Stop what you are doing for a moment. Take a deep breath, close your eyes, and take yourself out of yourself. Imagine yourself as someone reading the story of your life. What makes a good story? Relatable characters who develop over the course of the narrative, interesting events that propel the plot of the story, and in the end we want a story that gives us hope for a happy ending.

Now, reading your own story, think about where you might be in the course of the epic story of you. It is an epic. It began with birth and childhood, took you to where you are today, and has set you on a course for the future. People read a story, in part, because they don’t know how it will end. They don’t generally like a predictable story. What is the point of reading a story if you already know how it ends? The best stories bring us back to read them again because the characters are so relatable and interesting and because the story itself is exciting and stirs emotions within the reader.

Is your life story the kind of story people would read over and over? Most people would say it isn’t. Many would say it isn’t worth reading at all. Who would read the shit story of my rotten life? Someone who has hope for a happy ending, that is who is reading your story.

Although we don’t usually like stories where we can easily predict everything that happens, we do tend to get upset when characters in a story we are reading, or a movie we are watching, do things that make us cringe or get otherwise upset. The most obvious example is watching a horror movie where people in a house are getting killed off one by one. We shout out for them to get out of the house because staying in a house where people are being killed off one by one is, to us, a stupid thing to do.

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Now, transfer this to someone reading the story, or watching the movie of your life. Say you are in an unhappy marriage, you have not fully revealed to your spouse your gender identity, and you are miserable every day. We have members in this situation, and when reading their stories, some of us might be inclined to shout out, “Get out of the house!” In this case, the reader might have faced a similar crisis, “Do I come out to my spouse and risk rejection, divorce, and being shunned by people I consider my family?” Maybe they were able to resolve it, and it was a struggle, but for them, watching this movie where the protagonist struggles every day with depression because they are keeping a big secret from the people closest to them is a painful experience.

They want the protagonist to find a resolution that will bring some measure of peace because they identity with the struggle. They have been there, or somewhere similar, and so the character is very relatable and therefore they become more emotionally invested in the outcome of this character’s story.

Stories where someone faces a crisis and then presses a button and it all works out are really boring to read. Whenever you really face harsh times, consider that your story just got more interesting to read. Maybe you are about to come face to face with the big season ending cliffhanger on the television series about your life.

Practice thinking in these terms. It can be useful at times to look at yourself from the outside and looking at the story and imagining resolution to the conflicts in the story. We read mysteries and watch detective shows because we like to try to figure things out before they do. So, watch the current episode of your television show and see if you can figure out how to resolve the current conflict.

Next week we hope to bring you a somewhat different perspective from a different member from the Crossdresser Heaven and Transgender Heaven. Until then, keeping taking it one step at a time on the road you’ve had to travel as it hopefully takes you closer to the road you’d like to travel.

Your Weekly Reset is a collaborative effort of members of the editorial staff. It is not a substitute for professional counseling. If you believe you are in a crisis situation, please call our friends at Trans Lifeline, 877-565-8860 in the US and 877-330-6366. 

En Femme Style


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Dionysus (Captain Di) The Corsair

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Fiona-Ann Moss
Active Member
3 years ago

Very true words Captain! many of our stories hopefully, can guide other members in similar situations, to find a way out or at least, come to terms with their position. Many of the articles here have helped me come to terms with who I am, what I am and where I am going. I had no insight before, just a perpetual wondering! another quality thought provoking post Captain! 🙂

Fiona xxx

Leslies Ann Gray Girl
Active Member
3 years ago

Hi Captain , My life story? HA HA HA , yes it would be a very good one. Mine would have a failed marriage , being caught by my wife in her clothes , trying to quit, change my thought process which we all know never works. Sometimes going a year not dressing up, but always the need and urge there to do so. My dream is one day to come out to the world , toss all my manly clothes , put on a dress and never look back. I told one person and he just sort of smiled,… Read more »

Active Member
3 years ago

Well said Leslie. That is the biggest part of keeping inside the closet, the lack of societal understanding. I think a lot of us have similar stories. But together we can get through it.

Active Member
3 years ago

Captain Di, thank you for your inspirational words. Stories with sudden change and rescue (as you say where a button is pressed) to bring resolution, have to be really good to keep a reader engaged enough to overlook such a device. In my story, I am in the middle of discovery. This is a great way to think about. I have been preparing to write my story, this is the year for that. In my life. For review and renewal. For it is a crisis we go through in our gender discovery. I hope to share parts with the group… Read more »

Trusted Member
3 years ago

Beautiful Di…Thankyou 🙂

Brandy Loveslace
Brandy Loveslace
3 years ago

Just beautiful to think of life that way! If I pull back for a minute and look at my life, it’s like a roller coaster ride with many ups and downs and twists and turns and I wouldn’t have it any other way really. Because, that’s who I am! If there is anything in this world that has looked like it would be fun or something I might enjoy, I do it. & If I like it I’m going to do it again and again and again. There are few exceptions to this whole “just do it” idea for me.… Read more »

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