Nikki

Sometime back, I wrote about a beautiful person who was struggling with many things. This individual has made leaps and bounds since that time. Most of you remember the articles I wrote regarding a new friend to us all. She has overcome so many fears and obstacles in such a short time; it’s incredible.

As it is said and heard many times throughout all of our lives “the proof is in the pudding.” Proving to our self and to others that when we allow our true passions to surface and face our fears smack in the face, we can hurdle the highest mountains and achieve our ultimate dreams, helping them to become our reality.

Nikki has made the ultimate sacrifices in this past two years. Some of which she is continuing to face and deal with. There is the struggle she endures with her soon to be ex-wife and children. She exerts much emotion when she speaks about her children. Their mother didn’t take the news well when she first learned that Nikki crossdressed and was gay. Nikki has suffered with pain, guilt, fear, resentment, anxiety, depression, anger, confusion, rejection, abandonment, thoughts of suicide and a host of so many more feelings.

Nikki no longer goes home to a house filled with joy, laughter, or the sounds of children playing, nor does she have a wife asking how her day was, or what’s for dinner, or to discuss the evening plan. This girl loves her family and has refused to walk away entirely. As it stands now, the only requirement to visit with her two children is that she not come home in CD or Drag form. I think at one time or another we think we know enough about something to survive. I recently turned 60, and as I write this article it’s easy to reflect back to a time when I was scared as hell to come out as gay and that I preferred to wear girl’s clothes, makeup, heels, and all the other things we wear and do to represent as who we are.

Nikki asked for my help and support a couple of years ago. I have been by her side since day one, when I went with her to explain everything to her now ex-wife. And with all she’s been through, I have witnessed a beautiful flower blossom and grow to incredible heights. She now dresses 24/7, is going to beauty school, contributes all she can to the gay community, and is living with an awesome guy (who has asked her to marry him.)

I realize that not everyone who reads this will agree with the gay lifestyle, the drag queen lifestyle, or maybe even more of what Nikki’s new life is all about. I do wish for anyone who is still struggling with this exact same issue(s) peace, courage, and a sense of camaraderie. We all need to stick together, to help and support anyone in the same or similar situation, and to be the best sisters that we are capable of being.

Little Miss Nikki has done what so many are afraid to do, live a 24/7 life being a crossdresser and now drag queen. We do a lot together such as shopping, re-painting the inside of my house, going for drinks, and so much more. I am extremely honored to call her my sister in arms.

It’s possible for anyone to achieve the same goals as Nikki and those that so many others have achieved. Thank you for reading this article, and I hope that there is at least one sentence, paragraph or thought that help you if you are struggling.

Peace and Love,

Jackie.

More Articles by Jackie

• A Poem by Jackie
• Becoming You
• Keeping It In The Family
• The World We Live In
• I Am Jackie

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Jackie

Jewelry Artisan, cocktail waitress, part time escort. at Emerald Club, Shuckeys Club

It's safe to say that my life & lifestyle" were chosen for me before I even knew the plan! My belief has always been that I / we didn't choose our lifestyle but that we were born this way. I guess there are many who don't see it this way and make many attempts to fight or change our fate. I however did listen to it and began to follow directions at a early age. For me as with so many other Cross Dressing, Drag and LGBTQ+ lifestyle began around 8 years old. Well LGBTQ+ followed soon after. My sexuality was confirmed at 15 after having my first encounter. It couldn't have been more apparent. Answers to my own questions I carried with me for some time were answered that day. My coming out debut was like a huge weight lifted from me immediately when I stood before my mother and sister's and confessed everything. All of they're suspicions were brought to life. Getting into all my sister's things, wearing they're clothes, makeup and everything else they owned I admitted to. I had always thought I was so sneaky and left no evidence. But I hadn't been. They knew all along. There was so much evidence. There were so many times and situations throughout a long course of time had added up and grown in such big numbers it had to have been impossible to keep track. For example all my posessions in my bedroom like makeup, nail polishes, hair tools, my clothing, shoe, boots, pictures and posters on my walls, etc. If anyone who had walked into my room didn't or couldn't recognize that "there was something different about Jackie" they would have been stupid and or very nieve. I always came up with an excuse as to why anyone seen what there was to see in every corner nook and cranny of my room. I did eventually begin to wonder how they really thought. I I had been put on front street and drilled with questions practically on a daily basis. I had slowly become too relaxed and stopped trying to keep everything hidden. Beside the fact that everything had become too impossible to hide. So confessing to all of what seemed at the moment to be so long actually only took minutes to admit it all to be true. Thats as short of my story I can put down to you. I have only a few regrets of mistakes I have made overtime but who I am is not one of them. Enjoy, have fun and be yourself and if you can't do that right now then pretend until you can!

Latest posts by Jackie (see all)

• A Poem by Jackie - August 25, 2022
• Becoming You - January 18, 2022
• Keeping It In The Family - October 8, 2020
• Nikki - November 27, 2019
• The World We Live In - March 22, 2019

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