My experience at the 2022 Keystone Conference (March 23-26, officially) in Harrisburg, PA was the single-most defining period of my life, other than my relationship with Jesus Christ, my marriage, and the birth and marriage of our daughter. This was a first for me in several ways: first overland trip en femme, first hotel stay en femme, first TG/CD conference, first time with no guy clothes as a “safety net”, first time presenting a workshop related to my faith and the LGBTQ community, and first time interacting with more than a dozen fellow trans people before.
I started preparing at the end of the 2021, getting new outfits, shoes, and jewelry. The time spent on these tasks kept me from thinking about it too much and talking myself out of going. My choice of gown arrived, and I was disappointed to find it looked too small to even bother trying on. I decided to add it to several other items I was bringing to donate at the consignment shop. I ordered two other possibilities, but they didn’t look quite as well as the original one. Oh well, I wasn’t going there to impress anyone; I was going to learn about what it means to be trans and how to manage my transition in a way that will be best for me.
I was relieved to find my Trans Theology workshop which I’d agreed to help Marcie Rose with was not until Friday morning at 9 AM. So I signed up to volunteer putting all the attendees’ packets together from 1 to 3:30 Tuesday afternoon. Tuesday morning, I was up early and got ready in a relaxed fashion. I dressed for travel – a cute top, sweater shrug, jeans, and pull-on sneakers. Of course full makeup including false eyelashes. It’s about a 4-hour drive to Harrisburg and traffic was light. I had a very pleasant drive but had to use the ladies’ room at a service plaza about 2-1/2 hours along. Again, I was fortunate the building wasn’t busy. There was a lady just finishing up drying her hands as I walked in. I smiled and went into a stall to do what I had to do. As I was leaving after I’d also washed my hands and fixed my hair, two or three women came in together and I just kind of looked down as I went around the partition to leave. No reactions, no problems.
As I arrived at the hotel around noon, I started to get butterflies. I should have been terrified and not gotten out of the car, but I was excited to see everyone and immerse myself in femininity for the next several days. The staff at registration was super sweet and they had a room available early! So, I moved my stuff in before the volunteer work at 1 PM. I went to the meeting room and joined about a dozen others collating the various flyers, business cards, and the program brochure that went into a manila envelope. As these were being assembled, some of us took the ID badges and individual meal coupons and added these. Finally, we took each packet and arranged them alphabetically. It was a very fun environment, and I even spotted my own packet near the end and set it aside.
Wednesday was full, with workshops and a trip to the nail salon. I got an email from Marcie, my Friday co-presenter, that they had positive COVID at home and they couldn’t come. Now I was really beginning to feel a bit nervous! But the workshops are not a formal kind of event. It was all very laid back and casual. I met another CDH member at dinner who I wanted to see. Roberta Broussard is from Baton Rouge. My wife grew up west of there and is an LSU grad. We had a wonderful meal, but when it was time to settle the bills, Roberta was shocked to find her wallet with all her cash and credit cards missing! I paid for her dinner, we asked around, checked the bus where we sat, but came up empty. When we got back to the hotel, she was relieved to find the front desk had it. We told them what happened, and the clerks were like “aww that’s so sweet” for my paying. But that’s just how we roll, right?
Thursday was more workshop time; I tried to link up with some others I knew for lunch but didn’t locate them. I found a seat next to a nice-looking woman who I took to be an attendee. I saw her badge and realized it was Amanda Jette Knox, the Saturday lunch keynote speaker! We had a great time talking about our respective marriages and families. I hadn’t read her book nor was familiar with her story. I’m glad I wasn’t – I probably would have been too intimidated to chat! She was kind enough to share a selfie (which is on this article banner). More on Amanda later.
I went to one workshop that afternoon, then back to my room to prep for my workshop Friday morning. Dinner was at the Rubicon in downtown Harrisburg. A very nice place I’d like to go back to sometime. Great atmosphere and great conversation. Just what I needed! When I got back to the hotel, I texted my daughter in Maryland. I asked if we could do brunch on Sunday before I drove home on Sunday. Not only did she want to, but she also agreed to come all the way up to Harrisburg! She knew I didn’t have “dad clothes” and it wouldn’t matter a bit.
