Hi Girls, Scarlett here!
Now these stories and suggestions are strictly based on my own cross dressing history and experiences with my wife, along with my readings from two cross dressing sites. And girls, I could write a novel on this subject, however, considering the number of word restrictions placed on these articles, I’ll keep it as short and succinct as possible.
With my wife, she was extremely reluctant to have “The Talk” and it didn’t take place until years after she first found out about my thrill of cross dressing. I finally had to insist she sit down and listen to me from start to finish, and to let me answer any questions that may arise from our discussion.
1) I felt it was very important to let her know when and how my desire for wearing lady’s clothing all began. And for most of us, it starts as a very young boy with our mom’s or sister’s clothing. Regarding me, I told her it started with me discovering two full drawers of the sexiest black lingerie I ever saw in my life in my mom and dad’s off-limits bedroom while snooping around while the entire family was gone. This black lingerie of my mom’s was found in two full drawers in her main chest of drawers right in their bedroom.
I told her about selecting and putting on my mom’s black thigh-high hose first and then the black garter belt and a sexy black bra. After finding my dad’s secret stash of Playboy and Penthouse magazines, I spread some of them around me on their bed, opened the magazines to their centerfold pictures, and then had my way with myself for over an hour. After that session, I carefully put everything back exactly where I found it. And that’s how it all began.
2) I told her my cross dressing continued after that specific day but with huge gaps of no cross dressing at all for long periods of time. I either didn’t have the time or the urge with the responsibilities of working full-time, going to school full-time at night, and coaching my two sons’ baseball teams in between my semesters of college. During those many years, I had never taken it to the level of full-up cross dressing which is where I’m at with it now.
3) Several questions came up from her during our discussion. I don’t have the luxury of noting each one of her questions that came up because there’s just not enough space in this article to list them all. However, as a result of her questions, I had to assure her I wasn’t gay, I had no sexual interest in other men or women, and that I loved her more than ever. And most importantly, the fact that she would always be my first love. In my opinion, you must make this perfectly clear to your wife or SO. Remember that your own personal cross dressing wardrobe can’t ever love you back, however, your wife or SO can always love you back. Please remember that fact girls! If your cross dressing is more important to you than your wife or SO, you probably had some serious issues with that person prior to having “The Talk” and there’s no telling how much longer your relationship will last!
4) One thing I had to drive home hard was the fact that if it came to choose between my sexy redheaded wife and Scarlett (the name I use when I’m getting my total girl on), Scarlett would have to go! Unless your marriage or relationship is on the rocks, your wife or SO must know that your cross dressing serves as a distant second to your love for her or him!
5) After getting that cleared up, I had to describe in detail to my wife how important it was for my mental well-being and total happiness to continue on by exploring my feminine side and by continuing to cross dress. Shopping for all the items pertaining to being dressed as a cute, pretty, sexy, and classy girl named Scarlett was also an important part of the process to continue as well.
I told her and showed her that my thrill of cross dressing was not related to becoming some version of a “drag queen.” My ultimate mission with cross dressing was to become 100% passable as female when I made the total transformation from me in Handsome Husband mode to Scarlett with my total girl on in that dress or cute outfit.
She wanted to know where I learned my expert makeup skills, and I told her my skills were all obtained by watching YouTube videos on my laptop which were videos produced by professional makeup artists. I also told her I had never had a professional makeover done in person by anyone.
6) I made it clear that my admission to her of my thrill of cross dressing increased my ability to relate to her as a beautiful woman so much easier. I also told her my coming out helped me steer clear of any depression, guilt, or shame I had experienced in the past by keeping my thrill of cross dressing a complete secret from her and others over the span of so many years. I suggest you tell your wife or SO the same thing.
7) I also told her I simply wanted her to accept me exploring my feminine side and in no way was I going to shove this cross dressing issue down her throat. I told her the acceptance by her of my cross dressing could go as slowly as she wanted it to go. I also assured her, I wouldn’t be cross dressed in her presence if she was uncomfortable seeing me dressed as Scarlett, which in fact was the case. The comfort level with that issue will vary from one wife or SO to another for sure! Some wives and SOs will even let you get your girl on while going out shopping or on a date with them. Those cross dressers, based on my research, are in a small minority. It appears most wives and SOs – especially long-term wives are not comfortable with this at all! My sexy redhead sure won’t be going shopping or out on a date with me dressed as Scarlett anytime soon!
