A story of society and crossdressing acceptance

Dear Readers,

I know it’s been a while since we last spoke – I want to thank you for all the contributions of stories, articles and experiences you’ve shared. I’m finally back from all my travels the last six months, and will start looking through all the wonderful words you’ve shared.

To start us off, I want to share a story from Charlotte, about society, acceptance and how sometimes even those who profess to accept still have a ways to go in acceptance.

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The other day my family and I were eating out at Café Nero in Derby. We walked in and got ourselves something to eat and drink. My parents told my Sister and I to go and find a seat so that is what we did.
My Sister looked over and saw a lady and said do you think that’s a bloke?

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Being a Crossdresser myself I looked over and then looked back at my sister and said so what if she is. With that my Mum and Step Dad came over to the table my Sister had to point the lady out to them. My Mum and Step Dad as well as my Sister all know that I Crossdress although they don’t understand and some would feel uncomfortable if I were Crrossdressed in front of them. I know that they don’t understand and don’t want to see me Crossdressed, but they are of the opinion that people should be who they want to be as long as they’re not trying to inflict it on you.

My other family don’t know about me Crossdressing and that is how it will remain as they don’t understand why people do it either.

Don't laugh at me

Don’t laugh at me

Not long after I was outed to the family that know my Nan said they saw a guy dressed as a girl in Tesco’s and was saying “he looked silly” and was really ripping him apart saying “I don’t know what he thought he looked like” etc. I thought fair credit to the guy/girl as they are expressing themselves without
fear of judgment or being judged and that is how ideally it should be.

The second time my Nan and this time my Mum would bring the subject up as when they went out to some National Trust house. In the grounds they were holding the Bearded Theory Festival.

Nature Day 3

There was a guy in a dress with a beard who fell under the scrutiny of my Nan and my Mum. My Nan being an oldie feels that people that are Gay, Lesbian, Crossdressers etc shouldn’t show it or “Flaunt it” as she says. I’m not gay myself but I think as my parents say what does it matter as long as you’re not trying to push someone into doing or being something they’re not then it’s fine.

Getting back to the original Café Nero experience and this is where the other experiences that the others have had ties in with all this; the person who was Crossdressed at Café Nero was not causing any trouble and was minding their own business so why did my family have to make remarks at this experience of seeing them?

My Step Dad looked over once and then kept on looking over even though after the first comment he made it seem clear that he disapproved and was of disgust of the lady who had come out Crossdressed. The lady after all was only sat minding her own business relaxing in the Café on her computer. I will admit I looked over a couple of times because it is the first time I have seen anyone brave enough to go out Crossdressed; and it is the first time other than myself in the mirror that I’ve been face to face another Crossdresser.

I was proud to see that the lady didn’t even react to us looking over but then I guess that is how you deal with any unwanted attention that you are receiving.

Why do people they say they don’t mind people being themselves when they comment about them when the person who is different isn’t doing anything to the onlooker? Perhaps people who wish to comment in a negative way should stop, think then if the feeling is still negative either go away and educate themselves, ask the person for the information e.g. why do you Crossdress etc or better still remain silent.


P.S. Stay tuned for a fabulous competition that is coming soon!


More Articles by Vanessa Law

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I’m passionate about creating a safe space for everyone in the transgender community to find laughter and friendship on their journey. I completed my physical transition in 2011 and through it I lost everything, and gained everything. I am blessed that I was forced to gaze inward and embark on the journey to discover and live my authentic self. My deepest wish is that all who wander here may find peace, happiness and freedom.

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elisas michelle
elisas michelle
10 years ago

As a crossdresser girl,who wants to develop more confidence in going out in public as a woman.I can totally relate to the difficulties other girls face,I share ahouse with an older brother and sister,who are not at all sympathetic to anyone who believes in an alternative lifestyle!whenever i go to a Club,or meet other “girl",always have toleave the house after midnight,when everybod is either asleepor watching television.would love to see a world where i could freely dress at anytime, and without hassles!!

10 years ago

I cross dress, I love doing it, I am not Tough, but I am Sensitive, I have been cross dressing most of my life, I believe I might be a bit sissified and a bit of a girly girl, I always get turned on and absolutely don’t like my guy type clothes, but my family and friends would, hate and disown me , if they ever found, right now I am wearing little girl satin panties, ultra shinny suntan footed, tight fitting tights, a pink and white little girl’s bra, a very shinny dark brown and tight fitting and lovely… Read more »

lucinda' class='avatar avatar-64 photo' height='64' width='64' />
10 years ago

its a shame that other people redicule cross dressers that are brave to come out of the closet and be them shelvs. what is so wrong with dressing up like a woman or girl? woman do it daily and they are not rediculed about the way they dress! i am a closet cross dresser and my wife knows of it and my daughter does also, but she only seen me 1 time. not any other time when i do dress up. i love the feeling of female clothing, the look of being pretty and respecting woman on how long it… Read more »

Lucinda' class='avatar avatar-64 photo' height='64' width='64' />
9 years ago
Reply to  lucinda

Yes it is a shame on people reticule us cross dressers, they should either comment on how pretty we look, if they don’t have something nice to say to us , then they should just keep their mouth shut and keep walking. There is real woman who dress up male clothing and nothing is said to them. Society needs to except the new tread of generation of cross dressing. There is nothing wrong with men wearing female attire.its all about showing a new designer clothing, who said dresses or skirts we for females? It’s just a material to cover the… Read more »

10 years ago

Regarding the statement in the article “I was proud to see that the lady didn’t even react to us looking over but then I guess that is how you deal with any unwanted attention that you are receiving." I am a trans-andro (trangender androgyne) and wear a mixture of “male" and “female" clothing on a daily basis, both at home and in public. I wear skirts and tights openly in public, often with either a T-shirt or male fashion collared shirt, or else wear up to 3″ heels with boot cut jeans (male or female) and either a male shirt… Read more »

Jane don' class='avatar avatar-64 photo' height='64' width='64' />
Jane don
9 years ago
Reply to  Gr8Legz

Perfect–just perfect

Lucinda' class='avatar avatar-64 photo' height='64' width='64' />
9 years ago
Reply to  Jane don

It’s great that you dress up, it’s all about who we are and feel. We dress to feel more comfortable. It’s all about showing a new trend of designer wear. Good for you on having a supportive partner. I do have a partner how lets me dress up but at times does not like to see me all dressed up pretty. I feel more human and happy.

Lynne' class='avatar avatar-64 photo' height='64' width='64' />
8 years ago

Hi girls I have been dressing for years but only recently have I been getting serious about it again.I had open heart surgery about a year and a half ago and they said it would affect me emotionally ,did it ever I would find myself crying all the time and also embracing my feminine self like never before .Words like adorable and gorgeous came creeping into my vocabulary.For example I like wearing these adorable 5″sandals around the house to show off my gorgeous painted pink toe nails .I am new to this chat forum and will no doubt be sharing… Read more »

Helene van der Tee
Active Member
2 years ago
Reply to  Lynne

Heart surgery or any kind of life changing events do indeed make you more empathetic. I had a heart attack 10 years ago, it panned out good for me but I can cry my eyes out at anything. From Bambi to the news I have to look away and pretend I’m tired or have to visit the bathroom. My wife and kids know and laugh their heads off, which usually gets me laughing as well. Go out! Enjoy yourself, life is toooooo short not to.

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