Hi CDH Sisters !! (If you have next to no info/ pics on your profile I most likely won’t accept your friend request.) My crossdressing story begins at a very early age. On the surface level I was the average young boy. My upbringing was as normal as it gets but something about me was a little bit different. I really don’t know how it started but ever since I was very very young I was fascinated with skirts, dresses and other female clothes. I didn’t have much access to female clothes growing up in a mostly male household so I would make my own clothes. I would stretch out one leg of a pair of shorts or a T shirt and make it into a skirt. Other times I could cut a pillowcase on top to fashion it into a dress , using a shoe lace for spaghetti straps. I knew this was something weird that other little boys did not do so I kept it to myself. These behaviors started when I was 4 years old so you could say that crossdressing is something very deeply rooted inside my brain. The years that followed alternated between being fascinated with crossdressing and then not caring about it at all but my feminine side never truly went away… As much as I wanted it to. I never understood this behavior from myself but it occupied much of my thoughts. Some times the urges to dress were so overwhelming that they consumed me, then at other times it was like a distant memory; something that did not sound appealing at all. I was an awkward kid for sure and this side of me just made growing up even more confusing. As time went on and I got a little older, the desire to dress came roaring back in a big way. This also led me to become more brave and risky with my secret “hobby”. When I was around 12 , I realized me and my mother were about the same size in clothes. Whenever she was donating some, I would sneak a few pieces out before they went to thrift store. I remember the first time I wore REAL women’s clothes.. WOW! The materials they were made of and the way they hugged my body the way boys clothes never could felt AMAZING to me. The best way I could describe it would be life-changing. When my family wasn’t home I would spend all day trying on my mothers dresses and skirts in total bliss. Her shoes were always too small for me though lol. I was VERY careful not to crease or dirty any of her beautiful clothes and as much as I wanted to, I would never steal anything she actually wore out of respect for her. This secretive lifestyle caused me much stress during this time and all the clothes I acquired over time were eventually purged. I was so scared of being caught and ashamed that there was something wrong with me but I was completely addicted to the feeling of wearing ladies clothes. For years I would always dream about when I was old enough to drive so I could go buy my own clothes. I would lie awake in bed just fantasizing about the future when I could crossdress freely. Believe it or not, it was my driving factor to get myself a driver’s license and a first job. At around age 18, I finally had my own car and enough money saved up from my measly fast food paychecks. The time I was waiting for had come and I went out and bought my own clothes for the first time! I bought ladies underwear, bras, hosiery, skirts , dresses, blouses and heels. I was in total CROSSDRESSER HEAVEN! This was a very memorable time for me because for the first time I was wearing clothes that were MINE, not borrowed. I even ventured outside dressed a few times, mostly just to practice walking in heels because at home my secret was confined only to my small room. I would drive around in my car and go to the gas station or go to the ATM in the middle of the night wearing a black floral prom dress, thigh high stockings and high heels! (Definitely not a matching outfit LOL). It was so nerve-wracking yet exciting at the same time to feel the wind on my skirt and hear the click of my high heel pumps hit the ground! In rough times of my life where I had low self esteem or was depressed ( girl issues, problems at work or school) I would come home and dress up. It would boost my confidence looking in the mirror because I looked and felt so pretty! I like to think dressing up kept me from getting into hard drugs or running with a bad crowd during my teenage years. Despite all this, I was still in the deadly and expensive cycle of buying and purging, and never accepting myself as a crossdresser. Up to this point my crossdressing was confined to strictly clothes and shoes. I’ve had a slender feminine figure and minimal body hair for most of my life, so just clothes was enough to give myself a ladylike image. After a very long purge, that feminine desire came roaring back , along with the next game changer in my 20s. I shaved my legs and body hair for the first time. Inspired by the beautiful ladies on this site, shortly after joining I bought my first wig and makeup. I remember looking in the mirror just completely astounded. I saw my dream woman and myself all in one. This is when “Natalie” was born. The feeling was surreal. As of now this is as far as my crossdressing story goes. I still have not completely accepted this side of myself although I understand my feelings a lot more these days. I am 100% straight and am not transgender or have any desire to alter my natural body. I have the opposite of gender dysphoria as becoming Natalie just makes me appreciate my natural body even more and see myself as a beautiful creation. I identify with the label of “crossdresser”. In my daily life I feel comfortable in a dominant masculine role. In fact sometimes I don’t feel the need to crossdress for weeks to months at a time. Despite this ,the itch comes back time and time again. I’ve never been successful at pushing her away for too long. Pretty soon , Natalie is back out of the closet and strutting around the room lol. In the future I really hope I can finally reach a balance between Natalie and my male self; a balance where there is no shame, fear or nervousness. I really hope I am at least past purging my clothes. As for what comes next for Natalie? Perhaps the world beyond my house if I can work up the courage! If you read this far I thank you for hearing my story and hope you have a beautiful day -Natalie ❤️