During a conversation the other evening with a close friend, who knows about my life choice here in France, she asked a question. I felt I should try to explain. It relates to something that has surfaced over the past five years and causes concern. I wish to share my observations and beliefs about what is happening in the world of gender.

She hesitated a few times, concerned that she may have upset me by asking sensitive or probing questions. I reassured them that when showing my trust by sharing the details of my personal life with another, as with her, there were no boundaries in the discussion. I am happy to talk about any aspect of my life and to convey information with honesty and truth to the best of my ability. It is important for me to speak the truth, as I know it can help others understand what it is to be transgender and what it is really about. Not some hyped version as portrayed in the media. Anything that I can do to break down the false perceptions and beliefs created in our world, I will gladly do.

She described a topic that had caused her some confusion based on what she had seen with increasing frequency in her daily life, business, and on external media. She referenced an article in the Daily Mail newspaper about the UK National Health Service and the removal of the word “Woman” on pages about ovarian cancer on their website. Basically, dehumanising women. This is an example of how they have changed the text: it was previously read as “Ovarian cancer is one of the most common types of cancer in women” to “Anyone with ovaries can get cancer.” Is this the tip of the iceberg? I feel as if this may be linked to the idea that men can have babies now, no doubt a result of today’s modern science! Midwives are also being taught how to talk about birthing to men; I assume in preparation to allow for those genetically modified or implanted with a womb in the not-so-distant future.

My friend and I had previously talked about the feminisation of men, and trans men participating in women’s sporting events, with the expectation of being treated exactly the same as a natural born woman. I refuse to use the word that appeared in 1994 that links the Latin word Cis with sexual or gender. The word Cis means ‘on the side of. For some reason, this newly formed word is preferred over Natural born woman or man. Using Natural should offend no one in its use or application, as we are all Natural. While applying a word that isn’t really required opens the potential to divide people and to create factions that may be victimized, monetized, and much more within our world.

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I understand most may not agree with me, but we should bring it out into the open. While I live and represent myself to the world as a woman, I understand I will never be a Natural woman. I will always be the father of my children. No surgery or medical procedure can alter that – Fact! In my understanding of life in general, I cannot fathom how someone who has transitioned sincerely expects to be considered, and treated, 100% as a gender they identify as. Even after hormone treatment and/ or surgery, it does not change the basic biology of that person.

Of course, medication can create chemical changes in the body that affect the brain and physical body, but we have the same DNA and blueprint of life with which we were born. I don’t see how that can be challenged reasonably. How we present ourselves in the world is a choice we all have, and many do this in ways that are not about gender and unchallenged by an internal battle of gender identity. However, when we choose to identify in a gender-orientated way, we are challenging social tolerance and acceptance, governmental structures, and order. In our recent history, that was enough to be imprisoned, victimized, or even murdered. Moving outside of a defined mindset in society is often suppressed and dogmatised, to a point where people have lost their careers and lives because of it.

This is not my main point here, but it is an integral part that shows some of what has been going on within this particular and vulnerable section of humanity.

This is about how society is influencing and affecting the perception, beliefs, and understanding of the gender-confused community, and how it is thereby perceived by the rest of the population. I am trying hard to use terms that are inclusive. Where is this gender-confused world going and what is the limit of sensibility, if there is one? Should I be able to identify as another race or colour, or an animal? Yes, I know that sounds absurd, but where will it stop? Further division doesn’t serve the people who are isolated by words of segregation and separation. Those people simply become a target for marketing, or singled out for any chosen purpose, including attacked!

Getting back to my main point. Referring to an interview that brought some worry information to light, relating to young women in particular, who are being influenced and encouraged to transition, especially in America. The interview centered on a book titled Irreversible Damage by Abigal Shrier.* If I have understood correctly, a change to the laws in the US allows underage females to request medication and surgical processes to change gender without parental consent. A law that rules a psychotherapist or doctor isn’t allowed to refuse any such treatment if requested, facing the loss of their license to practice should they do so. As a result, many young women have fallen victim to the malpractice, leading them to transition, only to regret the decision after surgery and later in life.