Friday morning – my big day! I got dressed early and took my stuff down to set up for the workshop. I wore a modest dress, white with a black flower print on the bottom and solid black top half, knee length and appropriate. We had about 15 people attend and I had them pull the chairs in closer for intimacy. At least two of the attendees knew as much about the subject of trans people being cast out by the conservative Christians with the “clobber passages” many of us know by heart. It was a great meeting. The next session was about finding inner calm through meditation and visualization – perfect!
Later in the day, I was going back to my room, a man came out of his room, and we almost bumped into one another. As I stopped, he said how pretty I was, and could he buy me a drink sometime? I continued walking and pivoted around playfully saying I was very flattered, but my wife might not appreciate it much! Another first – being hit on by a guy in my hotel hallway!
I attended one more workshop that afternoon, and thought I’d try on my first-choice gown before I donated it. It had a lot more stretch than I thought and it fit! Later, I went to dinner at Carley’s Restaurant. This was my favorite spot of the week. Great food, wonderful service, and the best Manhattans in the state, I’m told. I got to chat a lot with Melanie Elizabeth (author of “24 Hours of Keystone, a First-Timers Experience” here on CDH).
Saturday was the final workshop day, then lunch where Amanda Knox spoke. She had a tough time growing up (to put it mildly) and was bullied severely. She eventually met her future husband, had three kids, and was on the way to a “normal” family life. Within the space of two years, her 11-year-old and then her spouse came out as trans. Her book “Love Lives Here” tells how they coped with two transwomen in one family. It’s inspiring, heart-rending, and one of the best books I’ve ever read! I was fortunate to get a signed copy after her talk. I think I went to one last workshop and then upstairs to rest and dress for the Gala dinner!
I never saw so much sparkle and sequins with nary a female voice in my life! Everyone was dressed to the nines. I signed up for a “studio” photoshoot by Cassandra Storm after dinner and took some of my own photos while waiting for the doors to open. I was looking forward to finally eating with Carole, Cyn, and the others, but there weren’t enough seats so I found one at another table nearby. By chance, I sat next to Savannah Hauk and we had a nice chat during the dinner. I went to my photoshoot afterwards and hung around the lobby for a bit. Then Cinderella got back into her carriage (well, elevator) and left the ball.
Sunday was bright and windy. I packed my car and got checked out in time to relax in the hotel lobby for a bit before my daughter arrived. She’d seen a few pictures of me but hadn’t met Brielle face-to-face yet. She was more nervous than I – afraid to call me “Dad” or the wrong pronoun. I told her how loose the week had been and that all the restaurants nearby were well-used to TGs and CDs. We had a lovely early lunch and talked for a couple of hours, but soon, it was time for me to point my car West and head home. I drove straight through and pulled into our garage as quietly as I’d left.
I can’t wait for the next time!
Thank you for taking the time to read my article! Now please feel free to either leave a response to my article or one or more of the three questions I’ve posed to you below:
1. Do you think you would want to go to a major event like Keystone? What are the things that would stop you?
2. If you have been or are planning to go to a major event, do you have the support of your SO? Have/will they go with you?
3. Do you have opportunities to go out in public in girl mode and if so, where do you usually go and what do you usually like to wear?
