Long Hair Wig

By the time I was ready to become female, I had accepted that a woman’s hair helps define who she is.  Practical, slutty, sophisticated (or maniacal, as the case may be), we ladies use our hairstyles to manifest our inner image.

During my first year I went through a lot of hairstyles.  Like a science fiction movie creature, my hair morphed and churned through umpteen phases of womanly transmutation from Marilyn Monroe to Donna Reed to Pat Benatar.   Some of the styles which I sported were the equivalent of wearing a giant foam cheese slice on my head, and I expected to be taken seriously.  (Sorry, Green Bay, but… honestly!)  Merciful people preserved my dignity by looking away, but the meaner ones pointed and laughed.  I was not earning a passing grade.

Through trial and error, I made slow progress.  Passersby began to respond with authentic smiles, flirty winks, and best of all  indifference.  I say that because indifference meant I was blending in.  A girl wants to be noticed, but if it is a choice between indifference and a freak show, she will take indifference all day long.   Then, much to my dismay, a breeze would stir or the sun would appear.   And my fake hair would betray me.  Once again, I had to endure giggles and grimaces or worse

Crossdresser Heaven - Find Your Tribe

Deciding to seek professional help, I did my research and learned of shops who catered to gender nonconforming guys like me.  It was a happy day when I discovered Gia’s Wig Shop.  Gia’s shop quickly became my first destination when preparing for that “Big Night Out”.

My visits frequently reminded me of the Emerald City scene from The Wizard of Oz.  Dorothy and the guys, dirty and tired from a hard journey, are “freshened up” by a jaunty crew.

Pat, pat here, pat, pat there

And a couple of brand new straws

That’s how we keep you young and fair

In the Merry old land of Oz!

New straw for the Scarecrow, fresh polish for the Tin Man… and new hair-dos for Dorothy, the Lion and Toto.  It’s pretty much the same when Gia gets someone in that special chair of hers and does magical things with her brushes and scissors.  A snip here, a back-comb there, a spray and a fluff.  And voila!  A passable woman takes the place of that clumsy crossdresser.

Soon, however, I found that I wanted more.  Not even Gia could disguise the weird permanent curl of synthetic hair, nor that unnatural polyethylene shine.  I decided to go all out and buy Evie some real human hair.   Taking the plunge, I scheduled an appointment with Gia.  Sitting in Gia’s chair while she installed my new wig, I was a postulant awaiting the long desired bestowal of holy garments.  And it was with similar reverence that my new hair was received.  I stared at my reflection in the mirror, hardly daring to believe that this woman was me.  “God, it’s… it’s beautiful! Oh… and it feels so nice.” My hands caressed the dark brown tresses that were already a part of me.

That afternoon I wore my new wig to the mall.  From previous experience, I had become an expert in detecting that “wait a minute — are you a man?” type of side glance.  Just a week earlier, I had received a few of those from female shoppers in that very mall.  Women tend to be sensitive to subtle differences in appearance, and synthetic hair may be tantamount to a neon sign.  Now, I passed among my adopted sisters, apparently unnoticed.  And then I received the biggest compliment of all.

“Excuse me… Excuse me, ma’am?”   I thought the woman must be speaking to a different ma’am, but she hurriedly approached me, clipboard clutched to chest. “Good afternoon, ma’am.”

I slowed my pace. “Yes?” I said, as she flanked me.

“Hi, we’re interviewing working mothers for a survey on household products.”  She spoke quickly but made full eye contact with me – no pause, no recoil.  “I was thinking you would be perfect for our study. Did I guess right?”

I wanted to hug her.  I nodded my head to confirm her guess.  I was a working parent, after all.

“Ah, I thought so. Would you have time to…”

“I’m sorry, but I’m really late. But thank you anyway.” I hurried off.  No sense in spoiling my victory by giving her too much exposure to my basso profundo voice!

Since that momentous day, I have accumulated four human hair wigs.  Each one expresses a different facet of my inner self, and each one affirms the authenticity of that self.  To paraphrase a popular saying, “Once you have real, you never go back.”

Adapted from “The Crossdresser’s Field Guide”, by Evie David Marks.

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Bethany (whose nom de plume is Evie), is a few years post-op now, but there were tons of crossdressing fun, agony, self-revelation and hilarity along the way. In her books, The Crossdresser's Field Guide and My Life in Stolen Pantyhose, she captured those chaotic early days with entertaining, sexy and sometimes bittersweet memoir. Bethany is now a life transformation coach and business consultant living the greater Austin, Texas area.

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17 Comments
  1. Jackie Wild 9 months ago

    Yep human hair wigs and lace fronts are the bestest wigs out there for comparing to the real look. Kind of spendy but well worth it when the compliments begin flowing in. It’s also cool that they are heat treatable so we can play and adjust the look and style some. Congratulations Evie on your discovery. May many more fill your inventory.

