I was born in a small town in ’64. At age 3 my parents knew there was something different about me as I wanted to wear my sister’s pretty clothes and clomp around in mom’s shoes. I wanted everything girly loving purples and pinks.

At age 5 I told my parents I was a girl. That didn’t go over well. Dad took me out to the garage and beat me. Mom called me all kinds of horrid names and told me never mention it again. My dressing like a girl was no longer funny to them. My head was shaved and I was enrolled in school as a boy. I was crushed. The feeling never went away.

At age 11 we moved to a small logging town where transgender was almost unheard of and less accepted. I was again enrolled as a boy. I tried going as a girl and even hiding outfits in my locker and changing when I got to school. My parents were called. Another head shaving and beating. The harassment at school started and I was victimized every day. My mom blamed me for the hard times our family was going through saying dad couldn’t get a job because of me. Those were the most miserable years of my life. Or so I thought.I stayed around the area as it was familiar, working manly jobs but hurting inside.

Crossdresser Heaven - Find Your Tribe

Dad passed in ’90 leaving me with the job of taking care of a bitter old woman. The name calling continued. After she passed I moved on not really having anywhere to go. My niece and her husband offered me a roof over my head and meals to take care of their home as he was diagnosed with cancer and they needed somebody there. One day my niece finally asked me what was on my mind. I told her everything. She went out and bought me some panties and bra’s and a nice outfit but told me I couldn’t wear them as her husband wouldn’t understand.

I’m living in a small oil production town where the people destroy everything they don’t understand or is different. I finally told my brother on one of his trips this way. He told me to move to Atlanta where he and his wife could help and I can be the person I want to be. He’s making the arrangements now.

I recently went to visit my other brother in San Diego. He learned the hard way that I am transgender as I showed up to his bbq in full dress. He’s had a hard time accepting it but he’s really trying. San Diego was one of the best times I’ve ever had as I ran around almost every day dressed. I wish now I had told them years ago. My brother in Atlanta isn’t quite ready for me so I went back to my niece’s house. I started working in and around the house dressed when I had the chance. A couple guys here tried to destroy me but they have been dealt with.

Life is getting better for me here as people are getting used to seeing the tall lady working in and around the house. The woman inside still scratches at the inside of my skull. I can’t wait to get to Atlanta so I can be myself full time. Just let her out. I’ve been here a couple years now and finally met a lady. She’s been so wonderful and supporting. I think things are finally starting to look up for me. Now I’m 52 years young and feeling the pressure of time.

I guess the moral of the story is ladies don’t wait. Trust in your family and true friends. It might take them a while but they will come around. Be who you truly are on the inside. If you want it bad enough you have to work for it. Life is too short. Dont be a small town girl like me.

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I am a transgender girl living in Atlanta Georgia. I knew I was different at a very young age but never had the chance to express myself. Now I'm not holding back. Dont let life pass you by. Be true to yourself. You will get a much more harmonious outcome on life.

Latest posts by Kelsey (Spell Binder) Crawford (see all)

  1. Angela 2 years ago

    Wow Kelsey, what a story! I have been a T-girl for as long as I can remember too.
    One thing is certain as your story attests, we all have the impossible to overcome urge to be the true girls that we are!
    Hugs and kisses, Angela

  2. Tracie lynn Hiett 2 years ago

    That environment was a challenge to be the one that’s different i cant wait to hear from you after you get settled in Atlanta.
    I have a few different things that guided the path I took. I knew that i had a attraction to female atire at 4 or five maybe even earlier, but anyway i was in the 1st grade I decided that i would walk around with my sisters stockings and socks, suntan and shining ,oohh yeah. I had the ribbed tube socks that scrunched down with her keds white as could be. She was 2.5 years order and we would fight about anything and everything. Well before I could get out of the house she tackled me and my sweatpants that concealed the outfit had the leg exposed the socks and she seen them. Furious she pulls the shoe two take her socks off my feet she sees the stockings and she pulls my sweatpants all the way down to find her white shorts and a pair of her pink silk panties. DAMN BUSTED….. well I have the talk with my mom,dad,sis and younger brother of 2.5yrs.yup we are all 3 2.5yrs apart. Dad drills me about being gay and i heard his opinion on them (not good) and my dad was the only one that i wanted to make proud. God bless his heart he was my hero until the day he passed. We were inseparable and best of friends I love and miss him very much. Ok sooo back then he had a disgust attitude towards it,he was sure it was only a phase. Well my sister layed in about steeling her stuff and call me bad names and my Mom said Son do you want to be a a girl and get panties instead of boys briefs for Christmas, all i had to do is say yes to that question waaaaayyyyyy back then but i was not going to disappoint my father so i just said no I don’t and I will never do that again. Yea right….. I just got better at hiding it. I know now that making that decision was a fuse shortening anger driving i don’t care attitude and got me in alot off trouble with the law and
    The guilt off hurting someone past the deserving point to some kind off medical attention. All i was into back then was fighting. I know my sister told a few of our close friends and I used my scrapping talent as a intimidating factor so i wasn’t approachable about it. That’s is what i thought anyway. I should have been in the MMA ,that’s how talented i was. But trouble with the law and all other aspects. I was threatened with military school and lock up and so on and so on. Well my dad realized that when I went to work with him i was calm chilled out and somewhat happy. A little history, my dad was struck by a 83 Cadillac devill 4 door on a major hwy when I was 8yrs old and he was our only source for income. He owned a remodeling company that would take care of all the trades except for air conditioning. He could do it all. Well by the time he could be in a wheelchair he landed a job to add a room onto a house. Well I learned how to use a tape measure and a speed square, skill saw and a 16oz framing hammer. We bonded with the time he gave me a education i was interested in. I wanted to be just like him. He had a, could get along with anyone type of personality. Everywhere we went he fixed all the things we encountered and he was loved by everyone who met him.
    I will share more soon… thanks for the warm welcome and listening… it might take a few sitdowns to get the whole story. I’ve never said any of this to anyone other than my late and x-wife….. huggs y’all