Sincerely, Brielle
More Articles by Brielle
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Brielle
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- Coming Out to My Daughter as Trans - March 17, 2022
Hi Brielle, Wonderful account of the week’s activities. To answer your questions: 1) I would love to attend Keystone, DCR, Esprit or some other conference (I did attend SCC, a few years ago), but I really can’t miss work. Hard to find someone to fill in for me. Besides, I have to pay the bills. 2) My wife would not, at all, be happy if I attended one. Nothing I could say would justify the expense to her. She’s gone with me to other CD/TG events & wasn’t one bit comfortable. 3) Yes, I go out at least once a… Read more »
Oh, Cyn and Roxxy! Roxxy’s wife was at Keystone – a great lady! I think we share the same style, then – at least that is the look I aspire to (giggle). My wife mulled over going before January, but was a hard no and won’t go with me to any events. It’s so nice to have local groups, isn’t it? I would go mad transitioning in near-isolation. I haven’t had the nerve to do clubwear for our outings. But the Blue Moon is a dive bar and I’d be mistaken for the drag performers, for sure (giggles). So you… Read more »
I guess I didn’t realize that Roxxy was married. Roxxy never mentions her. I was under the impression that Roxxy was divorced. I like that I have other girls to hang out with in our groups, but I’d love to find a group that was more lively. Too much sitting & talking. I’d rather be doing & get my “girl” on. I live in Florida. Cyn was here for a visit, but I’m originally from the Mid-Atlantic area. Jealous that you have that relationship with your daughters. I have three daughters (all girls ). I would love to do… Read more »
Oopsie – different gurl I think. I have the one daughter and her wife (so she is a daughter, I guess!). They are totally okay with my changes, but are concerned about my wife and I and my personal safety. It is fun to go out with ouir local group, but there isn’t a lot of other entertainment at the Blue Moon, so it can be pretty tame. There probably are a couple of clubs in that part of the city that would be more “exciting” I’m sure. I’ve never had a makeover at all. I’d love to book with… Read more »
Hi Brielle, (from all the way “Down Under”) 1. Do you think you would want to go to a major event like Keystone? What are the things that would stop you? I’ve been to 3. “Fantazia Fair,” Provincetown USA early 90’s.. Combined with a business trip. Had a health fright on day 2 had to leave. 2014 Seahorse Society Ball Sydney NSW, and “Transformal 17”, (2017) at Katoomba up in the Blue Mountains west of Sydney See https://www.crossdresserheaven.com/transformal-was-great-but-i-wont-be-going-back/ 2. If you have been or are planning to go to a major event, do you have the support of your SO?… Read more »
I’ve been to Bristol on business a couple of times and London for that and vacay. Love it there – if it were possible to work and survive in southern England, I’d be on the first flight out!
Thanks and interesting to hear of your trips “down under” – BTW, Australia and NZ are on my bucket list, but not likely unless I win a lottery.
Hugs,
Brie
Hi Brielle, I too drove to Keystone, but it was 1400 miles for me, so it added 3 days of driving, En femme, each way. It was my first of a lot of things too. I had absolutely no issues or problems with hotels, gas stations rest rooms or eating out. That trip allowed me to just enjoy my feminine self, it was as if I was any other woman. Thanks again for coming to my rescue at dinner and paying for mine. I think I was so enveloped in the pink fog, I got a little ditsy and walked… Read more »
No worries! It made a cute story – especially how the hotel staff reacted. I’m not sure I’d have had the nerve to drive so far en femme, but I won’t have any options come January 1!
Thanks, Roberta!
Brie
What happens Jan 1 ?
I’m officially socially and (hopefully) legally female then! Brielle will be in the fore and the sad guy I was will be in the background. He always liked it there anyway (giggles).
With the progress I’m already making and my need to go full-time, I think it will be the perfect date to start my second life.
Wow, you are sure moving along. I like the way that you are doing it. Not too fast but steady. I am so happy for you.
Thank you, GF! Part of me wants to socially transition ASAP, but if I rush, I may trigger worse dysphoria. BTW, just got blood work and my Estradiol has gone from 23 originally to 44 now. My potassium is slightly over the high limit, so I will speed up the orchiectomy timing so I can get off the spironolactone that has driven the increase. I won’t lie – I’d like to be full-time today!
Hi Brielle: I was so encouraged to read your report on attending the conference. I was just as blessed by the fact that you have your priorities correct in naming Jesus Christ above all else in your life. I understand the ‘guilt’ some Christians try to burden trans persons with based on Deuteronomy 22:5 however they both misunderstand the context of it, as well as the fact that it no longer is applicable to New Testament Christians. People fail to keep scriptures within the context of the time it was written, the persons it was directed to and the original… Read more »
Hi Gracie, yes I beat myself up for decades, even doubting my original salvation at age 8. The Accuser made me think I must have missed something or wasn’t sincerely wanting to walk with Jesus, or I wouldn’t have kept carrying the feelings of being a woman inside. Now that we know how complex the gene structure and hormone development is, it makes sense to me now. And, after I decided I would pursue transitioning, my prayers changed from “Fix me, God” to “Use me, God”. And all these doors flew open and chances to share my testimony just flooded… Read more »
Believe Deuteronomy also prohibits shell fish.
As a newbie attended Southern Comfort which was very worthwhile.
At that time I also had all of the fears-using the ladies room, contact with civilians etc. Now-when I go out I do not even think about it anymore. Slip my mental transmission in to I am a woman and go from there.
I do have a strong bias about the way many now dress and refuse to conform. Usually over dressed and as a result get many compliments from women. Restrain myself from saying “so why did you give up?”
