I was shopping at a department store recently (en femme, of course) for a new blouse to go with a pair of slacks I found on sale. There was woman at a rack of clothes not ten feet away from me with a five (?) year old girl in her cart. The girl pointed at me and said something to her mom. I can’t hear that well and don’t speak ‘kid’, but got that sinking feeling of being outed by a kid – and they can be blunt. “Mommy, why is that man wearing women’s clothes?” But the woman turned, looked at me, then replied to the girl “Yes, she IS pretty!” OMG!!! Not only was I relieved but also very pleased. It felt so good to hear that. I blushed, smiled, thanked the girl for the compliment, told her mother what a polite girl she had, and went on my way. I had a smile on my face that wouldn’t let go. I felt like I was glowing and on ‘cloud nine’ the rest of the day.

A couple of months ago I was getting in my car at the local mall’s parking lot (en femme again). A woman that was pulling out of a parking stall two cars away stopped, rolled down her window, told me I was ‘really very pretty’ and then she was gone! Earlier that day, I had been feeling down and decided to go shopping. I felt great the rest of that day and all night.

It just goes to show you what the littlest nice word can do for someone. Because of these and other reasons I try to find things to compliment others on. I know what it can do and it costs so little.

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Michelle B

I am an older, heterosexual, male that has been crossdressing for two years. I don't like the term 'crossdresser' since *I* don't dress fem, I let HER out and SHE does. I rather prefer 'transgenderist' or 'gender fluid'. I was married to a wonderful woman for forty years that would never have accepted my fem side, so I waited until after she died to let the woman in me out. Since I started, she have been out about a lot - and for the greatest part, accepted by my friends and coworkers. The she-of-me apparently is quite passable as she has been everywhere, and those that don't know my guy side, don't see anything but the woman that she is - even with minimal makeup (which is rare). She likes to be 'fem' - dresses, skirts, heels (!), jewelry, makeup - all make her feel pretty.
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  1. Profile photo of Lea
    Lea 6 months ago

    Thank you Michelle for sharing such a cute story. I too realized the power of giving compliments, how much women appreciate them, and the connection they can build.

    I recently complicated a woman on her outfit, which led to a really wonderful conversation about all sorts of topics

    I’ve been lucky to get a few compliments and words of encouragement a couple of times when dressed. The most memorable were two compliments in one day, a day I had started out thinking I was done dressing and would give up after.

    By the way, beautiful profile photo.

  2. JoAnne 6 months ago

    Thank you Michelle for sharing such a nice positive story with us all. I know for myself and probably many others here I have experienced quit the opposite response while out in fem shopping. I’ve seen the stares, the being pointed out, and heard the giggles before when out in public but I won’t let it discourage me from going out. I have had one positive experience when I received a complement on a new pair of heels I was wearing from a women as I was eating in a restaurant. I very politely thanked her and her kind words did make my day.

    Thank you again for sharing your positive experience.

    JoAnne

  3. Profile photo of skippy1965(Cynthia)
    skippy1965(Cynthia) 6 months ago

    Michelle,
    I have not been fortunate enough to get complimented on my journeys out as Cyn, but I know exactly what you are saying about how much a compliment can mean. I have had several people come tome later and tell me that something I said really made their day and when I think back, I don’t remember making a special effort to do so–i was just my normal self. I think that is the key-making it an integral part of your daily life to let people know how important they are to you and to express it to them. It can be as simple as inquiring about their family, sympathizing with their difficulties, or just being there when they need someone to listen.

    Thank you for sharing this story that I hope inspires me to redouble my efforts to pay compliments to others whenever possible!

    Cyn

  4. Profile photo of Norma
    Norma 6 months ago

    Michelle: A wonderful story. Maybe some day for me? I have had fem desires since I was 8 years old – I realized it when I painted my finger nails red with a crayon. Hugs to you, Michelle. This is Norma.

  5. Audrey 6 months ago

    I have a problem if one may call it that I wear a bra full time and I notice that I started developing breast, how possible is this and I do not use any medicasion?

  6. Profile photo of Khloe West
    Khloe West 6 months ago

    Lovely story, excellent commentary, and I certainly have missed you all. Away for quite a long time due to various life annoyances. but hope to back on the more regular side.

    I’ll stay brief, but I utterly feel what you say and understand it’s depth and the profound feelings that go along with it. I’m pretty new to all this as of about 3 years, and rather good naturedly and accidentally “outed”.

    That said? The doors that have opened for me and the opportunities that arose were mind bending. I’ve modeled, been in film, and a long list that I’d have never imagined. Still have trouble wrapping my head around it. Good on you!

  7. Profile photo of Amanda Patrick
    Amanda Patrick 6 months ago

    Hi Michelle,

    The story from your pastor is certainly an eye opener and definitely getting some compliments in our lives or told that we are loved really helps in life. your bio says you are an older cross dresser and only dressing for 2yrs. wow it must of been difficult to suppress your feelings all of those years. did it start young for you though like for most of us? you are an exceptionally strong person to be able to keep it under control for all those years. I am so sorry you lost your spouse. you must have loved her dearly. but happy to hear that you are wasting to time in expressing you femme side.

    Hugs,

    Amanda

    • Profile photo of Michelle B Author
      Michelle B 6 months ago

      Thanks for your comments, Amanda.
      I must say, that although I didn’t fully embrace my fem side until just lately, it was always there. From the first time as a kid with my cousins playing dress-up with the clothes in my aunt’s attic to, when older, the typical closet CD with the guilt, purges, and all the rest.
      I was quite naive growing up about all the aspects of all this, from CD’s to drag queens to transgenders, and only lately understanding and accepting all of the different aspects of it all.
      The desire to experience my fem side had been building for some time, but the ‘dam broke’ after my wife died. Even the first time out, I was accepted by strangers as female, and that has encouraged me to do more to satisfy these ‘strange urges’. I thank God that I AM a passable CD and that most of those who know me can accept my fem side. It would be rough to still be in the closet.
      Those that have known me long term, say that I am happier now than I have ever been in my life – even with the ‘down’ times when I really miss the love I had.
      And that ‘older’ part? Yeah, I’m 65, but most say I don’t look it, and when in full makeup fem mode, many say I look no more than 40. Still, I/she misses her youth. Had I known ‘back when’, *I* may not exist, only HER! Yes, its that strong!
      Hugs to all —— Michelle B

  8. Profile photo of April (Pacific Princess)

    Michelle – I can totally relate. As April I have gotten many compliments that have made my day, and haven’t heard a negative word from anyone. What they say once I’m out of hearing range I have no idea, but I feel happy when I am out and about and I think that reflects back in the vibes I get from others, and of course the actual conversations I have had.

    Nice to know I am not the only one out there who gets back the happiness she projects.

    Hugs,
    April

    • Profile photo of Michelle B Author
      Michelle B 6 months ago

      My pastor once told of a speaker he went to hear. This man talked about how you should always take the opportunities given you to tell someone about Jesus, or tell a loved one that you DO love them, or just give someone a random compliment – it doesn’t cost anything – and you never know if you’ll get another chance.
      The speaker sat down and died of a massive heart attack!
      I know what a nice word can do for MY ego, and I try to boost others with a kind word or compliment myself. When I see how it lifts other’s spirits, I feel good too!
      I HAVE blown a few strangers away with my words, but ALL appreciate them.
      Hugs to all — Michelle B

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