How do you explain this thing that compels us to dress in female clothes? How do you explain how relaxed you are when you dress? Don’t worry I’m not going to try to explain it because I don’t know either. What I do know is I have thrown away so many clothes thinking that I can cure this urge and that a new partner or just plain positive thinking will get rid of this persona. We all know it won’t go away.
There are too many variations of crossdressing to discuss in a simple article. And I’m not looking for the Noble Peace Prize for solving it either. I love to wear women’s clothes. I’m a tranny, crossdresser, transvestite, or maybe I’m just ‘My Second Me.’ What upsets me now is I have done this on my own for so long. Thankfully, things do move on. Thank God for the internet, now I don’t have to pay a fortune for crossdressing magazines. When I was younger, I spent a small fortune buying fetish magazines dedicated to crossdressing.
My first marriage did not break up because of my dressing. It was not hidden, but it was not shared. ‘My Second Me’ or, rather my dresses, lived in a suitcase in the loft and we didn’t discuss it. When the marriage hit the rocks, it did come up in conversation at marriage counselling. I explained that when I dressed, I was able to solve problems and completely relax. The counsellor said to my wife that she should perhaps try sharing it. She suggested we buy satin pyjamas for me to wear, but she refused. It certainly was not helpful when the female counsellor said “Well, to be honest, I’m actually jealous of you having that comfort. I wish I had something like that to help me relax.’’
My second wife liked my dressing in the beginning: it was kinky, it added spice and she liked to be in control. She admitted that she was bisexual when she was younger. This seemed to help in a strange way. Then we had kids and guess what? ‘My Second Me’ went back in the suitcase and up to the loft. Everything changed. She announced that the kids needed a real father, not someone who wore women’s clothes. This was ironic because she really loved me when I was dressed and we shared those kinky evenings together.
I had a female friend that I met at work 9 years ago. I have no idea why, but one day I decided to tell her about my dressing over a coffee. She is American and highly intelligent. Her reaction blew me away. She said, ‘Ok, so you like to dress in women’s clothes?’ I was lost for words for the first time ever. I found that I didn’t have to explain myself to her. I don’t know why, but she understood.
Two years ago, I was talking to a friend. He said he had been writing adult stories and publishing them on the internet. He said he did it for relaxation when his marriage broke up. We discussed it at great length, and he told me he was now earning good money by publishing his stories. It was ironic because my second marriage had just failed. I told my American friend about the stories he was writing and she said I would be good at it and should try doing one. So I did and sent it to my friend and he loved it. As a result, I am now writing crossdressing stories on the internet and have a small fan base. How funny is that?
So maybe things really do happen for a reason. My American friend is now my partner. She loves when I dress and it all feels like it’s just normal. It’s sad that it’s taken so long to finally be free.
Ladies, accept your other self. The thing is you’re dead for a very long time. Don’t get to 65 and have regrets. As soon as you accept your other self, you will be so much happier.