To my amazement and surprise, she decided to accept me and love me as I was. She assured me that my cross dressing would never, ever lead toward what I was afraid it might lead to and that was either a separation or worse yet – a divorce. She let me know that her love for me would maintain and stay as strong for me as it always had, and I could continue my cross dressing with only two conditions. One condition was that I didn’t dress up as Scarlett in her presence and condition number two was that the neighbors and her coworkers from her high-level position/job in our county would never find out about Scarlett.
After showing her about 50 of my best photos of Scarlett, I simply got up and gave her a big hug and kiss and told her the limits she placed on my cross dressing were more than reasonable and just fine with me!
After seeing plenty of the photos of Scarlett, she more than confirmed that I would totally pass 100% as a girl. She even admitted Scarlett was just as pretty and cute as she was!
Well girlfriends, I have almost met my word limit with this article so it’s time to bring this one to an end.
I’m sure you have further suggestions to add with mine, so please feel free to expand my limited list!
I would also love to hear how you broke the news to your wives or SOs and to tell me how your version of “The Talk” went with them.
To all my CDH girlfriends – I love you all and hope you enjoyed this entertaining subject. I so look forward to your responses to this article!
XOXOXO Scarlett
More Articles by Scarlett398
- Scarlett Looking Back At Her Very First Cross Dressing Experience!
- Scarlett’s Purpose at Crossdresser Heaven!
- A Few Of Scarlett’s Hot Tips On Fashion And Beauty!
- “Scarlett’s Hot Tips On Photo Shoots!”
- Scarlett On How To Share Your Thrill Of Cross Dressing With Others
Does she allow you to go out in public?? That was one of my wives questions and restrictions… Misti
Good question Misti! And the answer is: “Not Really". However, my sexy redhead goes to quarterly seminars associated with her work four times each year. She’s gone for three days and two nights. I pick one of those nights to go out in public as Scarlett. I’m 100% passable as a girl so no one has a clue I’m a guy when I’m out. My first stop is usually to our nearest mall which is about 15 miles from our home. I’ll walk up and down about four long hallways and then go into the Sephora shop where the girls… Read more »
Sorry for the delay Scarlett in replying. You should write books. You are quite the adventurous one going out and hitting the bars and malls. Wish I had a quarterly adventure. Its been a while since Ive hit the Drag Nite – 10 years – at our local bar, but what a rush it is. Finally you get the opportunity and its like your planning weeks out in advance. Ok what do I wear, Shave my entire body,wardrobe change after wardrobe change. Make up change , the right earrings, nails are an adventure which I need to master. Pack a… Read more »
Love your note, Misti! You think a lot more ahead than I do! I usually roll with a clutch instead of a purse with the bare minimums in there. Sometimes it’s a very small trendy purse – whatever is the latest style and roll with that. I like your idea of taking a drink right before you get out of the car and face the world as a pretty girl instead of a handsome guy. It’s a daunting task and takes a lot of balls to pull off that we do! I probably won’t take that drink because it would… Read more »
no,,,,i would wear things under onlyopen at home mostly in bed
Hi Scarlett, I love how you thoughtfully lay out your points for addressing one’s crossdressing with their spouse/SO. Every one of your articles is so thought provoking that it’s sometimes a bit scary to read them because you open up raw emotions within me. I am different from you from the standpoint that if I were to be completely honest with my wife, I would have to tell her that I have wanted to be a woman ever since I tried on my mother’s underwear at age 11. It’s a long story to tell about how I reached this point….there’s… Read more »