Social and peer influence has created a rapid increase in the number of teenage girls identifying as transgender, involving irreversible surgical interventions that can have a huge potential psychological impact besides the physical aspects.

There are numerous interviews, on various platforms, with young women who have suffered this malpractice, who discuss how life-changing procedures were approved at an age when they had not fully developed into their birth gender, or with a full understanding of themselves. Resulting in heartbreaking accounts of troubled awareness at realising what they had done to themselves and thus being remorseful in hindsight.

When bringing to focus on what is happening within the gender questioning community, we must look at both natural genders. How men and women are being affected through the media and how the narrative of today is to change the view of themselves in a way that feels somewhat like a fashion, trend, or fad. It is laced with dire consequences for individuals and society. Almost as if it is being driven by a kind of social agenda that is not yet clear.

En Femme Style

There are already too many acronyms or names for groups of people in the world, we do not need more. What began as Gay transmuted to LBGT and has now become an ever-growing acronym for those who need to identify in ways that differ from the majority. Ultimately, we are all either male or female. Any variation of gender identity is fine and is completely a personal aspect of the self. We do not need an acronym that uses the whole alphabet to be fully inclusive and doesn’t offend anyone. Being a human being should be inclusive enough for everyone.

Looking at the feminisation of men in the world. There is an increased use of beauty products and manicures, images in magazines, and the media. Add in the male issue of erectile problems for those under 30, masculinity is being challenged, made fun of, and mocked. This is apparent in advertising, which has been a powerful tool in changing people’s perceptions and awareness for decades. These things silently filter into society and into the minds of men, women, and children, altering perceptions, thoughts, and beliefs about themselves and others.

Anything that destabilizes a person can lead them to seek different ways of identifying and wanting to remain part of ‘the crowd’ and to be socially acceptable. Being considered as an outsider or odd can damage one in this materialistic world. Where celebrities and pop stars are portrayed as icons to be followed and copied. A way where trends are created and instigated, often with an agenda of garnering influence, money, or manipulation.

Overall, I feel that this appears as an attempt to damage the self-identity of both men and women. Creating confusion and division, in contrast to the belief that we are the only ones who can determine our identity.

I sincerely hope to have provided a view of what is being introduced into our reality across the world, into the already confused and vulnerable world of gender. There are many other areas of society that are being affected in similar ways, which includes the education of children.

Below is a reference to the tagged interview mentioned above.

* An interview by Jordan Peterson with Abigal Shrier – https://youtu.be/fSKQfATa-1I

En Femme Style

 

 

 

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Angela Booth
Active Member
1 month ago

Well done to you Sophie as this reflects the way I see things too.You cannot change your biology and this drive to omit the word woman from text is absurd. As one commentator puts it -LGBTQWERTY+ It has gone insane as it seems that new identifications come out every month as to out do each other to be more special. I do believe reading some where where a person wishes to be identified as some creature and is being supported to have a label attached and accepted. It may be fake news but in this furore not unexpected. I do… Read more »

Molly
Duchess
Active Member
1 month ago

I am disappointed that this widely discredited book ( Irreversible Damage by Abigal Shrier.*) has been allowed to stand as something to be concerned about on this site.

https://sciencebasedmedicine.org/irreversible-damage-to-the-trans-community-a-critical-review-of-abigail-shriers-book-irreversible-damage-part-one/

This author has been shown to be the exact opposite of a friend of any in the LGBTQ space and widely discredited and often cited by the extreme right.

Sophie, while I will defend your right to express your views, I’m afraid that I find myself in deep disagreement with the content of this article.

