Hello Girls. I am 59 years old, married and deeply closeted in my dressing. I live near Oakland, CA. I've been dressing since I was 11 but only sporadically. Actually from 11-13, I spent almost every day dressed, for at least a couple of hours. It fell by the wayside for a long time till after college. Then it was on again and off again and I never developed the skills I needed to make this successful for me. I gave it up for about a decade when I met my current "forever wife". This was in my past and I didn't feel the urge... well, I did but I brutally suppressed it. About 4 years ago, I tried again. I could no longer deny Brianna the right to exist. At this age and with the internet behind me, I really went at it as seriously as I could. After about a year, I was ready to pack it in when I discovered masking. To be frank, the dissonance I would feel when I dressed, Brianna came out and then I looked in the mirror was startling, jarring and corrosive. When I put on my first mask, I stood in front of the mirror in awe... I stood there for how long I cannot tell you but I found that I was slowly chanting to myself, "I'm free... I'm free". It was exhilarating. My spouse does not know and she cannot know. It would kill her. This much I know for a fact. So, I will keep Bri as a private part of my life like so many other of my sisters have to. So, I am getting much more serious about this in the last three years and I have resisted any urges to purge... Thanks for letting me join. I utilize my silicone mask to overcome my painfully male face. While some may find it a bit jarring, it works so well for me. It allows me to fade my male self into the background and bring Brianna to the surface when I dress. What is happening in this late middle-age process of discovery is that I am finding that the process of transformation is so much more important to me than any "thrill" or sexual twinkle that might accompany this. I used to think that all of this was sexual in nature... What a surprise to discover that it is not. Brianna is just as much a part of "us" as "B" is. I love both my "selves". I dream of being friends with a group of people just like me... both here and IRL. It would be so much fun to have my own crew... a giggling gaggle of great gurls to dress with, sit, laugh and share our tips and experiences. Someday, I hope to develop that in the Bay Area. Any Bay Area sisters... please reach out.