I am a retiree whose wife died recently. I have always given some thought to experimenting with crossdressing. With the loss of my wife's companionship, the pandemic, and my latent interest in experimentation, I started cross dressing a year ago and right now I want to see where this leads me. It has been a gradual process over the last year to accept that indeed I do enjoy looking, acting, and feeling like a sexy woman--a desire that continues to create some concern and questioning in me since I have always had a strong male identification and heterosexual preference.