Hi Girls, Scarlett here!

Now these stories and suggestions are strictly based on my own cross dressing history and experiences with my wife, along with my readings from two cross dressing sites. And girls, I could write a novel on this subject, however, considering the number of word restrictions placed on these articles, I’ll keep it as short and succinct as possible.

With my wife, she was extremely reluctant to have “The Talk” and it didn’t take place until years after she first found out about my thrill of cross dressing. I finally had to insist she sit down and listen to me from start to finish, and to let me answer any questions that may arise from our discussion.

1) I felt it was very important to let her know when and how my desire for wearing lady’s clothing all began. And for most of us, it starts as a very young boy with our mom’s or sister’s clothing. Regarding me, I told her it started with me discovering two full drawers of the sexiest black lingerie I ever saw in my life in my mom and dad’s off-limits bedroom while snooping around while the entire family was gone. This black lingerie of my mom’s was found in two full drawers in her main chest of drawers right in their bedroom.

I told her about selecting and putting on my mom’s black thigh-high hose first and then the black garter belt and a sexy black bra. After finding my dad’s secret stash of Playboy and Penthouse magazines, I spread some of them around me on their bed, opened the magazines to their centerfold pictures, and then had my way with myself for over an hour. After that session, I carefully put everything back exactly where I found it. And that’s how it all began.

2) I told her my cross dressing continued after that specific day but with huge gaps of no cross dressing at all for long periods of time. I either didn’t have the time or the urge with the responsibilities of working full-time, going to school full-time at night, and coaching my two sons’ baseball teams in between my semesters of college. During those many years, I had never taken it to the level of full-up cross dressing which is where I’m at with it now.

3) Several questions came up from her during our discussion. I don’t have the luxury of noting each one of her questions that came up because there’s just not enough space in this article to list them all. However, as a result of her questions, I had to assure her I wasn’t gay, I had no sexual interest in other men or women, and that I loved her more than ever. And most importantly, the fact that she would always be my first love. In my opinion, you must make this perfectly clear to your wife or SO. Remember that your own personal cross dressing wardrobe can’t ever love you back, however, your wife or SO can always love you back. Please remember that fact girls! If your cross dressing is more important to you than your wife or SO, you probably had some serious issues with that person prior to having “The Talk” and there’s no telling how much longer your relationship will last!

4) One thing I had to drive home hard was the fact that if it came to choose between my sexy redheaded wife and Scarlett (the name I use when I’m getting my total girl on), Scarlett would have to go! Unless your marriage or relationship is on the rocks, your wife or SO must know that your cross dressing serves as a distant second to your love for her or him!

5) After getting that cleared up, I had to describe in detail to my wife how important it was for my mental well-being and total happiness to continue on by exploring my feminine side and by continuing to cross dress. Shopping for all the items pertaining to being dressed as a cute, pretty, sexy, and classy girl named Scarlett was also an important part of the process to continue as well.

I told her and showed her that my thrill of cross dressing was not related to becoming some version of a “drag queen.” My ultimate mission with cross dressing was to become 100% passable as female when I made the total transformation from me in Handsome Husband mode to Scarlett with my total girl on in that dress or cute outfit.

She wanted to know where I learned my expert makeup skills, and I told her my skills were all obtained by watching YouTube videos on my laptop which were videos produced by professional makeup artists. I also told her I had never had a professional makeover done in person by anyone.

6) I made it clear that my admission to her of my thrill of cross dressing increased my ability to relate to her as a beautiful woman so much easier. I also told her my coming out helped me steer clear of any depression, guilt, or shame I had experienced in the past by keeping my thrill of cross dressing a complete secret from her and others over the span of so many years. I suggest you tell your wife or SO the same thing.

7) I also told her I simply wanted her to accept me exploring my feminine side and in no way was I going to shove this cross dressing issue down her throat. I told her the acceptance by her of my cross dressing could go as slowly as she wanted it to go. I also assured her, I wouldn’t be cross dressed in her presence if she was uncomfortable seeing me dressed as Scarlett, which in fact was the case. The comfort level with that issue will vary from one wife or SO to another for sure! Some wives and SOs will even let you get your girl on while going out shopping or on a date with them. Those cross dressers, based on my research, are in a small minority. It appears most wives and SOs – especially long-term wives are not comfortable with this at all! My sexy redhead sure won’t be going shopping or out on a date with me dressed as Scarlett anytime soon!

To my amazement and surprise, she decided to accept me and love me as I was. She assured me that my cross dressing would never, ever lead toward what I was afraid it might lead to and that was either a separation or worse yet – a divorce. She let me know that her love for me would maintain and stay as strong for me as it always had, and I could continue my cross dressing with only two conditions. One condition was that I didn’t dress up as Scarlett in her presence and condition number two was that the neighbors and her coworkers from her high-level position/job in our county would never find out about Scarlett.

After showing her about 50 of my best photos of Scarlett, I simply got up and gave her a big hug and kiss and told her the limits she placed on my cross dressing were more than reasonable and just fine with me!

After seeing plenty of the photos of Scarlett, she more than confirmed that I would totally pass 100% as a girl. She even admitted Scarlett was just as pretty and cute as she was!

Well girlfriends, I have almost met my word limit with this article so it’s time to bring this one to an end.

I’m sure you have further suggestions to add with mine, so please feel free to expand my limited list!

I would also love to hear how you broke the news to your wives or SOs and to tell me how your version of “The Talk” went with them.

To all my CDH girlfriends – I love you all and hope you enjoyed this entertaining subject. I so look forward to your responses to this article!

