Until recently, I believed that my husband dressed, on occasion, as a woman because it was a kink of his that I didn’t quite understand.  Now that he has come out, we have Michayla Rockwell in our lives.  Michayla was very unwelcome in my life and our home in the beginning.  I felt, in many ways, that she had barged into our lives much like the proverbial bull in a china shop.  Acceptance is a journey and while I have my bad days and moments, I am finding Michayla to be “extra” in our relationship, and in reality, she’s always been there. I just didn’t know it.

Our anniversary is coming up and I had no idea what to get my husband.  Luckily, I know Michayla could use a couple of things, so I took it upon myself to go to the mall to buy her some nice gifts.  I hate shopping and I especially hate the mall, so that gesture alone should be a compelling statement of my love and devotion. 

My husband has a small collection of panties.  They are not worn daily, but often enough that he could use a larger selection.  The panties he does have came from Target that he bought for himself.  I believe Victoria’s Secret to be the Holy Grail of pretty panties, so I went on a quest most noble in search of just that. 

Crossdresser Superstore

I felt strange heading into Victoria’s Secret with panties for Michayla on my mind.  Michayla can be picky and I worried that I would pick the wrong ones.  I know Michayla prefers lace and she needs a larger gusset panty to at least somewhat accommodate her male… accouterments.  I walked around the store wondering if I was the only woman there buying panties for her husband.  Has the staff ever helped a woman buy panties for her husband before?  Has the staff ever knowingly helped a man buy panties for himself?  I watched the other ladies in the store wondering if they were shopping for themselves or someone else.  I felt like everyone was watching me as if they knew what I was up to, but I reminded myself that they weren’t looking at me and they weren’t reading my mind.  In which case, unless there was a mind reader at the store, they didn’t let on that they were reading my thoughts.  

I moved all around the store, picking up panties and examining them.  I was overwhelmed by the selection and I wanted to get ones that checked all of Michayla’s boxes.  The cotton panties, plain panties, and thongs were out of the question but that still left a sea of possibilities.  As I picked up each pair I wondered, is this a good color? Is this enough lace? Is this too much lace? And most importantly, can this pair hold a dick and balls?  I imagined my husband’s gorgeous man parts in each pair that I studied, deciding if they were up for the task of holding his finest of assets.  A mental image of Joe Camel came to mind.  I wondered what to say if an employee asked me if I needed help.  Surely I would simply say “no, thank you,” but other options entered my mind such as “I’m here to buy panties for my husband, my husband likes panties, my husband is a crossdresser,” and “can you point me towards the pretty lace panties that can accommodate a dick and balls?”  I imagined what their face would look like if I said any of those things and it brought a smile to my face.  I might have to say one of those things just for the amusement and sheer shock value of it.  

I remembered that Michayla said that boy shorts are a style that fits well.  I tried to find boy shorts in the store but there weren’t any to be had.  It dawned on me during this noble quest that boy shorts, for a crossdresser, is a bit of an oxymoron.  My husband will only wear panties made specifically for women and yet he likes boy shorts because of the way they fit.  Boy shorts.  My husband said he wouldn’t wear men’s panties no matter how pretty and yet he will wear ladies panties that are called boy shorts.  I’ve come to understand that there are many things that I am just not going to understand.  I realize that boy shorts are a style made for women but I find it amusing nonetheless.  

Visit Transgender Heaven

When I got home, I made a point to complain to my husband about how hard it is to buy panties for a man at Victoria’s Secret.  We revisited the notion that most crossdressers will only wear panties made for women.  I reiterated that panties made for men would fit better and he can still feel like a pretty princess without the distraction of his lovely bits slipping out or holding them too snuggly.  I postulated that this issue of slipping or smashing would detract from the overall feminine feeling much like ill-fitting clothing makes me feel like a busted can of biscuits rather than an attractive woman.  I hypothesized a way to market pretty panties that would fit better.  I decided I would need to create a new line of panties that caters to this particular niche.  This is how “Betty Rockwell’s Fat Fupa Panties for Real Women” came to be.  You’re welcome.

I ended up buying three pairs of panties at Victoria’s Secret, a little black dress from Macy’s, three pairs of clip-on dangle earrings, one necklace with an “M” on it, and four pairs of panties from Target, and two new colors of nail polish.  I hope that my husband will love the things that I spent so much time picking out and even if he doesn’t, I know the gesture alone is a gift in itself.  

More Articles by Betty Rockwell

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Raquel Smith
Active Member
1 month ago

I love the humor mixed with heartfelt love and devotion. Happy Anniversary to you and Michayla!

Much love,

Michelle McQueen
Active Member
1 month ago

Betty, you prove once again that magical unicorns do exist. You give us hope. Thanks for sharing your thoughtful, interesting experience through your captivating writing skills. We are all jealous of Michayla in being so fortunate to have a partner like you.

Darcy Grigsby
1 month ago

That was by far the most entertaining article I have read on this site. What struck me as very interesting was your initial uneasiness with shopping in a VS store. Interesting in the sense that what you felt is what a lot of US feel those first few times we shop for ourselves. Like a cloud of silent judgement following us around the store. I would have thought a GG could have navigated the store with a carefree attitude, but I guess with the the knowledge of who you were shopping for changed that dynamic. So, you got to experience… Read more »

Julie Shaw
1 month ago

Jill Fassel
1 month ago

Betty, I applaud you for realizing how difficult it is for us “Special” ladies in making the correct selection for even the most basic wardrobe option, panties. I, myself, love wearing very feminine panties and have a large selection and found that there are options through the years that have been better then others. I prefer, for example, Dixie Belle full nylon briefs with the lace decor above the legs which provide a very feminine feel but do have a wider gusset to accommodate the extra anatomy. Bali also has a freeform brief style that has a very wide gusset… Read more »

Kristen Smithly
Active Member
1 month ago

I really liked this article! You wrote about the feelings a CISwoman must have through when shopping for aCD/TG woman. Gusset width is important! I love the humor you put into the article 🙂
Hugs, and happy anniversary to all three of you!

Helene van der Tee
1 month ago

I totally got the ‘difficult journey’my wife is on that same road at the moment. One thing about female attire designed and made for men…I wouldn’t wear it, it doesnt psychologically fit in, it just as well be pink Y-Fronts, If its made for my form, my form isn’t the form I want to present, even if it keeps the ‘meat and two veg’ in its place. Thanks for sharing, I dont see my wife reaching the point where you are at in our relationship but I am happy she is now giving me space to be Helene.

1 month ago

So much fun to hear you having some of the same feelings we do when shopping. “Are they watching me?” What do I say if they offer to help?”

Thank you for being so sweet to the special girl in your life.

Denise Mannequin Jones

This is without a doubt one of the best articles on this site, anything that was bought for me I was there to put my input on. I wonder what my wife would get me if she ever thought to go shopping for me. You clearly love your husband very much, not to say that mine doesn’t love me but what you did is a very nice gesture.

Jill Quinn
1 month ago

The best present your husband received, was you. Thank you for being supportive of his need to show and live his feminine side. My wife is supportive of me and I can’t tell you how important that is. Without her, Jill wouldn’t exist at all and I would still be having dreams that are vivid and stressful about cross dressing. Your article was very well written and it included just the right amount of humor, and it was the best article I’ve read here so far.
Thank you again,

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