Abigail Kingston
Active Member
1 month ago

Sophie, thanks for a great article. I was beginning to think I was the only one thinking this way. I wholeheartedly agree men are men and women are women biologically speaking. And I do have grave concerns about how there is an appearance of eliminating the term “woman”. I don’t believe this is a healthy path to go down in our society, and I fear repercussions on us as crossdressers when out in public dressed enfemme. Like most on here, I just prefer to be left alone and not feel like I am trying to be some sort of activist… Read more »

Lauren Mugnaia
Duchess
Active Member
1 month ago

I am inclined to agree with Molly, this book has been widely discredited and if we listen to these people’s point of view towards crossdressers and transgender women, we all might as well rush back into the deepest part of the closet and slam the door tightly closed and never dare to emerge again. For those who wish to maintain a stealth existence, that might be where they are already, but many of us have taken the steps to become the persons we were born as and will enjoy living in the light. There’s a rush in the states and… Read more »

Amy Lase
Duchess
Member
1 month ago
Reply to  Lauren Mugnaia

Sorry, but it is hysterical to think that Shrier’s writings point people like us back into the closet. She merely suggests that adolescent assertions of gender identity may be evanescent. What things did you feel as an adolescent that now seem immature to you? Quite a few I imagine, and I confess to many myself. Our rights as trans people are increasingly recognized worldwide and will only continue to grow. Fret not.
Amy
xoxoxo

KylieCC Confirming
KylieCC Confirming
1 month ago

To call this a succinct, lucid and well thought out essay on an extraordinarily integrated complexity would be to minimize how beautifully and thought provoking this is. As I was reading I was nodding or commenting but wanted to see how encompassing this would be.
You must, please please, take this prologue and bring it out in portions to digest and ingest. So many facets and aspects to explore. Thank you. K

KylieCC Confirming
KylieCC Confirming
1 month ago

Give me time to extract out the themes that should not be glossed over. I will do that.

Celeste Starre
Active Member
1 month ago

“Social and peer influence has created a rapid increase in the number of teenage girls identifying as transgender, involving irreversible surgical interventions that can have a huge potential psychological impact besides the physical aspects.”

What surgeries are you talking about? FTM surgery is extremely complex and takes years and multiple operations. I have a good friend who has had over 20 operations thus far and still isn’t finished.

Celeste Starre
Active Member
1 month ago

As I understand it puberty blocking HRT is the proper starting point when dealing with transgender youth and surgery is not an option until one has reached the age of consent which is generally 18.

Amy Lase
Duchess
Member
1 month ago

Brava Sig.na Frenchie! A bravura analysis. True, it’s hedged at every turn so as to be inclusive while adhering to scientific fact, but it covers all the angles in a fraught topic. You have received a couple of rejoinders asserting that Abigail Shrier’s book has been debunked. It has not. Her assertions, too, have been carefully hedged and are based on hundreds of interviews. Seems to me that those who take issue with Shrier need to explain why Sweden and Finland have both recently backed off so-called gender-affirming policies for young women and the UK has started to close the… Read more »

Ruth-Ann
Active Member
1 month ago

This is an excellent and well thought out article. It strikes me that some of the women here have valuable insights that the young, struggling with gender identity, should be made aware of.

Ruth-Ann
Active Member
1 month ago

Hi Sophie,
thank you. I do enjoy your writing and well reasoned arguments. I remember some of my own youth and I didn’t have to deal with many of the complexities that are hitting the young now. The experiences on here from those who have lived full lives (and have cd tendencies) could be invaluable to the youth struggling with these issues.

Teri Linnealis
Member
1 month ago

There are so many wonderful points in this article that I wouldn’t know where to start agreeing. Well done, well thought out and researched. Thank You, TERI

Alicen Thairms
Active Member
1 month ago

A really good article; examining a number of important points.

The two genetic genders are embedded in our language, society and culture. Published material is being written to avoid indicating which gender you are (to avoid discrimination); but it tends to the impersonal – “if you are a person with xxx , then you may ….” . This can make people feel de-personalised and upset if the subject content is part of their heart-felt identity.

New words, terminology and societal change is needed – it takes time to come about.

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