Earlier this year as the pandemic and local lockdowns were ramping up, I decided to do some pre-emptive self-care as the situation ahead looked mentally draining. I began listening to my favorite self-hypnosis recording to lift my spirits and keep me resilient. Several things started to shift in my life from my hypnosis recording. The most apparent was my inner woman stepping out of the shadows of my mind. That was on February 24, 2020.

She had stepped out before for short visits and when I first came out to my wife. But then she retreated back into the shadows of my mind as we raised our family. This time it felt much different. The guilt and shame, though not completely gone, were at such a low level that I knew in my heart there would never be a purge of her things again. The deep feeling of self-acceptance had made me realize that this is who I was meant to be.

I came out to my wife once before, and she accepted me. Would she accept me again this time? At first, she did, but then she noticed I was purchasing several wigs and makeup. She knew I was serious about my feminine feelings. She said that it was scaring her. I decided to keep our discussions about my feelings low-key for a while. I expressed that I wasn’t going to leave her, and my feelings were making me happy and content about myself more than I’d ever been in my life. She wants me to be happy and she knows how much this means to me. She offered to share her makeup and beauty products. Of course, she proceeded to borrow my foundation and one of my lip pencils! Our conversations have become more comfortable. We talked about me growing my hair long, piercing my ears, and possibly getting a feminine tattoo.

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I read about other’s journeys on CDH. Some state that they are comfortable being male and dressing up in women’s clothing. I know in my heart that I was meant to be a woman. I can’t give an explanation as to why I am male, but the path I was supposed to walk should have been as a woman.

I’m a sensitive, caring, and nurturing person. I like connecting with people on a deeper level than most of the men I know are comfortable with. I have been criticized for being too sensitive as a male. It caused me to think that there was something wrong with me and that I was flawed as a human. This recent awaking of my inner woman has made me realize there is nothing wrong with me and there never has been. I’ve just been experiencing life with a natural feminine essence. This is me, and I am perfectly, Kay.

I’m currently building an inner foundation for more growth as a woman. Adding inner strength to weather any guilt, shame, or fear. I continue to listen to my self-hypnosis and meditation recordings. During my daily meditations, I visualize how I will look and act in the future. My outer work includes practicing makeup skills, trying different wigs for hair color and style, epilating body hair, polishing nails, and taking some feminizing herbs.

Taking hormone replacement therapy and having surgeries are probably not in the picture for me with my underlying health condition. I plan to live as much as possible as a woman. I am not at the point of opening that door yet and stepping through it.

Before February 24, 2020, I never saw myself heading towards where I am today. I had fleeting fantasies about dressing or feeling like a woman, only to have them evaporate as fast as they appeared. I’ve long wondered if I would ever find myself or my life purpose. After that day, my inner woman stepped out and bore her soul to the world. I experienced something bigger than anything I ever had—womanhood. I’ll never go backwards again. Kay will never be pushed back into the shadows. Life feels so congruent as I embrace the path I will be walking. My dreams and desires are becoming aligned with my true purpose for being here; to be my true self and to nurture others.

I feel passionate for life, excited about my future. I’m whole and at peace, feel spiritual and in the natural flow of life. I refer to this life amazing life event as my “Radical Feminine Awakening.”

  • Has your life ever had an awakening?
  • Does dressing as a woman relate to your life’s purpose?
  • How passionate do you feel about your true self?

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Kay Anderson

I have wanted to be a girl as long as I can remember. Trying to live the male role all my life, and suppressing my feminine feelings. I have come to finally accept who I am and allow my feminine spirit to thrive. I enjoy exercising, hiking, being outdoors. I can be very shy.

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Baroness
Trusted Member
Amy Myers (@amylove2dress)
9 days ago

Lovely article Kay, well written and thought out. To share a bit of my own journey with you. I’ve always been drawn to dressing up since around 12 or so, like so many others have been. Though I’ve given it up for long periods during my life, but I can’t call it a purge, as I just stopped and never really missed it, then I would get the urge to dress up again. My wife always knew from our early days together I had a “thing” for wearing women’s undies, and I started with borrowing hers, then one day she… Read more »

Baroness
Active Member
Vanessa Vanreed (@van1963)
8 days ago

What a wonder article. For me I had my radical feminine awakening about five years ago I decided to get in touch with my inner girl by piercing my navel. I had been painting my toe nails and wearing women’s tank top for years. I began to shave more body hair gradually. I started to let my hair grow and as I did I had my eyebrows arched. The longer my hair the more the arch. My wife would leave to visit he family in the summer. I would dress when she was gone. Hiding all away when she returned.… Read more »

Ambassador
Active Member
Sophie Frenchie (@sophiefr)
7 days ago

Kay, Firstl,y I wish to congratulate you for sharing this with with us. I love your artilce, it shows what I am learning mor and more of the positive side to this world issue we are dealing with. It is forcing many to look closely at their life and examine it in detail, I have seen the positive effects even with a member of my own family. There is a definate corelation between adversity and the discovery of ourselves. It was the one major factor that allowed me to accept myself and get where I am today, four years later… Read more »

Member
Heather Harrison (@heather69)
6 days ago

That was so well written Kay. What you shared is almost spookily similar to my own journey. Thank you so much for sharing this part of your life!

Duchess
Jessica136 (@jessica136)
5 days ago

i really enjoyed reading what you wrote. Living on my own now and being retired I feel so excited about who i am, exploring my inner woman. Every day that goes by i can see my old me starting to strip away and joy has just blossomed. I look back at my youth and realize now how i had feminine traits and wish i could have known what i know now. Kinda funny , when i was a teen i attracted all the girls, never dated one of them. i just wanted to be with them, talk, laugh, cry together,… Read more »

Duchess
Member
Krista (@kristacanada)
5 days ago

Hi Kay, thank you for sharing your latest article. I can relate to it in so many ways. Two differences though. The first one, and it is one that makes me envious of your situation, is that my spouse is not nearly as supportive as yours. My wife has known for years and prefers that we just don’t talk about it. She has some baggage about gender stemming from her childhood when she was mistaken for a boy. Meanwhile I’m mistaken for female all the time and love it. She doesn’t understand how that’s possible. The second difference is my… Read more »

Active Member
Jenna Stone (@jennainmd)
5 days ago

Kay! What a wonderful article. Your caring, sensitive and thoughtful self comes out with every word. Can I ask what feminization hypnosis tapes are your favourite? I listened to some but not feeling them. Maybe I’m not in the right frame of mind! Hugs Jenna

Ashley Love (@ladydragon)
1 day ago

Thanks for the article. I came out to, my now wife, before we got married. At first she was unsure of her feelings then she gave me some panties and eventually came to accept Ashley for who she was.

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