    • Krista 9 months ago

      Thanks so much for the article Evie. You have a really nice writing style putting your message into the form of a memorable story. I also totally agree with you about getting good wigs. I started with some cheapo synthetic wigs and in hindsight I can’t believe I wore them.
      I happened to be in Denver one week a few years ago and heard about a shop that caters to CDs. I stopped by and they were wonderful. They spent a long time with me picking out a really great wig, the right color, the right style, and well worth the price. I also bought breast forms that day as well.
      Keep sharing your stories Evie, have a lovely rest of the week,
      Hugs, Krista

  2. Angelique Grant 9 months ago

    Evie loved that you shared this story! I totally agree with you as (although I’m very part time) I think that passable gorgeous fem hair is the finishing key piece to being a woman. Thank you so much for sharing!!

  3. Belle 9 months ago

    What an amazing story and an inspiration!! Thanks for sharing it and for giving some of us hope that someday – we can go out in public without the unwanted attention, but to just be able to be – ourselves … and walk proudly doing so. Thank you!!

    Belle

  4. skippy1965(Cynthia) 9 months ago

    Lovely story Evie. I’m slowly letting my own natural hair grow out but I do love the options that good wigs give.

  5. Samantha G..... 9 months ago

    Great article Evie. The hair for me is really like the icing on the cake.
    I just don’t feel complete without it. I keep saying to gals that ask when you find the right wig it should send a chill down your spine (in a good way) the first time you see yourself with it.

    Hugs..

  6. Janine 9 months ago

    I couldn’t agree more about the way that real hair wigs look compared to synthetic ones.
    I wish now that I’d bought a real hair wig and had it styled by a professional and I’d would have saved a lot of time and money trying different catalog wigs which I never thought looked like the way that they were presented in the pictures.
    I was usually dissatisfied and disappointed with the way that they looked after I got them in the mail
    I finally took the plunge and bought a real hair wig.
    Although it was expensive the results were amazing
    I couldn’t believe the difference that it made in the way that I looked.
    I took all of my synthetic wigs and donated them to the American Cancer Society.
    I’m sure that they will make someone happy to have hair
    As for me I’ve got three human hair wigs in different colors and styles
    Depending on how I feel determines which one I wear
    Thank you for posting your post on your hair.
    It was fun reading about your experience with finding out about the way that human hair made you look

  7. Stephanie Stanek 9 months ago

    I totally concur that human hair wigs look so real compared to synthetic and I also own human blend wigs which are more expensive than synthetic but less expensive than human hair. My favorite wig seems to garner a lot of attention and several times, I have women tell me how beautiful my hair. You feel so confident when you have the right hair. It is amazing! Thanks Evie for the wonderful article.

  8. Leonara 9 months ago

    Evie,
    What a wonderful, well written article.
    I guess I am in one of the stages of trying different hair styles (wigs). Of course my first style was shoulder length hair… Very feminine I must admit… My next style would be a short bob… Your “field guide” is part of my CD references. Thanks again for sharing…
    Leonara

  9. Evie – what a lovely story. I have just started to delve into the world of wigs as my own hair is decent (except for the gradually increasing widow’s peak). I have only purchased inexpensive synthetic wigs to make sure I love the color style and length before I spring for something better, but I’m looking forward to the day when I can wear a real quality wig. Thanks for this wonderful story.

    Hugs,
    April

  10. Author
    Evie David Marks 9 months ago

    Wow!

    I’m so greatful for your feedback and glad to know I’m not alone in wigsporations!
    Look for more of CD Field Guide adaptations here soon.

    Sympatico!
    Evie

  11. Michelle Blocke 9 months ago

    Curious how much you budgeted for human hair wig. Outside of style which is subjective, how does one measure quality, etc.

  12. Dorothy Elizabeth 9 months ago

    I Nam fortunate in that I can simply grow my own. Now – if only I could find a style androgynous enough to wear all the time. Sigh.

    • Dorothy Elizabeth 9 months ago

      AM – NOT Nam. I HATE autocorrect!!!

  13. debbie 9 months ago

    oh yes cheap wigs do give us gurls away. Have shoulder length hair I wear in a pony tail during male mode outings. Love to curl it at times too but still enjoy a short bob or cleo wig when the mood or outfit demands it. We need good wigs that more importantly look age appropriate and fit to the shape of our faces as well

  14. Melanie-Jade 9 months ago

    It’s like everything girls, you get what you pay for, that being said, you can get some relatively inexpensive clothes from overseas in places such as the Asian reigon via sites such as eBay
    But where wigs are concerned definately go for human hair wigs and be sure to care for them as per the manufacturers directions , and personally when it comes to purchasing your wig, I prefer to shop locally if you can afford to . One thing I have noticed, it is certainly a very expensive exercise to bring out your inner happiness

  15. dizzylizzy lawson 6 months ago

    sounds like fun glad you got the chance to feel great at the mall in your pic you look so pretty still working on my look got a long way to go good luck always Evie you go girl

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