You have heard this story before; most of you have lived one very similar. There’s not much here that is unique, except for the fact that it’s mine, and I would like to share it with you.

I was the younger sibling, just my older sister and I. We were 2 ½ years apart, but it always seemed like more. During my adolescence in the early 1960’s, she was enrolled in a dancing class. Every year they had a recital where they were in costume. The costumes were satin, lace and frilly, and I wondered what it felt like to wear them. Eventually an opportunity arose for me to find out, and a cross dresser was born. The first time I wore a dress was shortly after big sister had her confirmation in our church. I would have been 10 years old at the time. I was amazed watching my sister in her pretty white dress, and once again I wondered how it would feel to wear her outfit. Once I got the chance, I wore that dress along with all the appropriate undergarments.

As luck would have it, the house I grew up in had a laundry chute, and all the family clothes ended up in a sack that was hung from the ceiling in the basement. Since I hung out down there anyway, I availed myself of the chance to gather up a bra, panties and slip for a quick thrill. This coupled with occasionally borrowing things from my sister was bound to get me busted eventually. I’ll never forget my mother walking in on me while I was wearing one of my sister’s slips and asking; “Are you all there?” I think mom and dad were clueless about what should be done. Every so often I would be caught with a piece of clothing left where it should not be, but little was ever said. I was sent to the family doctor once, but he seemed as clueless as my parents. So life went on like that until I moved out on my own.

The laundry room was a fantastic place to score a pair of panties now and again. Surely no other cross dresser on earth was ever a panty thief (yeah, right). I got my first bra of my own this way, but we all know you can only walk around in a bra and panties for just so long before you want something more to go with them. I eventually got married and had some access to her clothes when I was home alone, but I really wanted clothes of my own. I decided to stop at my friendly neighborhood Sears store and buy a slip as a “gift for my wife.” That was embarrassing enough; I’m sure the clerk figured out that was a line of nonsense. I kept buying “gifts for my wife” for awhile. Dresses, underwear, lingerie, you name it. By the time my first marriage fell apart I had a collection of clothing that would rival what most cis girls own.

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Next came the great purge. I was getting serious with wife number two and decided I was going to go straight. I chucked everything I had in the way of female clothing, along with my cat and an old jukebox that I salvaged when my parents closed their bar business. I sure do miss that cat. I stayed married the second time for a whole year and a half before she started seeing a co worker. I might have got into her clothes a few times along the way, but that had nothing to do with our break up.

It wasn’t long before I had a live in girlfriend who coincidentally wore the same dress size as I did. I don’t think either one of them knew what I was doing when they weren’t home. Once I settled down with wife number three, I decided it was time to get a few things of my own again. Nothing major, just some assorted underwear and a slip or two. I purged those along the way, and next thing I knew that marriage was falling apart as well. So I did what any red blooded cross dresser would do and started a new collection.

I had sworn off the idea of ever getting married again, sort of like three strikes and you’re out. All that changed in one day when I finally met the love of my life. It felt like I was living a fairy tale. I thought sure I had blown that one too when she found a few girly things I had accidentally left in a corner of our closet instead of hiding them in my car. I purged these items, and swore off cross dressing. For the next 21 years I abstained from dressing. Sure, I had a fantasy or two along the way, but I did not dress for that entire time.

Fast forward to the fall of 2022, and I found Crossdresser Heaven. While I was not actively participating, I enjoyed reading the stories of those who were dressing. That enjoyment turned into envy. I had thought about telling my wife (yep, still married to number 4) but the moment never came around. I thought sure she would figure it out when I started buying nylon boxer shorts, but it never dawned on her. Finally, on the day after Valentine’s Day 2024, I mustered the courage to come out to my wife. I told her I had been on CDH, and was uncomfortable with the idea of going the rest of my life without dressing. She didn’t exactly get her arms around the idea from the start, but we managed to talk through it. It wasn’t long before I was shopping. My dearest gave me some panties she bought that didn’t fit her and a couple old bras and pairs of pantyhose. Next thing I did was take advantage of online shopping. My collection of feminine clothing is almost back to where it was before the great purge. As for the better half, she has gradually become more supportive of my dressing and even offers advice. I am so grateful to have such a wonderful woman in my life.

I hope to be able to encourage my sisters at CDH that are still in the closet with my story. There is no easy way to have this kind of discussion with someone you love. All it takes is some brutal honesty. Be honest with your loved one and be honest with yourself. We are all individuals with masculine and feminine personality traits. If you take away your feminine traits you become a different person from the one your significant other loves.

I wish you all the best, and hope you find the contentment and support that I have been fortunate to have in my life.

Best wishes





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    Peggy Sue Williams
    Famed Member
    13 days ago

    Great life story, Julia! Oh yes, what would we young boys have done in the late 1950s & 1960s without the Sears Roebuck & Co catalog? Most of my part time job money went into buying female clothing, and much of it went to Sears. Delivery choices were either via Parcel Post (remember that?) or delivered for free directly to a local Sears store. Privacy from other nosey family members was ensured when delivered to a Sears store, except when that one loud-mouth Sears clerk was on duty and insisted on reading my list of ordered items out loud for… Read more »

    Alli Katz
    Active Member
    13 days ago

    As you say Julia, it is a story familiar to so many of us. What we go through!

    13 days ago

    OMG, I wish I had found this site years ago!
    All the same good (but scary) feelings about venturing out to build my wardrobe. And all the same sad feelings of purging all that hard work (many times.)

    Being married (which I DO NOT regret) definitely complicates my feminine life. I embrace it whenever possible. What affirms me but also really frustrates me is, being out in public as male but knowing I’d feel like I was walking on air if I was dressed.

    Thank you sisters for sharing your stories, WE CAN DO THIS!


    Angela Booth
    Trusted Member
    10 days ago

    What it comes down to Julia is that despite the ups and downs, purges and rebuying, it was meant to be. Glad you have found your happy place…

    Trusted Member
    10 days ago

    Julia this really is a touching story, we all have been through it I think but to read yours in black and white and ueereally special. Honesty with loved ones is a huge step but to me the person we all need to be honest with is the person in the mirror.

    Dorothy Brinson
    Active Member
    9 days ago

    Beautiful story Julia, I know cross dressing in the 60’s was taboo. I would play dress up with my sister. My mom would get so angry with me. Boy’s don’t wear girls clothes. I couldn’t help myself. I loved the way the silky clothing felt against my skin. I am on wife #3. We have been together for 35 years and married for 32 years. My wife loves me and supports my cross dressing. I even got to go shopping at David’s Bridals for my 50th birthday and buy a Wedding Dress. What a wonderful birthday. I could not match… Read more »

    Chanel Dubois
    Active Member
    3 days ago

    Such a wonderful story, thank you Julia.

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