  3. Jackie Wild 2 years ago

    Kelsey your though story is sad one it is one that is so identifiable. And even though I was the only boy with five sister’s and only a mother it wasn’t all one may think it was cracked up to be. The rest of my family were fighter’s, construction worker’s, bartender’s and so fourth. It just sucks that anyone, and I mean anyone would treat us different than anyone else. I mean when was the last time any of us persecuted someone because they didn’t do what we do? I personally cannot think of a time when I looked at someone and became hateful towards them because they don’t live the same lifestyle I do, and you do. Though we are different in some aspects you and I, we stand together with the same needs and wants. Family is huge and want their love and understanding as well as respect.

  4. Josie 2 years ago

    Thank you Kelsey for a painful yet honest account of your life experiences…. It sure is an eye opener…. I wish you all the best as your spend the rest of your life.

  5. Kelsey – You have been through quite a lot just for trying to be who you are. You are one brave lady. I don’t know if I’d still be around if I had to deal with all you have been through. I can only wish you peace and love on your continuing journey to be who you were meant to be.


    • Author

      My dearest April, you can do it also hon. Just keep trying. Its people like yourself that keep me going. If I didn’t have the love and support of others I think I would have finally given up. Be true to yourself hon. Hugs***

  6. VickieJ 2 years ago

    You are right Kelsey. Life is short.

    I know the feeling of not being allowed to be who you are all too well. I hope you have a great life in Atlanta

    • Author

      Vickie, you have to be who you are or you can never be truly happy with yourself. Dont let a few setbacks determin the outcome of your life. Once you find yourself embrace that person and never let go. After all they are part of you and always will be. Hugs***

      • VickieJ 2 years ago

        Thanks Kelsey. You are so right

  7. Julie Gaum Gaum 2 years ago

    Kelsey, you have had more than your share of obstacles – more than anybody else’s experiences I have ever read (Which are a lot of stories). Finally the light at the end of the tunnel!
    Atlanta should be a more friendly environment than most cities so go for it if you can.

    • Author

      Julie, the obstacles make you stronger as you will find out. The only person that can control your life is you. Keep pushing forward. It will get better. The ones that can’t or won’t accept you aren’t in control. Hugs***

  8. Jenny1323 2 years ago

    Thank you so much I have been dealing with this for years and the last week I have been debating coming out as Jenny to the rest of my family. I’m still not sure I’m ready but you have giving me a lot to think about. Thank for you sharing. My mascara is all messed up but I still enjoyed it hehe thank you

    • Author

      Jenny, when the time is right to tell someone you will know. Just don’t let the opportunity pass you by. There are so many new life experiences ot there for you. If you’re not sure how to start maybe ask the most open minded person in your family about how they feel about people like us. Treat it as if you were just having conversation. Go from there. I really hope everything works out for you. Hugs***

      • Jenny1323 2 years ago

        Thank you Kelsey. But unfourtantly I know how they feel about girls like us. It’s ok it will happen just not right now

      • Author

        As I said. When the time is right. Good luck hon.

  9. debbie 2 years ago

    You have experienced some horrible times Kelsey but now girl the best is yet to come and you will be so much happier

    • Author

      Debbie, its people like you that keep me going. Without you and others like you I would have shut down years ago. Its the support and caring that helps us through the hard times. Thank you. Hug***

  10. skippy1965(Cynthia) 2 years ago

    Congratulations on getting to the point where many of us hope to be-willing to do what it takes to be to the world what we have always been on the inside! I hope Atlanta is the place where Kelsey gets to truly shine! Thanks for sharing your inspiring story.


    • Author

      Cynthia, its a long winding road. Sometimes we all get stuck. That’s when we need to rely on others. I could have never done it by myself. I hope we can all get to the point where we don’t have to worry about what others think or how they feel. Keep moving forward sister and never look back. It gets better.

  11. Sue 2 years ago

    You had told me some of your story, but I did not know all. Thank you so much for sharing.
    I hope that you get to Atlanta ASAP, and you can live and be the person that you are inside.

    Hugs honey


    • Author

      My dearest Sue. I’m glad I found you on that other social network. You steered me here and I don’t think I will ever leave. The people here have all been so wonderful. I am so grateful. Thank you hon. Big Hugs to you.

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