Yesterday, I bought myself a pair of ladies jeans in a gorgeous teal/green colour. “Fantastic,” you may say—perhaps not without a hint of sarcasm—but I bought them en homme, in Bon Marche, a women’s clothing shop for those who might not know of it. This is the first time I’ve bought Allie stuff in such a place as previously it’s been charity (thrift) shops or online.
My wife and I decided to go for a drive up to Perth. It’s a lovely city and only around 45 minutes from home, so we go a few times a year, usually for a walk in the countryside before going back into town for a coffee and some shopping.
Once we’d had said coffee, we had a look around a few of the shops, both charity and regular retailers; my wife was looking for a new blouse and a pair of winter shoes and one of the shops we visited was the aforementioned Bon Marche. She did indeed find a couple of blouses she liked, so told me to wait while she tried them on in the fitting room. I had already seen the jeans and checked that they had my size, so I asked her if she thought they’d let me try them on, to which she gave her usual reply, “Why not?”
As she takes her blouses to the fitting rooms, one of the ladies behind the counter—they were more mature ladies, two of them plus a younger girl—looks at me and tells me there’s a chair just inside the entrance to the fitting area. “No thanks.” I said, “Actually, there’s a pair of jeans, in a lovely colour, that I’ve seen. Would it be possible to try them on?” I could feel some heat in my face by now but I wasn’t hyperventilating, so all good so far. “Of course, can you show me the jeans?”
We went to the rail, I took out the pair in my size and she looked at my height then told me I could get a longer leg size online, at this point I held them up against me to show her the size. “Ok, just take them into the fitting room then.”
I took them into the fitting ‘room’, merely a cubicle with a curtain that was three inches too short to ensure privacy, but hey, when in a ladies clothes shop… Jeans tried on and they fit fine, back out to the till and paid for my purchase. Not an eye batted nor even a hint of a sharp intake of breath.
When we got back to the car, I recalled that in addition to my silver bracelet and ring, both with turquoise coloured stones, I had a very high gloss, clear-with-a-hint-of-pink nail varnish, on my fingernails. OK, that went well and the world didn’t stop, so the next time I find myself admiring a dress in a shop, I may well feel emboldened enough to ask to try it on. A few short months ago, I would have laughed hysterically, and for just that bit too long, at the mere suggestion of doing this.
Big thanks to my friends here who have rekindled my enjoyment of ‘reckless behaviour’.
Allie x
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That’s a wonderful experience. I too have found that a customer gets treated with the same respect from my experiences buying women’s shoes and clothes. It’s good for business.
@Lea Yes, but I think that is the point. A lot of sales clerks get commissions and their paychecks won’t care who added to it.
We have the choice of walking away with ower money if we feel that we are not being treated the way that we expect that we should.
It’s STILL 90*f every day here. So chiffon flouncy maxi.skirts light blouses and summer tops and bikini bottoms !
Tee shirts over lightweight bras and simple house dresses still hold sway in this weather here.
Hugs xoxo
Stepganie
Good for you, Allie! I never hesitate to try things on, but never would I try on women’s clothing in male mode. Not that I don’t have the intestinal fortitude to do it. It just doesn’t feel right & when I look in the mirror, I want to see a woman– not a guy in a dress.
@beach-girl That’s a good point, Dawn, and one I hadn’t thought of. I’ve just come back from attending Leeds First Friday, an LBTQ..etc etc friendly event and the first time Allie has been out in public! Thanks to Liz, Ellie and Fluff, otherwise I’d never have had the courage to do that on my own. And I only had to travel 275 miles from home to do it. But, now that the ice has been comprehensively broken, I’ll be looking for other opportunities maybe not quite so far away, just enough to ensure that I won’t be burned at the… Read more »
@Allie Wouldn’t that be burned inside a wicker man, up in your neck of the woods? 😜
Ha ha! No no, that was a relic of the past, Joanna. It was banned months ago.
@Allie love this Allie.
I had a really positive experience at Ann Summers recently. I was very nervous but when I explained to the assistant that I was shopping for myself she couldn’t have been more helpful. Great advice and support including guidance on correct sizing and fitting x
@jennyjet
Aw, thanks, Jenny, I’m glad you had such a good experience too. Yet more evidence that only ourselves hold us back.
Allie x
You will soon find that trying things on in stores will become second nature and your anxiety level quickly fades. I’ve done it for 2 1/2 yrs. and never had an issue. Confidence is key, walk in like you belong there, like you’ve been there before. Dress to blend in and don’t talk to anyone in the fitting room. Go when stores won’t be crowded so the fitting rooms will be lightly used. Keeps you from having to stand on a line.
@d44
Thanks for your encouragement and advice, Fiona, I’ll remember it when I ask to try on my first dress in a store.
Allie x
OK, that went well and the world didn’t stop, so the next time I find myself admiring a dress in a shop, I may well feel emboldened enough to ask to try it on. Of course! A CD can buy anything she wants anywhere, at any time. No need to blush, either. However, there is a way to judge whether something might fit you or not without using a change room. The simplest is to just hold the item in against your body. Is it close or ridiculous. If close, go further. My preferred, more accurate, method is to use… Read more »
@harriette
Thanks, Harriette, that’s great advice. My confidence is certainly increasing, I was looking at nail varnish a couple of days ago and they all had gel in the name. I was approached by a sales assistant and asked if I needed any help. Before now I would have blushed and muttered something about my wife but I just said that I was looking for a non gel type as I found the gel a nightmare to get off. No blushing, no rapid heartbeat and I got a nice varnish.
Allie x
@Allie thats ao cool! And brave! I bet the jeans look stunning!
@crazycynthia
Thanks, Cynthia, as I say, my confidence is increasing daily 😊. You’ll find it happening too, the more time you spend here!
Allie x
I was shopping for a gown for new year’s eve and the lady at the changing room, was uncertain if I was allowed to take them to the men’s dressing room (I was wearing masculine clothes). In the past, I would have been too embarrassed to try on the gown to begin with, let alone with a balking employee. But I remind myself that my demeanor when I’m shopping sets the tone. If I’m timid I will get a lot more looks, but if I’m confident I get less attention. And quite frankly it’s 2025, so time to “update your… Read more »