Well, Anne, I must say that’s one of the sweetest responses I’ve ever received to any of my articles! And it’s so well written! I really think you need to start writing articles to post in this section and ask me to the editor on your articles. They would be so easy to edit. I did’t know if you knew I’m an editor in this section as well as a writer. Thanks for the lovely compliments, Anne. “The qualities of intimate sisterhood that women share amongst themselves" – that’s so sweet to hear from you, Anne. And by the way,… Read more »
Hi Scarlett, Wow, from where I stand you did everything correct by explaining who you are to your wife. I believe that you have to be sincere and honest when coming out to your spouse or SO. I wanted so much to tell my first wife, but, I did not feel that I could trust that she would understand a OR worse yet keep it to herself. I believe that the fact that I couldn’t express myself was in part responsible for my divorce. When I met my second wife I came out right away. I printed some information off… Read more »
Loved your response, Vanessa, and so happy you came out early with your second wife and she’s been so open and supportive with your cross dressing, Take my advice and hang on to that girl! Don’t press any sort of total transition. Keep the wife you love now. Wives that are accepting as yours towards cross dressing are extremely hard to find. I wish my sexy redhead was so accepting. We could have so much fun going on girl on girl dates as well as guy on girl dates. And shopping together as girl friends instead of always husband and… Read more »
Scarlett, I want to thank you so much for sharing this, especially because I’m in a similar situation. My wife is accepting and understanding, but doesn’t want to participate. I think you’re right on that most women probably don’t, but there are others in that situation that sometimes I feel like pressure me to push that angle with her. But, everyone is different, and what I’ve learned is that you have to respect those boundaries. I pushed it way too far when I dressed up for Halloween last year, and she was very put off by it. The funny thing… Read more »
Loved your response, Alexis! Funny you brought that Halloween thing up because this year I was going to suggest it to my wife to let me dress up as Scarlett this Haloween to hand out the candy. But then I knew she wouldn’t go for it because when I’m getting my girl on as Scarlett, I do look like this sexy, cute, pretty and classy girl. And I mean a real girl not a guy trying to look like a girl like a lot of guys do at Halloween. I know that sexy redhead of mine wouldn’t allow it anyway… Read more »
Well Scarlett dear, loved the article! Your advice on how to handle “The Talk" was spot on. The sexy redhead is lucky to have such a beautiful and loving partner! As you know, my “Talk" came out of the blue as I described in my upcoming article. I am one of the fortunate girls whose wife not only approves but wants to be a part of Kathryn’s time. Her plans involve us going out together shopping, having lunch and she’s even asked me to find CD events for the two of us to attend! And on a very important note… Read more »
The SO or wife has to know they are #1 in your wife and if it came between cross dressing and your wife, you wife has to know you love her more than cross dressing! You are a lucky girl, Kathryn, and are living out my fantasy I have with where I want my cross dressing to go with my wife – the shopping together en femme, the lunches, the movies, and then the fireworks when ya get to come home, light the candles and let the firerworks begin right after you light the Yankee Candles in the bedroom. You… Read more »
I love this pic Scarlett.
Thanks Tracii, I thought it was kind of a sexy look too! The short shorts with the jean jacket and the Calvin Klein slight platform heals looks sharp togther.
Thank you for loving this pic, Tracii! XOXOXO Scarlett
You are so welcome.
Yeah the outfit is really cute and you look fab as well.
Thank you Baby Doll, I was wonder where you have been!
