Out and about in the UK

I love to go out when dressed.  Maybe you have done it yourself?   Maybe you would never dare but you wonder what it would feel like?  I can tell you that it is a delicious feeling to walk down the street and to blend in, to look just like all the other women who are shopping or on a break from work.

The first time I did it was in Manchester.  I spent time looking at myself in the mirror and wondering, “Can I do it, will I pass?” and then decided to go for it.  I did not have many clothes so my outfit was not wonderful and I had to borrow a coat (no, I did not ask).  The only shoes I had were too high for easy walking and now I would choose flats for a shopping expedition.

That first trip went well and gave me more confidence so I have repeated the experience many times over the years.   I have been out in various towns and cities in the UK.   Once I had a short holiday in France and was dressed for the whole time except for the journeys there and back.

Sometimes I have had my make-up done professionally but I am quite good at doing it myself.  I aim to blend in so I do not wear a short skirt or show too much skin.   I certainly want to look and feel feminine so for me jeans are no good and I have to wear a skirt or a dress.  I have to think about what accessories to choose and I often like to wear a delicate, pretty scarf.

Do I ever have any trouble?  If I am honest I must say that a few times I have had rude comments.  Once in London a man shouted out, “You’re a man!” and that was unpleasant.  I ignored him and kept on walking.  Everyone around me ignored him too.  That insult dented my confidence for a little while.  On a couple of other occasions men have said things just loudly enough that they must have intended me to hear but I have ignored them, kept on going and held my head up high.  Being confident, believing in yourself and smiling are some of my top hints for crossdressers who want to go out in public.

What do I do when I go out?  Usually I go round the shops.  In the UK we have charity shops, where donated goods are sold to make money for a charity.  I love charity shops because you never know what you will find and the prices can be much less than in other shops.  On the other hand it can be frustrating to find a gorgeous dress that is too small.  I do not usually try the clothes on so I carry a tape measure and that is very useful for checking sizes.

I feel confident walking down the street or looking in the shops but I do get a bit nervous when I go up to pay for something.  I do not talk much although I am trying to develop my feminine voice.  Maybe they think that I do not speak English or that I am too hoarse to do anything more than a whisper!

Apart from shopping I have been to a couple of stage musicals and I have been out for a couple of meals and a few snacks or coffees.

When I was in France I was with a crossdresser who had a lot of confidence and she thought that it was my turn to order the next drinks.  That was daunting but I did it.  Also on that holiday I held a door open for a man who gave me a “Merci madame” and that was worth a lot!

I would never push anyone to go out dressed but I have encouraged a few crossdressers who have a convincing look.  There is a risk but I have never experienced any worse than rude words.  I love to go out into the world.  It opens doors to all sorts of experiences and it feels just wonderful.

 

 

 

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Louise Rowan

I have been crossdressing or thinking about it for about 50 years but I like to think that I look young! I love to go out in public and that is often for a shopping trip. I like music, travel and the natural world.
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  1. lorrain 9 months ago

    wonderful grate read but do not have the confidence to go out all so crap at make up but would love to lern

  2. emma 9 months ago

    yes the first time was very scary but the sense of achievement was amazing, I had finally been true to the real me , I have only had a couple of unpleasant incidents I just didn’t rise to it , 99% just don’t care , as has been stated if you act with confidence you will be accepted , I have even purchased underware the young lady was only to help

    • Profile photo of Louise Rowan Author
      Louise Rowan 9 months ago

      Thanks Emma and thanks to all the others who have commented on my article too. Good to hear about a few of you who have discovered the joys of going out dressed.

  3. Rhondagurl 9 months ago

    Hi Louise….like you I’m from the UK, my first time out and about was in Bristol,and my BFF couldn’t believe it was my first time,she said I just oozed confidence.
    If only she knew how I was trembling inside 🙂
    Now I’m a regular out and about girl,a regular client at my local beauty salon…..I’ve even flown out on holiday from Manchester to the canaries en femme and stayed that way..what a wonderful experience!
    All I can say to the girls who haven’t ventured out yet is…do it,the outside is a wonderful place and you have nothing to fear except fear itself

  4. Profile photo of Jesse Nicole(Smokey)
    Jesse Nicole(Smokey) 9 months ago

    Wonderful read! Thanks for encouraging all of us to take that step out and gain the confidence we need..and girl I need some!

  5. Profile photo of Jeanette
    Jeanette 9 months ago

    Great article Louise, thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Thanks for sharing this with us and for trying to give all of us CD’ers that extra amount of confidence that we all so desperately need. I am proud of being your friend!

    Love, Jeanette

  6. Profile photo of skippy1965(Cynthia)
    skippy1965(Cynthia) 9 months ago

    Louise,
    Thank you for sharing this wonderful story! After decades spent dressing behind closed doors at home, I have begun venturing out a bi-driving while dressed at night and even a few times during the day. The next step is a girls day out-which had originally planned for yesterday (the 25th of June) but was postponed to hopefully a few weeks from now! I am going to overcome my fears and try to be confident and bold. Thanks for showing us the way!
    Cyn

  7. Profile photo of
    Penny Carter 9 months ago

    The first step outside the door en-femme is one of the hardest steps to take, but each time it gets easier. All you need to convince yourself that the only person bothered about it it yourself, make eye contact with others and smile. I’m no expert but I’m learning that in general (in Britain) most people are too polite to say anything and accept you as you are x

  8. Profile photo of JaneS
    JaneS 9 months ago

    Thank you for such an encouraging article Louise. Confidence breeds success which then boosts confidence. As you say, negative experiences can dent the confidence but ignoring taunts is the best way to just move on.

    I don’t think “passing” or being “convincing” is that important now. It can decrease those odd looks, for sure, but it doesn’t have to be a limit to what we do either.

  9. Profile photo of Sandy
    Sandy 9 months ago

    This is really encouraging. Thanks for your honesty.

  10. Profile photo of Maxine Doos
    Maxine Doos 9 months ago

    A lovely account, Louise and a pleasure to read. As is often the case, we are much more aware of our situation than most of those around us. Success does breed confidence 🙂
    Good for you!
    Hugs,
    Maxine

  11. Profile photo of Danielle(Dani)
    Danielle(Dani) 9 months ago

    Thank you for sharing.

    I guess this will be coming up with my counselor at some point. She told about a safe place and I went, I just went in guy mode. It was a safe place. I think there were six people. It wasn’t a crossdresser meeting, but a local TG support group. But there was one lady more confident than I who came in a nice dress and heels. I wanted to compliment her on her shoes. I like shoes in general whether that be nice men’s dress shoes or especially women’s heels of all kinds. I felt bad afterwards for not commenting on her shoes. I feel she would have appreciated that and it would have made her feel more welcome as it was her first time to the group also. But, maybe she’ll be back next month. Maybe my counselor will talk me into going dressed, somehow I doubt it. There are challenges with when the meeting is in relation to work time. So I wouldn’t be able to spend the time necessary to make me comfortable. Perhaps one day.

    I have ventured out at night and just barely in the daytime. I definitely look forward to more.

  12. Profile photo of MacKenzie Alexandra
    MacKenzie Alexandra 9 months ago

    I am early in truly exploring all of who I am. I have only recently vecome more open about my crossdressing and have begun venturing out in public. Lacking experience with make up (I am learning) and with difficulty finding a wig that fits and doesn’t break the bank has limited when and where. Your article , however, is inspiring and encouraging. Thanx for sharing.

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