Poise and Grace

A women crossdresser showing poise

The following information has been helpful to me, and I hope that it will be helpful to you.  It is not original, but comes from classes on poise that my daughter took when she was in high school.

A poised woman walks beautifully, sits with style, and articulates her ideas and feelings with correct grammar.  Here are some practices that will improve your visual poise.

Proper Posture:

  • Eyes and chin should be level with the floor; ears over your shoulders.
  • Shoulders should be back but relaxed and arms hanging with a slight bend at the elbow.
  • Your rib cage should be elevated.
  • Stomach should be in.
  • Hips are tucked under the torso.
  • Knees are slightly flexed.

Instructions for Walking:

These instructions were for walking on a runway, so take them with a grain of salt.

  • Step out on the show foot and walk with toes pointed forward. Show foot will be described later.
  • Knees and ankles should almost brush.
  • Hips are tucked under the torso in order to have full control and balance.
  • Hands are loosely at your sides with thumb and middle fingers almost touching; arms swinging naturally.
  • Always stop in a hesitation, see below for explanation

Standing in Hesitation:

Hesitation is good for posing and a formal look.

  • Your weight is on the bridge foot (back foot).
  • The bridge foot should be almost parallel to your shoulders.  The knee should be straight but not locked.
  • The show foot (front foot) points forward. No weight should be placed on the show foot and the ankle should be arched towards the floor.
  • The show knee is bent slightly inward to cover the bridge knee, giving you a one-legged appearance.
  • A hesitation can be using either foot as the show foot.


Approaching a Chair:

  • Walk toward the chair. When stopping in front of the chair, one foot should be directly in front of your other foot.
  • Turn into a hesitation with the back of the bridge foot leg barely touching the edge of the chair.
  • Pinch your knees together and “melt” at an angle into the chair.
  • Your feet must remain in hesitation with the show foot pointing forward.
  • Use your hands to gracefully push yourself back into the chair.

Getting Out of a Chair:

  • Your feet must be in a hesitation.
  • Push yourself forward gently with your hands placed on the edge of the chair.
  • Place your hands in your lap.
  • Rise from the chair keeping your body straight with weight on the bridge foot and step out with the show foot.

Leg Positions While Sitting:

  • Hesitation
  • Hook where the legs and feet are placed at an angle to the body. The bridge foot lies along the back of the ankle of the show foot with toes pointing down.  Knees must remain pinched together.
  • The dinner hook is the same as the hook, only slightly back under the chair.  The legs and body are slightly forward.
  • Cross where the legs and feet are placed at an angle to the body as in the hook.  The bridge foot leg is crossed over and is placed along the side of the show foot leg with toes pointing down.  This is a lot harder to do for most of us than it is for a genetic woman.
  • Pants cross to be used only when wearing pants, where the legs are extended at and angle an crossed at the ankle.

Hand Positions While Seated:

  • Hands may be cupped with one on top of the other on the lap.
  • One hand may lie on the lap with palm down.  The fingers of the other hand are curled over the arm just above the wrist.
  • Hands may be clasped with index fingers loosely intertwined.
  • You sit with a theater hook where one arm may be place on the back of the chair.


Do not bounce or hurry.  Be steady with eyes looking ahead. Step foot over foot, with feet angled toward the railing.  Do not use the railing unless you feel off balance.  When using the railing, finger tips may glide along the hand rail.  Safety is first in all cases.  Do what is needed to prevent a fall.

Going Down:

Keep your eyes straight ahead.  The ball of your foot should absorb the pressure. Step down at a three-quarter angle and look at your audience.  Follow the posture rules.

Going Up:

Use your leg muscles and keep your back straight to bring you up gracefully following the posture rules.  Look straight ahead toward your audience.

I hope this is helpful to you ladies.  Practicing these tips will give you something to do when you are properly dressed.

The following two tabs change content below.

Melissa Penning

Latest posts by Melissa Penning (see all)


Leave a Reply

9 Comment threads
3 Thread replies
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
10 Comment authors
Melissa PenningMaggie DiazAmelia walkerElaine HamiltonMichelle Wilmington Recent comment authors
Notify of
Dame Veronica Graunwolf

Melissa…….thank you so much for penning this very important part of “Being a Lady”. A lot of girls today lack these basic items. It is what sets a “Lady” apart from a common street female. Manners and Etiquette seem to be a lost art. I am Dame Veronica Graunwolf and was subjected to all the trainning of being “Royalty”, as my ancestors were from Germany/Austria….The Hapsburg lineage as well as family dating back to King Charlemagne of France. Poise and Grace go along with this. I however, have my moments of being a savage or Vulgar Colonial if you wish….what… Read more »

Davinia Hart

Thank you Melissa, very informative. I’m sure many of us here practice some of these anyway, but it’s good to have a proper guide. Proper poise is attractive as well as so very feminine.


Thank you – everything helps


Thanks for this posty Melissa, very informative.
Very sad that these days many a GG do not practice these guidelines no poise and grace.
Methinks that far to many women think of themselves more as ladettes than ladies these days. Very much to their detrement IMHO.

Take care girls


Lisa watson

Awesome information, thank you so mush.

Michelle Wilmington

Important tips to remember and practice, Many of us often forget that passing or even just blending in is much more than throwing on a wig, dress, and makeup!

Elaine Hamilton

Oh my goodness, thank you so much for this article it was most informative and I truly enjoyed the read….yay. Do you have more information about other feminine subjects she may have covered at finishing school, if you do please share them with us ….Lovies Elaine

Amelia walker

We have a mission to preserve feminine grace in a society where it seems some men are becoming less masculine and some women more so. Thank you for the advice. I now have my week end planned. It will amuse my wife,

Maggie Diaz

Melissa great article with some great tips. Thank you for sharing.

Log in with your credentials


Forgot your details?

Create Account