I was married for 29 yrs. and raised 3 children who now have children of there own which makes me a grandfather of 9. I have lived with cross-dressing as far back as 8 yrs. old that I can remember. Not understanding it throughout my life and still not . I started going out publicly April 2021. I have never known or been around anyone of my nature to talk with or to discuss cross dressing till joining CDH. I have subdued it a lot from fears throughout my life, always wanting to blossom with femme. I have always had it in me and when I used to cross dress it felt so natural. I always wanted so much more that it would make me sad when I had to come out of my clothes and clean myself up. I was on night shift at least 10 yrs. and when the kids were in school I would dress for long periods of time during the day. Which is part of the reason for my wife filing for divorce. Trying to salvage our marriage I purged every fem thing I owned and tried to dismiss my cross-dressing since it was the biggest reason my wife told me that caused her to stop loving me. (It never went away). After that I had a 12 yr. relationship with a women who didn't and couldn't understand it. During that 12 yrs. I was allowed to wear leggings and certain cotton tops. I would have time to myself occasionally to get fully dressed. Sadly she passed August 2020. I found CDH's web site and joined early April 2021. Then on Apr. 17th 2021 was the day I broke through my fears and I went beyond my front door as Janice and haven't stopped yet. I started HRT Oct. 2021. I have been giving myself time to adapt my personality and my walk as Janice living alone. I am still working blossoming in myself as Janice "legally" and enjoying my experience living full time. I have pursued procedures available to me. l am comfortable with my gender identity and living my life fully.