. You will be in my prayers.

Susan Sue
Trusted Member
8 months ago

You have been through so much. I am very happy you are back and doing well!

Dawn Shaw
8 months ago

I enjoyed your post very much your a lovely lady. I have and continue to suffer with depression,I Blame Dawn for it. She wants out and its hard to be alone in crossdressing in a small town where I know I would never pass. What you did was brave and fulfilling. So proud of you.

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