It started about four weeks ago. I got up and started getting ready for work, just as I do every morning. Now, normally, I dress in normal “boy clothes” for work, and then change into my “girl clothes” when I got home. This day was no different. I got up, ate breakfast, checked my email and social media feeds for the day, then went to get a shower. Then I went in the closet to start getting dressed.
But suddenly, something changed. I thought, you know, I really want to wear a dress today. Of course I’d thought that many times before, but this time I decided that I was finally going to do something about it. I decided to shut off the part of my brain that kept telling me all the reasons why I shouldn’t, and just go ahead and do it. I pulled on one of my favorite dresses. It was a cold day, so I put on some cute leggings. Then since I already had the dress on, I figured I might as well put on some makeup – so next thing I knew I had a full face of makeup.
Now was the time to make a decision – head out the door, or change back into boy clothes? For some reason I can’t explain, I decided to stay as I was. I pulled on some of my favorite knee-high boots, kissed my wife goodbye, grabbed my purse, and headed for the door.
Now, to be fair, this wasn’t exactly a secret to my coworkers. I have worn makeup to the office before. I’ve also worn “girl shoes” with my slacks and shirt. I even wore a whole girly outfit to the office Christmas party in 2019. Many of my coworkers knew that I cross-dressed. But there were still many mental obstacles to overcome. I work in a large building on a military base. If I went to work dressed, I wouldn’t just be seen by my normal coworkers, I would be seen by everyone. The guards at the front desk. The military folks in uniform in the halls. Everyone.
But for some reason I made it. I’ve been doing a lot of mindfulness meditation lately, and I’m sure that helped. I just focused on the workday ahead of me. I think the crucial decision I made in my head was, “I’m not going to worry about it. If anyone else wants to worry about it, that’s their decision, but I’m just going to be myself and do my job.” And it worked! I drove in, got out of the car without hesitation, and walked into the building, and the rest is history. No one, and I mean no one, said a word, or even barely gave me a second glance. I did catch a few covert double-takes out of the corner of my eye, but the only comments I got were “hey, love that skirt!” from a few of the women in the office.
So, that was a few weeks ago. Since then I’ve dressed to the office about 8 or 9 times, and my confidence has grown tremendously. It has been so affirming! I love the way I feel in a dress, even though I don’t make any effort to pass as a woman. I can now walk the halls in complete confidence. I admit that I still feel some trepidation when going to the bathroom, but I’m sure that will pass with time. (I have decided to continue using the men’s room since I identify as male.)
My only regret in all this is that I didn’t think to take a picture, so I can’t show you my outfit. Maybe I’ll do that soon.
So, if I can do it on a military base, you can too! Remember, most people don’t care what you look like, and a surprising number will be happy for you. At least, that’s been my experience.
- Have you ever done what I did and just said to yourself, “The heck with it, I’m a cross dresser and I’m just gonna wear a dress with some knee high boots to work today!” And then just did it?
- When you dress en femme, do you use the ladies restroom or the men’s restroom? And how did the reaction go in either restroom if you met up with someone at the mirror?
- Have you ever had a full time job where you were allowed to dress up as a girl every day when you went to work? If so, what kind of job was it and how did your coworkers react to you?
Thanks girls for taking the time to read my article. Please feel free to send in any comments in response to either my article or to one or more of the questions I’ve posed to you above!