I keep trying to put a crying-laughing emoji, but it won’t do it. I will have to remember that line if someone makes a snarky comment on how I’m overdressed!
Hi Brielle. Did I see you at the CDH meet and greet? I enjoyed the description of your experience. This was my third Keystone. I agree that it is a wonderful adventure with so many supportive girls and staff. I attended several seminars including, Transgender in Business, which was run by a friend of mine. In August the Mid-Atlantic Trans Community holds a wellness conference in Philadelphia addressing Transgender health issues and transformation. It is very informative and another chance to express your femininity. You are so lucky to have a somewhat supportive spouse. My wife would not accept me… Read more »
Oh snap, i forgot to mention the meet and greet! I was there, but sat in the couch area since my shoes were not being kind to my feet that afternoon! I saw the Philly event, but I wouldn’t have the time or funds to go to another conference so soon. Plus, I’m getting dental implants in August – they can angle the posts outward a little, and give me a wider upper arch smile. Plus they know I’m trans,so the bridge will be ordered for a female. I’m hoping the wider upper arch will add some width to my… Read more »
Hi Brie. I hope your medical procedures come out fine. Seems like you’re doing your best to be and appear more feminine. Good luck. I was sad to read of your marital situation. I hope you can remain friends and that she will come to realize and love the true you. Always stay the lovely person you are.
Hugs to you
Janus
Thank you Janice. I don’t feel like I’m trying to “outdo” cis women or anyone here. We all need to be true to ourselves, whether it be underdressing, role-play only with our SOs, full-on crossdressing, HRT, or GRS. It’s all valid and fine so long as one is authentic and not trying to hurt anyone else. On a lighter note, if I didn’t need confirmation about my goals, I got bllod work ahead of seeing my endo this week. My potassium level is slightly too high from the spironolactone. I couldn’t increase the dosage and I wanted to drive the… Read more »
Oh Brielle,
I can only imagine your emotions during that conference girl! Way to keep your composure and meet with your daughter.
I would love to chat sometime as I am a practicing Catholic and converted from Methodism after I met my wife a cradle Catholic.
I struggle with my faith and my transition constantly. Thanks for sharing your story with us at CDH!
I also would love to go to such a conference
Hugs,
Hope
Hi Hope, I’ll give you an exclusive – I’m going to change my name legally later this year, and I’ve settled on Brielle Hope S—- (last name still private until I’ve come out to everyone close to me. So, my middle name will be Hope. I want my name to speak to the hope I have in my transitioning, my future, and my God. Breille is a French, feminine extraction of Gabriel, which means the LORD is my strength, I beileve. I’ll keep my surname because I’m not erasing my past, just improving my future. I answered another member here… Read more »
Great account of your experience at Keystone. It was so nice meeting you at dinner with Melanie. Keystone is a great event. Each time I attend it I enjoy it more.
I am so happy you had a good time.
Hugs Terri
Hi Terri – thanks and I enjoyed the evening with you as well.
Hugs,
Brie
It sounds like you had lot of fun. I was planning on going to Keystone, but when registration opened, COVID was rampant and I decided not to go. I’ll try again next year. I did go to a conference a number of years ago and had a great time. My SO was working out of town and I never told her. I’m divorced now so it’s not a concern. I get out a lot. Several days a week I take a walk through my neighborhood. But I’ve also gone shopping and picked up food from restaurants en femme. I had… Read more »
Wow Alison, you are quite active. I have to admit, I’m still very timid about shopping or eating out, or walking around my complex en femme. One neighbor knows, and I’m moving in a few weeks, so not much point making it a “thing” here. Once I move in to the new place, I’ll tell the management office I’ll be using a new name by January 1, if not sooner. Still need to come out to my employer and my siblings. I did have a blast at Keystone! And I also have a local group that meets once a month… Read more »
Thanks for a great personal overview of the conference. I’m looking forward to Southern Comfort next year. Ive never had the chance to make a major event like Keystone, so your article gave me an idea of what to expect. My usual going out dress consists of women’s jeans or a skirt and a pretty top and of course my black pumps. A few accessories like earrings and my favorite pearl necklace and I’m off. Thanks again for the information.
Good luck and I hope you enjoy it! I used to live down that way and a trip to Southern Comfort may be in the cards one day!