 

XOXOXO Scarlett

The following two tabs change content below.
I love the thrill of cross dressing and based on the CDH girls' comments in response to my posted photos, I must be pretty good at exploring the feminine side of myself. I find it sexy, sensual, exciting, challenging, and ever changing. I'm so very blessed now to have as much money as I want to spend on Scarlett and can now, for the very first time in fifteen years, actually purchase dresses, tops, and skirts while shopping with my wife! I never thought that would ever come to fruition! I can now store all of Scarlett's things in our huge dream home when just a short period of time ago, it would all have to be kept in a temperature controlled storage unit. I love Crossdressing Heaven and know it's the classiest and most tasteful cross dressing site on line. All the girls are full of support and encouragement and if folks come to the site with alternate motives that aren't in line with our founders rules and regulations, they are quickly deleted from our site. Vanessa Law, our founder, keeps this site classy at all times. She has much help from her Ambassadors, Chat Room Monitors, Photo Monitors, Article Editors, and many more personnel to keep this site classy, encouraging, and supportive.
Tags:

54
Leave a Reply

23 Comment threads
31 Thread replies
0 Followers
 
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
23 Comment authors
Scarlett398Alexis MoonVanessa JonesMistiAnne Preuss Recent comment authors
  Subscribe  
Notify of
Giselle Reeves
Lady
Member

i came out to my wife after 27yrs of marriage(that was 8 1/2 yrs ago), we both had nervous breakdowns over my coming out as a crossdresser or maybe non op mtf woman, we almost divorced over it(we probably should have in hindsight) she has become tolerant of Giselle and even attends support group events with but we have ceased to be husband and wife and now are good friends but have no physical life at all, i regret to this day telling her about Giselle as it hurt her so much and caused her to lose her trust in… Read more »

Christine V
Lady
Member

Good article, I’m glad your wife is accepting!

Danielle Wayne
Duchess
Member

Hi BFF. this is an absolutely amazing and accurate article. I identify with so many of the points. Thank you dear girlfriend. your insight truly helps me along with my own journey. Love ya
Danielle

Robin Snow
Lady

Hi Scarlett, First, I love your outfit. Second, great article. I’m a bit of a late bloomer. Throughout my life I managed to suppress my desires to dress until about five months ago when the desire was so strong that I gave in and decided that I should let my inner girl out. Before I bought a stitch of clothing, I came out to my wife of 20 years about my feminine side and my desire to dress. She was very appreciative that we talked about it first. To keep a long story short she has been supportive and doesn’t… Read more »

DEANO JOHNSON
Member

HI SCARLETT , I ENJOYED YOUR ARTICLE SO VERY MUCH AND I THANK YOU FOR BEING SO TRUTHFUL . MYSELF THOUGH AM GAY AND A CROSSDRESSER . I LIVE IN A SMALL TOWN OUTSIDE TORONTO WHICH HAS NO SUPPORT OR OTHERS IN THE AREA . I’VE BEEN CROSSDRESSING FOR MANY YEARS SUCH AS MOST HAVE AFTER DISCOVERING MY MOM’S AND SISTER SECRET STASH TOO . I TOLD MY FATHER I WAS GAY DURING OUR LAST VISIT BEFORE HE PASSED AND WAS CUT FROM A MULTI-MILLION DOLLAR WILL . IT WAS MOSTLY MY SISTER THAT COULDN’T HANDLE IT BUT SINCE THEN… Read more »

Danika
Lady

Scarlett, your introduction of Scarlett to your wife was exactly the way I told my wife about 10 years ago as far as introducing Danika to her. When I first told her about Danika, I got the 500 questions in 15 minutes. I told my wife that I wanted her to know so that she knows that I was being completely honest with her. I didn’t want to hide it from her just to have her find out later by accident. So honesty works best. It has been a slow but thoughtful process to get to where I am but… Read more »

Carrie
Guest
Carrie

Hi Scarlett, Thank you for sharing your story about coming out and making it right with your wife and your persistence and reassurance to be there for her. The courage it takes to sit down and tell the one person you have pledged your love and trust towards, for life, about this part of us, is so overwhelmingly difficult. This fear gripped me through twenty nine years of marriage, the raising of three kids and the life we have been building together. Always the dread of what would happen if my big secret was discovered. Knowing that hiding this from… Read more »

Lorrie Kaye
Lady
Member

Hi Dear Scarlett, I had to respond to your most wonderful article. You are so fortunate to have the Sexy Redhead in your life. The only time I “came out’ to my first wife was when I had ordered a bra, panties and heels from Victoria’s Secret on our joint credit card. HUGE MISTAKE! She got the next month’s statement and saw the items. At first, she accused me of buying the stuff for a woman I worked with, whom she thought I was having an affair with (I was not). When I confessed they for me, all hell broke… Read more »

April (Pacific Princess)
Ambassador
Active Member

Hi Scarlett! So wonderful how you handled things with your wife. My marriage was already having problems when I came out to her. She is pretty accepting, but the marriage still has issues, unfortunately. I did tell her though – my crossdressing has absolutely nothing to do with her! It is an entirely separate thing. And I stressed that my CDing has very little to nothing to do with our issues. I thought that was important to let her know. Funny how some people think that CDing is the root of all your marital problems – WRONG! It is but… Read more »

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Subscribe To Our Newsletter

Join our mailing list to receive the latest news and updates from Crossdresser Heaven.

You have Successfully Subscribed!

Log in with your credentials

or    

Forgot your details?

Create Account