A story of society and crossdressing acceptance

Dear Readers,

I know it’s been a while since we last spoke – I want to thank you for all the contributions of stories, articles and experiences you’ve shared. I’m finally back from all my travels the last six months, and will start looking through all the wonderful words you’ve shared.

To start us off, I want to share a story from Charlotte, about society, acceptance and how sometimes even those who profess to accept still have a ways to go in acceptance.

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The other day my family and I were eating out at Café Nero in Derby. We walked in and got ourselves something to eat and drink. My parents told my Sister and I to go and find a seat so that is what we did.
My Sister looked over and saw a lady and said do you think that’s a bloke?

Being a Crossdresser myself I looked over and then looked back at my sister and said so what if she is. With that my Mum and Step Dad came over to the table my Sister had to point the lady out to them. My Mum and Step Dad as well as my Sister all know that I Crossdress although they don’t understand and some would feel uncomfortable if I were Crrossdressed in front of them. I know that they don’t understand and don’t want to see me Crossdressed, but they are of the opinion that people should be who they want to be as long as they’re not trying to inflict it on you.

My other family don’t know about me Crossdressing and that is how it will remain as they don’t understand why people do it either.

Don't laugh at me

Don’t laugh at me

Not long after I was outed to the family that know my Nan said they saw a guy dressed as a girl in Tesco’s and was saying “he looked silly” and was really ripping him apart saying “I don’t know what he thought he looked like” etc. I thought fair credit to the guy/girl as they are expressing themselves without
fear of judgment or being judged and that is how ideally it should be.

The second time my Nan and this time my Mum would bring the subject up as when they went out to some National Trust house. In the grounds they were holding the Bearded Theory Festival.

En Femme Style

There was a guy in a dress with a beard who fell under the scrutiny of my Nan and my Mum. My Nan being an oldie feels that people that are Gay, Lesbian, Crossdressers etc shouldn’t show it or “Flaunt it” as she says. I’m not gay myself but I think as my parents say what does it matter as long as you’re not trying to push someone into doing or being something they’re not then it’s fine.

Getting back to the original Café Nero experience and this is where the other experiences that the others have had ties in with all this; the person who was Crossdressed at Café Nero was not causing any trouble and was minding their own business so why did my family have to make remarks at this experience of seeing them?

My Step Dad looked over once and then kept on looking over even though after the first comment he made it seem clear that he disapproved and was of disgust of the lady who had come out Crossdressed. The lady after all was only sat minding her own business relaxing in the Café on her computer. I will admit I looked over a couple of times because it is the first time I have seen anyone brave enough to go out Crossdressed; and it is the first time other than myself in the mirror that I’ve been face to face another Crossdresser.

I was proud to see that the lady didn’t even react to us looking over but then I guess that is how you deal with any unwanted attention that you are receiving.

Why do people they say they don’t mind people being themselves when they comment about them when the person who is different isn’t doing anything to the onlooker? Perhaps people who wish to comment in a negative way should stop, think then if the feeling is still negative either go away and educate themselves, ask the person for the information e.g. why do you Crossdress etc or better still remain silent.

Charlotte

P.S. Stay tuned for a fabulous competition that is coming soon!

More Articles by Vanessa Law

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cuckholddon
cuckholddon
9 years ago

I can’t help but comment! I do get out “Dressed” sometimes But rarely by myself-usally with wife& or friends! I know That I’m going to be stared at& the occation comment(esp. when I’m dressed like a slut& kind of enjoy it! It’s not often I get really negitive things said-Sometimes people wil grab thier children & hurry off the other way(that is hurtful) But Many will let the kids ask me the questions they are afraid to ask-Like “why are you dressed like a girl”-I say-I like to play dressup& the parents& kids are happy with that answer! I am… Read more »

Chelsea
Chelsea
9 years ago

People who live by unexamined values tend to see them as “natural” or “obvious,” and people who don’t fit in are subject to pressure to make them fit in. If that doesn’t work the stakes get higher: shunning, hospitalization, incarceration, beating, murder… Not only does this help perpetuate the unexamined value system, it also serves as an outlet for unexamined and denied feelings. Those who don’t adapt enough of the conditioning are dehumanized as unnatural, and therefor it is considered fitting that they should be subject to barbaric treatment. Perhaps the best solution is to surround yourself with a core… Read more »

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rachel
9 years ago

I often go out, alone or with another t-girl. Often I goto art galleries, museum, shopping centre etc. For me, I find families with children, less likely to cause an issue, in fact I’ve often chatted to parents, kids or elderly alike without incident.
The one negative comment came from a single male, trying to be tough in front of his male friend.

Rogina Bakey
Rogina Bakey
9 years ago

Some of us are out and about all the time and blend in quite well.I have never had a negative issue of any kind in many years.Most people don’t understand the “T” mind at all so few know that it is something we are born with.Acceptance is growing worldwide as young people are grasping the idea that gender has a wide spectrum.Educating the young about this is a powerful step forward.

Marty
Marty
9 years ago

I have been living as a female full time for nearly a year. I live in a small town in South Dakota, USA where you’d think people would really cause a stir. Even the largest city in South Dakota, Sioux Falls, where my wife and I shop, take care of business, work, go to school, etc) She’s even use going out with me fully dressed, with our without makeup. First of all, there are still a lot of people out there that are unaware of the LGBT community, and mainly Transgender people like us. In my opinion I look like… Read more »

elisa michelle
elisa michelle
9 years ago

Hi! loving these stories of how tg/cd girls deal with the, “biased” opinions of the general public!.as for me have been a Cd girl for many years,dont get to dressed up often as woman,but when i do it is a very liberating feeling,and know that expressing myself as woman,is something that is truly withing me,and it is something that enjoy doing,as i see nothong wrong with expressingmy feminine feleings and desires!as for people,who feel compelled to voice negative opinios,i always think to myself:they are the ones with a problem,not me!

keep up the good work!!!!!
elisa michelle

Leah Lenoire
Leah Lenoire
9 years ago

Unfortunately it will take a while to undo the damage that thousands of years of religion and aristocratic rule have done to our “free society”. Things seem to be getting better for us though. There will be a time someday when trans-people will be able to walk freely without judgement, we have to be patient though until then, as these ideas are very new to most people.

dorthy
dorthy
9 years ago

i weied way im kinda differnt my family dont like it but i went shoping because i went to woman section and was gonna purchase somethin i went to try it on in women section they stoped me wouldnt let me try it on i have done that in girls shorts though and have asked to try shoes on

Astraia
Astraia
9 years ago

Like someone said, xdressing has become more acceptable. Btw, always go “dressed” if you go girl shopping. If you go as a guy people think you are a freak or something like that. It’s better being called “homo” than a perv.

dorthy
dorthy
9 years ago

I finally my mom and brother said they don’t want me on there facebook my mom said cause she don’t like the the questions her friends ask her the other thing going on is we tried to take over for new baby from cps they took them after we got temp guardian I don’t know the laws but the case worker said they shouldn’t have took her from us but gave our email facebook names away and there family tried to add us is this against the law

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