I wanted share my storyn  Some of what is to follow might be upsetting but there is a happy ending …

I was born August, 1970 in Manchester, England to older parents. I was an only child, had half-brothers and sisters from my parent’s previous marriages, but they didn’t live with us as they were much older. My father ran his own business. I was brought up in an affluent part of Cheshire called Hale. The area was nice, but it was a lonely as I had no siblings around and only a few friends.

My mother had a violent temper, brought on because my father was a womanizer who stayed out until the early hours of the morning. I was subjected to their reoccurring arguments. I went to school with bags under my eyes over the lack of sleep and the worry it caused me. My mother was not maternal by any means.  I had to make my own breakfast and cross three busy main roads at the age of six. It was a tough life, even though I lived in a nice area. At times, my mother would totally lose it and beat me with a high heel shoe or anything else she could get her hands on. I continued to show her love and affection in return.  I didn’t know any better.

My parents split up in the early 1980’s after he told her that he didn’t love her any more (I don’t think he ever did.) The feelings of emptiness and rejection grew stronger inside me. I couldn’t escape the thoughts of why this was happening.

My mother and I lived in Altrincham, Cheshire for a few years, where things calmed down. She met a man who lived some distance away in Bolton, Lancashire. Eventually, we moved there and I had to start at another school. I found it hard to mix with the others because of joining half-way through the third year and because I spoke differently as I didn’t have a Lancashire accent.

It was during this time I began to wear women’s clothing. I tried on a pair of my mother’s panties, but I didn’t fully understand what I was doing and why it felt good. With the supply of available clothes very limited, I didn’t often get the opportunity wear girls clothes. After my mother broke up with the man from Bolton, I once more found myself moving, this time to Great Sankey in Warrington, Cheshire. It also meant another school. I attended three different secondary schools, and because of our moving, my education was inconsistent and difficult. This is where my story becomes interesting…….

After moving to Great Sankey in Warrington, we lived in a row of four terraced houses. Living next door to us was a very beautiful woman and lovely man, both of whom I got to know very well. I was 15 at the time, and my feelings of wanting to be a part-time female were getting stronger. It was made worse by the beautiful woman next door, who happened to be from Finland. I had no female clothing I could wear; my mother’s knickers were too big for me. I couldn’t buy them from the shops without money or courage. I had to do something. I have never done it since, and I regret doing it, but I took something off a washing line! It was the woman’s underskirt from next door, and I cherished it for many years to follow. Her husband came round and informed us that his wife was missing some clothes off the washing line, (I only took one.) My mother found it quite amusing that there was a knicker-pincher about. I kept quiet because the humiliation would have been worse than the confession.

Over the next several years, I managed to scrape together a few items of female clothing to wear every now and then. I frequently wore the underskirt in bed.  It just felt so silky and the fact it had belonged to such a pretty woman made it that much better. I believe that my mother never knew about my crossdressing. She passed four years ago, and I am not aware that she had any idea.

By the time I was 30, my crossdressing had really taken hold of me. I moved out on my own and met a nice woman who is now my wife. When we first met, I didn’t confide in her about my crossdressing.  It’s not really a normal topic of conversation, is it? Trying to find time for crossdressing became difficult because she had two young sons at the time who needed lots of care and attention. I was restricted to wearing women’s clothing only at night and hidden under my pajamas. As time went by, my frustrations built up because of my desire to be female. I was supposed to be the man, responsible for holding everything together in the family. The boys grew up and became independent teenagers. I had time to spend on my own, upstairs in the bedroom, where I could dress up and be reasonably safe from being caught. My female clothes were still very basic. I was getting bored of them, as you might imagine, wearing the same ones for years.

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It happened five months ago, as I felt I couldn’t keep holding back the stress of keeping my secret. The deceit, the hiding, the wanting, the needing, all became too much for me so I confessed to my wife. I told her what had been going on all these years and what my feelings were. Surprisingly, she wasn’t the least bit amazed, saying that she’d suspected something. It had been the little things, various items of her clothing being moved or missing altogether.

