I know it’s been a while since we last spoke – I want to thank you for all the contributions of stories, articles and experiences you’ve shared. I’m finally back from all my travels the last six months, and will start looking through all the wonderful words you’ve shared.
To start us off, I want to share a story from Charlotte, about society, acceptance and how sometimes even those who profess to accept still have a ways to go in acceptance.
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The other day my family and I were eating out at Café Nero in Derby. We walked in and got ourselves something to eat and drink. My parents told my Sister and I to go and find a seat so that is what we did.
My Sister looked over and saw a lady and said do you think that’s a bloke?
Being a Crossdresser myself I looked over and then looked back at my sister and said so what if she is. With that my Mum and Step Dad came over to the table my Sister had to point the lady out to them. My Mum and Step Dad as well as my Sister all know that I Crossdress although they don’t understand and some would feel uncomfortable if I were Crrossdressed in front of them. I know that they don’t understand and don’t want to see me Crossdressed, but they are of the opinion that people should be who they want to be as long as they’re not trying to inflict it on you.
My other family don’t know about me Crossdressing and that is how it will remain as they don’t understand why people do it either.
Not long after I was outed to the family that know my Nan said they saw a guy dressed as a girl in Tesco’s and was saying “he looked silly” and was really ripping him apart saying “I don’t know what he thought he looked like” etc. I thought fair credit to the guy/girl as they are expressing themselves without
fear of judgment or being judged and that is how ideally it should be.
The second time my Nan and this time my Mum would bring the subject up as when they went out to some National Trust house. In the grounds they were holding the Bearded Theory Festival.
There was a guy in a dress with a beard who fell under the scrutiny of my Nan and my Mum. My Nan being an oldie feels that people that are Gay, Lesbian, Crossdressers etc shouldn’t show it or “Flaunt it” as she says. I’m not gay myself but I think as my parents say what does it matter as long as you’re not trying to push someone into doing or being something they’re not then it’s fine.
Getting back to the original Café Nero experience and this is where the other experiences that the others have had ties in with all this; the person who was Crossdressed at Café Nero was not causing any trouble and was minding their own business so why did my family have to make remarks at this experience of seeing them?
My Step Dad looked over once and then kept on looking over even though after the first comment he made it seem clear that he disapproved and was of disgust of the lady who had come out Crossdressed. The lady after all was only sat minding her own business relaxing in the Café on her computer. I will admit I looked over a couple of times because it is the first time I have seen anyone brave enough to go out Crossdressed; and it is the first time other than myself in the mirror that I’ve been face to face another Crossdresser.
I was proud to see that the lady didn’t even react to us looking over but then I guess that is how you deal with any unwanted attention that you are receiving.
Why do people they say they don’t mind people being themselves when they comment about them when the person who is different isn’t doing anything to the onlooker? Perhaps people who wish to comment in a negative way should stop, think then if the feeling is still negative either go away and educate themselves, ask the person for the information e.g. why do you Crossdress etc or better still remain silent.
P.S. Stay tuned for a fabulous competition that is coming soon!