My wife and I have been married for 30 years. The 1st year, I kept my panties and nighties hidden away. Then I decided to add ”Her” panties to bed one night. Low and behold she was amazed at how ”excited” I was and how long I remained in that state. That was how I broke the ice. Over the next 28 years, more and more items were added to bedtime. She has never been fond of it but tolerated it. It wasn’t until Halloween 2020 that I fully dressed up with the help of her best friend (whom she had discussed my ”Hobby” with unknown to me). There was hair removal, A LOT of that (I’m a hairy beast). There were stockings, garters, breast forms, wig and make up. There was an excessive amount of liquid courage consumed in order to get me to walk out of that door. But I did it, and it was life changing!

My Wife thought that if I dressed and went out in public one time that would be the end of it. Boy was this one hell of a shock to the both of us. I just can’t describe the rush I felt when we were inside the elevator, walked through the lobby and then arrived at the hotel bar. I was checked out by a guy, and not checked out as in “That’s a Dude in a Dress!” But as in that’s a hot chick. I was also got “Yikes! That’s a Dude in a dress”, so that’s how I knew the difference in the look. Of course I know the what checking-out look is (I’m a guy after all). Not that I wanted to be hit on, but being checked-out meant I had achieved the Holy Grail. I was passable for that one moment.

Now putting all other things aside; I for once had an idea of what it must feel like to be a woman. For one it’s a pain in the butt! It takes a lot of time and work. Second, I always thought when I was checking-out a hot chick that she liked it. Now I know that’s not the case. It’s actually a little scary (I didn’t want to get mauled outside the restroom). I didn’t use the restroom, but that’s where my mind went. Heels hurt after two hours. Fully dressed up, there really is no sexual excitement since everything is tucked, strapped and taped in place. Glue on nails (you use super glue) and make up removal is scary. Why? Well, hell, I didn’t know if it was ALL going to come off. In the end everything came off, and I was back to being Jim.

The thing is, I’m a different Jim than I was before. This Jim doesn’t want to judge people anymore. Now I don’t care if you’re Straight, Gay or whatever. Now I’m not looking at that six-foot-plus tall woman and wondering if she’s a crossdresser like me but brave enough to be out and about.

Now I’m just confused as to why there is so little sexual excitement from dressing like there was in the past. Now when I dress, I want to sit in my chair and drink a glass wine as this profound calm and peace wash over me. This is the part I do not understand the most. Why? Why does it feel this way now? I’m going to accept this and try to find a way to enjoy it and to make it part of my life.

I guess my bottom line is you not only need to, you must, tell your wife/SO about your thrill of cross dressing. Without doing so you are keeping a part of you in hiding and keeping a secret from the only person more important than yourself. Will it be easy to do? No, it won’t. Will it be scary? Yes, yes it will. Will it make things better or worse? I just don’t know. What I do know is that the guilt of hiding it from your wife/SO will go away, and you’ll be able to say something like, “Honey I’m going to lock the bedroom door and spend an hour or two as Jamie.”
It’s worked for us so far.

Thanks for taking the time to read my article girls! Now if you would like to comment on the article or respond to one or more of the questions I’ve posed to you below, feel free to do so!

  • Have you told your wife about your thrill of cross dressing yet or are you still deep in that secret cross dressing closet?
  • Have you ever been out in public in total girl mode and have been checked out by an amiring guy and if you have, how did you feel about being checked out by a guy or several guys?
  • What are some of the limitations your wife or SO places on your thrill of cross dressing?

Thank you all for your time and responses! Sincerely, Jamie!

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Jamie Kane

I'm just a guy who enjoys dressing up. I love Military history and collected Quite a few WWII items. I've been married for over 30 years and have an adult son. I've worked on Aircraft in the Navy and was a Cable TV Technician. Yes, that included climbing Telephone poles. I currently work at a local college. I'm a Veteran and I love computer games, not consoles ( I just can't use the controller).

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Pippi Long
Duchess
Active Member
1 month ago

Hi Jamie, loved your story ! Its amazing how you change your view on things once you go out in public dressed up . My first time I went to a drag show ,I was soo nervous I didnt even look at anyone else ! Let alone check to see if anyone was checking me out. Lol ! To your question about telling your significant other, I did to my wife of 23 years . That Marriage ended in divorce ! I told my girlfriend whom I currently live with, and she doesn’t mind at all . She loves going… Read more »

Lysette Anthony
Member
1 month ago

Hi Jamie. I loved the article and read it right through. My answer to your question is where I am now. I used to only dress for sexual pleasure, whether with my closet lesbian girlfriend or by myself. These days I want to get dressed up and stay that way for as long as I can as it’s no longer for sexual pleasure, it’s part of who I am although I’ve only recently come to that decision. My second wife of 13 years is very manly and would be horrified if I came out, so would my four kids so… Read more »

MelanieElizabeth
Member
1 month ago

Great article Jamie! One thing I can really take away from it is how most people judge others. As I’ve gotten older I’ve found I don’t feel the need to or want to. Everyone has a right to do what makes them happy without ridicule. I’m new to this and haven’t been out in public but I’m looking forward to the experience. Thanks for sharing, I can’t say how much it’s appreciated.

Bettylou Cox
Duchess
Active Member
1 month ago

Hi Jamie, Your story touched home with me several times; the biggest one being the importance of being open with your SO – no matter what. And yes, your perception of the “other side” certainly changes when you realize that you’re one of “them”, now. No guy has ever “hit”on me, nor do I ever expect it to happen. I look to be in my mid-60’s to early 70’s, so not at all likely. I’m actually a decade older, which may account for the absence of any sexual thrill to my Dressing. I do get a boost, and it’s so… Read more »

Catherine
Duchess
Member
1 month ago

Jamie ,I have been married for 35 yrs with 2 adult children ,and as far as I know my wife doesn’t know any thing of my crosdressing ,I don’t do it so much ,try to keep it guiet, but as I grow older I seem to enjoy getting dressed ,though I don’t think my wife would accept me as a woman ,just for so may reasons, as to why I would be better keeping my other side away ,hope fully one day things change ,Catherine

Gwyneth Simpson
Member
1 month ago

I read and liked your article. I hear from everyone telling my SO is important. I for one could never tell my wife. She was run out and spread it to all my family. I don’t want to go through that. I can’t put my family through that.

Mona
Duchess
Trusted Member
1 month ago

Fantastic article, Jamie – thank you. As you say, it is extremely difficult to come out to your wife/SO…I finally found the courage after 30 years of marriage and am glad I did (granted, this is after many, many years of not feeling the need to come out because my cross dressing urges lay dormant for a long time). She wants to nothing to do with it and that’s fine but at least it’s out there. I am always amazed to think that those who dress regularly in secret can get away with it for so long. I think a… Read more »

Kathy Jackson
Active Member
1 month ago

Hi Jamie, I enjoyed reading your article. I can hardly wait to have a chance to talk story over a cup of coffee.

Hugs , Kathy

Dawn Judson
Member
Active Member
1 month ago

Sounds almost like our story, Jamie!

Michelle Cross
Member
1 month ago

When we were first married I put on a pair of her panties as part of foreplay and she was accepting of it. However, when I put on pantyhose or a nightgown she told me to take it off as it was too fem and she did not like it, do I stayed in the closet. Now married 40 years. Several years ago i started wearing panties every day and sometimes pantyhose in the cold weather, which she obviously knows. She has no idea that I dress up fully and go out in public. I know she would not like… Read more »

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