My story, as it stands now, isn’t perfect but it is a start. My wife now knows and she is reasonably agreeable for me to pursue my interests, within reason. She’s not willing for it to become an obsession but she is happy to interact with me every so often. I tend to model myself more as a girl at age 16 rather than a woman my age. I have a superb wardrobe with lots of pretty clothes – short skirts, tights, jumpers, leggings, pajamas, etc., all the things I could only dream of having a few years ago. I’m currently experimenting with make-up (with varying degrees of success.) I have three beautiful, long blonde wigs that I cherish and properly look after.

My road into crossdressing has been a rocky one. It had been mostly done in secret and in fear of being caught, up to recently opening up about my feelings and sharing them with my partner. There is still much to be done. I need to show my wife that I still love and cherish her, as I did when we first met. For me, the biggest lesson I’ve learned has been to stop selfishly thinking of only myself. My wife and kids come first and they always will. Whether Fiona continues to be as free as she is now or is once again constrained, I am and always will be a crossdresser for life.

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hi. I have been a long term cross dresser but ive only recently admitted it to my wife. I like to dress up as a youngish woman and enjoy wearing pretty clothes and smelling nice. Short skirts are my favourite! it would be nice to chat to like-minded people like myself as its such a difficult subject to broach with non cross dressers. I consider myself a friendly, easy going person that cares about others and the members on this site. please dont hesitate to send a friends request if you wish, also you can message me anytime if you have a problem, need advice and i'll do my best to help.I would enjoy to chat sometime and make new friends. I have recently passed my Full Advanced Makeup and beauty course gaining a HND in the subject. In November last year, i became a radio presenter at an online transgender radio station here in the UK.

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Mandy Cross
2 years ago

A heart felt article Fiona, sad in parts and can certainly relate to parts of it. Thanks for sharing this, it certainly sounds like you have had a rocky road but are now strong in your conviction of who you really are, some of us never find that peace, I’m glad you are getting there. Mx

Active Member
2 years ago

Thank you Fiona for sharing your journey with its ups and downs. I understand it must have been hard to return to some of those memories. I’ve been writing down Marianne’s memoirs, but they are much to long to publish here.

skippy1965 Cynthia
Trusted Member
2 years ago

Lovely article, Fiona, and congrats to you and others whose spouses accept or at least tolerate heir dressing. My ex did not but we are still amicable 13 years after the divorce. Thanks for sharing your story!

Jessica Rabbit
2 years ago

Thank you for your story Fiona, although my story was not the same as yours, I can definitely relate to the last part. But I think it’s important for us to each get our stories out there (I’ll post mine one day) as it’s these stories that made me feel that I’m not alone, that it’s OK to be the way I am and it shouldn’t be something to be ashamed of. As for worrying about your femme age, don’t limit your happiness because of a ‘you shouldn’t be wearing that thinking’ I think we all have had enough of… Read more »

Stephanie Rae
2 years ago
Reply to  Fiona-Ann Moss

I do not find your interest in teen girl clothes strange. That age has a lot of fun flirty girly clothes, and it’s an experience I would wager most of us missed out on. So I get it. Thanks for sharing your story ❤️

Torry Burns
2 years ago

We all have different stories. My crossdressing started as an expression of my homosexuality. Now a lot of gays don’t like that type of confession for they want to say your not gay if you want to dress up and act like a womanl Bullshit! All crossdressers are not that way but I am. That’s part of my story.

Karl Schmidt
2 years ago

Thank you for sharing your story. It is encouraging to hear that others have had the courage and strength to openly accept who they are.

Mark Chadwick
2 years ago

That lovely story Fiona about crossdressing and I love your story and me same like to dressed up woman clothes sometime I sneaked my mum wardrobe to get knickers, tight and dress to wearing it’s was great and I’m enjoy my mum clothes then I put all backto wardrobe

Natalie Elaine
2 years ago

Such a wonderful story of your life to date filled with so much. I hope you go from strength to strength and find a level of acceptance with you wife that is so hard to achieve.

Brianna Rain
Active Member
2 years ago

Hi, Fiona. Thanks for sharing this.


Jasmine Lily
2 years ago

Thanks for sharing.
M almost 32 and yet to start dressing up as I want. So I can relate.
M happy that you have your own clothes.
Wish you all the very best.

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