Love ya! XOXOXO Scarlett
Its been a few months since I have been on here and I should check in more often. I have been on that other site some and its just the same old stuff and really kind of slow to be honest. Pretty much out full time these days and enjoying it. Life is good for the most part. Not taking many pics these days because I have put on so much weight, its kind of embarrassing to be honest. I am a lot bigger than my profile pics I posted last year. I may take some pics and update my… Read more »
Oh Girl Friend, your’s truly here is having a devil of a time with my midsection. The midsection for males my age is almost impossible to keep flat no matter what you eat or don’t eat! It’s really frustrating! I’m having to double up on the shape wear girl friend to help keep my school girl figure. When I take between 200 and 300 photos during a photo shoot, I find myself deleted about 25 photos just because of my gut! I used to only have to delete 2 or 3 because I either closed my eyes when the shutter… Read more »
I know how the shoots go take a few hundred and toss 50% of them for closed eyes or hair in the wrong place LOL. Anti seizure meds have really done a number on my figure that no amount of shape wear will help plus I don’t think they even make shape wear in my size. I could blame it all on the medication for making me hungry all the time but I have no willpower when it comes to food. I am the last person to give weight loss advice LOLOL 🙂 good luck tho’. Enjoy your guests during… Read more »
Thanks Tracii! The first guest hasn’t even shown up yet and I’m completely worn out. Just had to stop at nine o’clock tonight because there wasn’t and ounce of energy left to go on any further. I worked hard all day today and I can’t go no more!. I can related to your food issue. At one time, my sexy redhead was 5’4″ tall and weight 285 lbs. She was addicted to food and lots of it! She went and had the colo by pass operation and she’s been at about 128 for the last five years! If she eats… Read more »
My neurologist says I won’t have to stay on the meds forever so there may be light at the end of the tunnel. I have not had any blood pressure issues or tested even close to pre diabetic numbers so I am glad about that. Just have a slow metabolism from the meds so its really easy for me to put on weight. I do eat healthy believe it or not and stay active I just eat too much because I always feel hungry. I have gotten used to being 300+ and the fattest girl in my group of friends… Read more »
Crew came in today and boy do they love the palace and what we’ve done to the place on the inside and on the outside. I think we need to do these meetings once a year because the home becomes totally immaculate and the yard looks like Augusta National Golf Course at Augusta Georgia. Everything is just squeaky clean from the floors to the ceiling to all of those fancy stainless steel appliances which I roune out to be a breeze to clean with Weinman’s Wipes. Hope one day soon, Tracii, you can get off those meds and get your… Read more »
The house sounds awesome and clean is good LOL.
Yeah I hope so too .
My friends are awesome and so supportive and that really helps
Enjoy tomorrow and have fun.
You bet we will! Thanks girl friend!
Rad article!!!
Thank you so very much Jamie and sorry it took so long to get back to you with a thank you note!
XOXOXOX Scarlett
Wow scarlet, your writing is just exquisite. I loved each and every word of it. I also came out to my wife in my first year of marriage itself. But it went almost exactly how you described here. Most of the SO’s are indeed very uncomfortable accepting the other side of our personality. But love always triumphs skepticism I guess. It was a slow process for me, But my wife is completely okay with my cross dressing now. And I occasionally cross dress in front of her (she is little uncomfortable though, But there’s lot of acceptance too 🙂 )… Read more »
I love your writing skills as well, Kalyani! It’s so very obvious you have an astute command of the English language and know how to string those words, sentences, and paragraphs together. I love smart girls! You’re right, true love always triumphs skepticism and that was the case with me after “The Talk". It included Scarlett photos and a question and answer sessin that was quite lengthy as well! I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to be dressed as Scarlett while in her presence. I sense there’s more than just a little jealousy coming from her direction on… Read more »
i love this,,,i feel so comfy,,,,my start was mom, i loved her
and seeing her in a long black slip took me over the edge at 11
i enjoyed a hamper in the main bathroom access to most all i would need ,,,,panti hose,,,,,slips oh my first love
made me feel soft and comfy
moving ahead 30 yrs married i am to enjoy it all dressed in lingerie
in bed for lovemaking yep she knows all
and plays well jenk
Jen, you are certainly one very lucky girl. All of us cross dressers have that fantasy of getting our total girl on and getting to go make love to our wives in a girl on girl love making session.
Won’t ever happen at this house, however, I’ll always have it in my mind as a fantasy!
I really do think my Sexy Redhead would totally love it if she just gave it a try one time!
XOXOXO Scarlett
I would literally die to look like you.
You are so beautiful. I could never look like you.
You actually put some real woman to shame.
I am a secret closet crossdresser, wish I wasn’t.
Do you an array of photos or albums taken by yourself.
You in the white dress is fantastic.
All I can say is wow!
Well that sure is one of the sweetest notes I received this week! Thank you so very much, Robertie! Let’s talk about my picture taking process. I do all of my photo shoots here at this gorgeous home of ours my wife and I worked over 45 years for and in the process of working high profile and high stress jobs, we earned five college degrees while working full time and going to college at night. I have a bachelors degree and two masters degrees wall with the highest honors you could possibly graduated with. My wife has one bachelors… Read more »