Origin Stories: How to Tell Yours on CDH

Here at Crossdresser Heaven (CDH), we want to help you empower yourself by sharing your story.  CDH exists in part to give a platform for people who have never really shared their story before and to be able to share it with a site-wide focus – whether on your profile page, in our Forums, or even just sharing bits and pieces in chat.

Empowering those who have (on one level or another) felt that they do not correspond completely with the gender they were assigned at birth, is a big part of why we are here on this site. We work to support and empower each other on our journey towards realizing the person we truly are.  This goal has always been a focal point of why we exist,

The dilemma our team of editors often face when it comes to articles that tell a member’s origin story, is that we must walk a fine line between helping members tell their story, while also making them engaging to read. In this way, articles differ from forums. In forums, the goal is interaction, by sharing pieces of our life story, talking about our experiences, by revealing the latest addition to our closet, and hopefully by conversing with other members about it.

Transgender Heaven - Gender Journey

CDH does want to showcase your origin stories, and we really do not enjoy telling a member that their stories do not quite fulfill the essential elements for articles. When we advise a member that their piece would work better as a post in Forums, it is not meant as an insult or rejection. Everything has its place on CDH (well, everything within our rules and terms of service has a place on CDH), and your origin story has a place here. It just might not be in articles.

What we truly want in an article is something that stands out, a hook, an alternative viewpoint, or an exploration of something deeper than a serial description of events. We will work with you on better ways to tell your story and we might ask you to focus on something that we think merits more exploration in your article. What we want to do is help you tell your story in a way that will engage the reader and perhaps broaden their understanding of our similarities, but also our differences. Since the articles are often the first thing that a visitor will see, your story might connect with someone looking for people who understand.

We want you to think deep, to get real, and to genuinely explore why certain experiences impacted you. There is a tendency to tell one’s story as a laundry list of “this happened and then that happened.” This is a good way to journal about your story because it provides a foundation for deeper exploration. Journal the events in your life and from that you will find something about you that jumps out and would make a good foundation for an article.

For example, we once published an article from a member that was extremely fond of dangling earrings. She wrote about one afternoon, when she met with a client and forgot to take off her earrings. She wrote a very engaging story that was about nothing more than the dramatic build up of tension, as we wondered, “How will the client react?” In the end, after realizing she was wearing them, fearing that the client would laugh or ridicule her, it ended with a simple statement from the client about liking the earrings.

An experience like that can lead to an engaging story. For many, this story would seem like no big deal, but for our members, it was a anecdote about the anxiety and suspense that can arise from “forgetting to go completely drab” in a situation where you would not normally dress. It was an experience the author related as one that led to greater comfort in being herself.

One of the things I have noticed in my two years as an Ambassador on this site, being involved with articles much of that time, is that people are often afraid to stand out. We come to CDH seeking acceptance and a place of belonging. Often, the only people in our members’ life who accept and understand them are other members on this site. We are, for many, a lifeline on days when the rest of the world has turned them away for being who they are.

It is human nature to want to fit in and conform. Being accepted into a tribe has long been part of the human survival instinct. As a result, many people try to tell their story in a way they think will lead to acceptance. However, we want you to tell YOUR story, as you saw it, felt it, experienced it.

No member is the same as any other. No person is exactly the same as another. Our experiences help shape who we are, and exploring those experiences and being proud to be your own person is more important than conforming to anyone’s expectations of what a crossdresser or transgender person is supposed to be like.

We want your articles. We want the stories from your journey that were dramatic, life changing, or provided you with a moment of clarity. Articles aren’t really long enough to tell your whole life story. I recommend you journal privately the details of your life’s journey in respect to your gender identification and find the magic nuggets of gold that appear as you do so.

Help us to help you tell your story effectively and in a way that engages readers. I believe you can do it because I believe in you.

 

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Dionysus (Captain Di) The Corsair

Captain Di is an evolving explorer of the merger, or co-mingling, of the elements of the masculine and feminine that exist in different levels within us all. Captain Di believes in honest, self-expression and self-exploration with the goal of pushing the boundaries of what we limit ourselves to when we adhere to a system of what we "should" or "should not" do, become, or express our individuality through.

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Charee' or Char (Shar)Michelle LoveSasha MccleodDionysus (Captain Di) The CorsairBridget Kennedy Recent comment authors
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*skippy1965(Cynthia)
Ambassador
Active Member

Well said Cap’n!
Cyn

April (Pacific Princess)
Ambassador
Member

Cap – you and Jane were the only ones who gave Cy a run for her money in verbiage smile

April

Gina Angelo
Ambassador
Member

thanks for writing this piece Capn, I think it will help others understand the editing/publishing process

Gina

English Rose
Guest
English Rose

Very well written (LOL).

Sasha Mccleod
Guest
Sasha Mccleod

“No member is the same as any other. No person is exactly the same as another. ”

I wrote about mine, and I was told “it’s to similar.” With a seriously lengthy excuse.

I dont think we should be told how to tell our stories. It’s our thoughts and feelings and we should be able to share our experiences without an editorial hurdle.

Just my thought on the subject.

Sasha Mccleod
Guest
Sasha Mccleod

“When we advise a member that their piece would work better as a post in Forums, it is not meant as an insult or rejection. ” Yet it is. That’s selective journalism. You seem to overlook that insult and rejection “shouldn’t hurt” as it was explained to me in a very long, prefab excuse. Guess what? It did. Just because it doesn’t meet your standards that dosent make it any less important to the writer. You want patrons to support your site, yet you selectively support what you deem worthy as a “Good read”. I personally wont support a site… Read more »

Dame Veronica Graunwolf
Duchess
Member

Hi Sasha! Sweetie………please do not give up on writing your stories……even Hemingway and F. Scott Fitzgerald has more work rejected than accepted. It took Shakespeare quite a while before he was accepted.

Give it another try or two….for me.

Dame Veronica

Dame Veronica Graunwolf
Duchess
Member

Hello Dionysus!. I enjoyed reading your article. It is quite obvious that you have had training or perhaps studied journalism. Most people have not. I notice in to-days media, all kinds of misspellings and grammatical errors. I know that my daughter was not taught history, English nor proper sentence/paragraph composing. Her children are being taught subjects based on the lowest common denominator in the class…..a great tragedy. In the older eras….these subjects were highly enforced by the gentry. Personally, I believe that a site like this is for regular folk with the foibles and minor errors that they make. We… Read more »

Bridget Kennedy
Lady

I have a fairly interesting story to tell but where is it that I post it or submit it?

Sasha Mccleod
Guest
Sasha Mccleod

It’s all good, I’m over it.
I stand behind what I said. I believe everyone has that right to express themselves, be it written or visual.

It’s their life they are sharing and it is important to not only the writer or artist, but to others who can relate to the writing or visual and what they are trying to convey to the rest of the community.

They themselves put trust and faith in understanding and accepting community. How do you think they should feel? People have feelings and that’s a similar trait we all share. That’s being human.

Michelle Love
Guest
Michelle Love

Dear Cap’n Di,
I just read your article and all I can say is Thank You! My journey in life is taking a monumental change these days. I will take the time and tell my story from the soul. I am screaming from inside to be who I am.. I will get there. Gina has been an inspiration to me along with this article

Char
Ambassador
Member

Ummm, Have you been told how amazing you are lately! Well you ARE!!! heeheehee
Juuus sayin dear,
thaaaankyou for being exactly who you are!!

Namaste’
n huggles always
Char wink

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