My life away from CDH and what happened; thank goodness I am back!
Hi everyone, my name is Fiona and three years ago I was an ambassador here at CDH. I left to pursue a career in radio broadcasting at a station serving the trans community, and indeed the LGBT community as a whole.
Shortly after leaving CDH my wife started experiencing many medical issues. She is a type one diabetic, which means she has to inject insulin to survive.
One morning I woke up to find my wife’s speech was slurred; I couldn’t see her because it was still dark in the bedroom, but on seeing her I realised she had a stroke. She was rushed to the hospital where she was given treatment and was making a good recovery, and just two weeks later went on to do a 5k charity run, which I thought was awesome. Whilst all this was going on, she was also learning to be a physical trainer.
Six months later she passed her exams and barely two days after that she suffered a heart attack. Again she was rushed to hospital and examined, where they found badly diseased arteries caused by her diabetes. This required a triple heart bypass to remedy but then……. Covid came.
Her operation was cancelled no fewer than six times owing to severe hospital bed shortages, and finally at Christmas she got her operation. She was doing well, but then caught Covid at hospital which aggravated her stroke symptoms and made her go backwards in recovery. The wound got infected too, and she had to go through a further 14 operations to sort that out; currently she is in a wheelchair unable to walk. That was two years ago.
By now, if you are still reading this and have not fallen asleep, you are probably wondering how on earth I am coping? The human body is a wonderful thing and it is surprising how much you can deal with and cope with; I surprised myself actually.
Whilst all this was happening, I so badly wanted to return to CDH, as I felt lost and alone. The radio however took a lot of time up and it just wasn’t possible, as I was holding down a full-time job also. I made an absolute promise to myself that when I got the chance, I’d be back here in the blink of an eye; wild horses wouldn’t keep me away!! I don’t like breaking promises, so here I am!!
After the plight with my wife, I decided I needed some respite, as understandably, cross dressing was a rare thing. I met up with a local trans lady and we were supposed to be watching a film but ended up having a long talk instead. Since then, I have been out and about dressed up and it feels so good, and is beneficial for my state of mind too.
I decided that I wanted to go to my very first photo shoot and I was not disappointed. Talk about being treated like a princess!! I would urge anyone thinking about doing it to go for it!! You will not be disappointed. I was very nervous at the beginning because it felt strange having someone else doing my makeup and taking photos, but the nerves soon went and I just enjoyed the moment, not wanting it to end.
Soooo…. as you can see, quite a lot has happened since I have been away from CDH, but it has been an experience for me both good and bad. It has taught me to appreciate the little things; it has taught me to appreciate my friends, show lots of love, and support for people in need. It has also taught me how huge a mistake I made leaving CDH.
I am going to end this article on a very soppy note, but it comes from the heart. I cannot believe the sheer love and friendship I have experienced since I came back; I am totally taken aback. Stuck for words (unusual for me). You are all beautiful, like bright shining stars in the sky oozing with love, compassion and a true sense of togetherness. I wanted to just say thank you for all your correspondence so far, your kind messages and friendship; you are the best! Keep being you and hold your heads up high.
With Love, Fiona-Ann Moss xx
More Articles by Fiona-Ann Moss
- Feeling like a caged animal…
- CDH. A testimonial from Fiona Moss.
- What Makes Fiona Tick?
- My trip down Crossdressing’s Rocky Road
Wow, Fiona, you’ve been through a lot! So good to have you here! I’ve experienced similar things that I can share in a private message. Love your topics!
Big hugs,
Ms. Lauren M
Hi Fiona, I am certainly glad you managed to find your way back to CDH and received a warm welcome, you are really an asset to CDH. I hope your wife is doing better, sorry to hear of her struggles, she sounds like a strong woman.
Kate
You must be a tough cookie to have survived what you have been through. Although you have had to go through and emotional mill and keep going you haven’t lost touch with the real you having revived yourself. The worst thing people do in situations like yours is to forget who you are and that can cause damage. I am proud of you and welcome back- and you are still smiling…
What an awful series of events. I do hope you are both on the mend. It sounds like a total nightmare. Best wishes to you both.
Hi Fiona, Thank you for sharing this intimate and personal life situation with us. It is good for you and for the rest of us to be here together. Glad to have you back and wishing you and your wife continued recovery and success. Marg
Hi Fiona,
I have only been here for two months so I didn’t realize you had been gone. I have enjoyed your comments since I joined CDH. I’m sorry you’re wife and yourself have been through so much and I hope for the speediest and best recovery. Please accept my most heartfelt love and best wishes to you and your wife.
hugs
AnnaBeth
Hi Fiona, I too, have been dealing with home care for the last 5 years. My life partner is older, and in the last 5 years she has fractured her hip, humerus, wrist and broken an ankle bone. Throw Covid into the mix and I have been very frustrated in that I have not been able to enjoy my public CD life very often. It does get me depressed sometimes, but compared to what else is happening to other people around the world, I have to honestly ask myself, “What am I complaining about?" My life is secure and safe.… Read more »
I don’t cry a lot but your article made me cry and wanted to hug you. I admire your courage and coping with everything. This story inspires us all, at least me and i am very happy to know that i am among a community in which you are taking part into.
I hope everything will go nicer from now on.
Love and hugs
Wow Fiona! Thanks for sharing and I wish the very best outcome for your wife. She’s a strong woman for sure and you are strong too dealing with what life had thrown your way. I’m happy you came back to the sisterhood here on CDH where all of us who have been here a while know we will be welcomed and comforted. Your posts are always interesting and enlightening and I look forward to reading more.
I’m so glad you made it back after all that has happened in your life. I wish your wife the best as well, for as full a recovery as possible given her struggles. I hope you can continue experiencing more of your life and the world around you as a woman too, although it may seem a relatively small thing compared to all you have dealt with.