Passing… it seems like the holy grail for crossdressers. If we could work hard enough, lose that extra pound and practice voice lessons for another hour – maybe, just maybe we could pass as a woman. In our minds we’ve build up passing as something elusive that is to be dreamed about and never achieved.
Yet passing is closer, and easier than you’d think if you let go of the notion that everyone, all the time must only every perceive you as the woman you’re trying to impersonate.
Here are nineteen practical tips from Kelly Stevens for how to pass as a woman. If you’re serious about passing you’ll find more high quality advice in the world’s best crossdressing guide.
How to Crossdress and Pass As A Woman
1. Dress your age. If you aren’t a junior, don’t buy your clothing in the juniors department
2. Dress appropriately for the situation. A cocktail dress at the mall isn’t optimum. Make up needs to be appropriate.
3. Crossdressing is an illusion. A genetic woman can go out without any make up and can look a mess but not look like a man. You can do the same as a man and not look like a woman. You need to constantly preserve the illusion and this involves diverting attention away from your flaws and using clothing and most importantly accessories to preserve the illusion. I do not need glasses but found they feminize me so I bought some (in the women’s section of an eyeglass store). wearing men’s glasses simply is not good enough in 99% of the people I know. I wear a hair band, diamond engagement ring, chain bracelet, necklace, earrings that dangle, and red lipstick because many people have critiqued me and said these things feminize me. The red lipstick and nail polish divert the eyes away from other parts of me.
4. Choose a wig wisely, This may be among the most important things you do. Length, color, style all matter. (If it is too perfect, it will look fake.)
5. Hair removal is always an issue. You think nothing of spending a great deal of money on clothing and cosmetics so spend some on a quality razor. Consider hair removal on your face if necessary. I had laser hair removal and it was the best thing I ever did. Use the right foundation to cover the beard but shave it off first! covering is not as good as removing. Shave closely and several times.
6. Apply make up skillfully.
7. Cover your arms if you need to. My arms are larger than a woman’s so I wear some type of top. This means I never get to wear sexy cocktail gowns and expect to pass but I can usually find something nice with sleeves. Cover your Navy tatoo!
8. Keep your skirt length appropriate. In fact, keep everything appropriate. Anything that looks out of the ordinary will be noticed and once you are noticed you will not pass. Much of the time if others really noticed me i would not pass yet somehow I pass extremely well. Why? Because I blend in and fly under their radar.
9. Avoid direct confrontation with anyone and when it i necessary to interface with a waiter, store clerk, etc. be prepared. When i go to the grocery store i know they will inevitably ask me paper or plastic so I am ready and reach for a plastic bag. I know I will be asked cash or credit so I have my cash or credit card in my hand where they can see it before they ask. But if I have to speak, I speak softly and quietly and smile.In a restaurant, point to the menu item as you order. This reduces the need to fully speak in detail.
10. Choose where you go in public carefully to minimize problems. If you don’t really pass, stay out of the ladies’ room. I go out at any time of the day or night in Times Square and pass but I avoid groups of teenagers like the plague. They will notice and if they notice they will not notice quietly.
11. Walk like a woman not a caveman.
12. Relax. If you are afraid, you will walk like you are afraid. Have confidence.
13. I’ve seen many men who do not prepare themselves to pass. One CD friends is an auto mechanic and he shows up at support group meetings with black grease on his hands.
14. Eat and drink like a lady. I love beer but more women drink wine so i drink wine. Men stuff their faces. Women are much more, well, feminine in how they eat. Study female behavior so you can emulate it properly. A word about smoking. I personally feel that smoking is one of the easiest means to tell if someone is a CD or a real woman. Few men can smoke like a woman. You think you can, but you can’t.
15. Carry a mirror and use it. Men don’t need much attention but women need constant attention. Walking from the parking lot to the Mall can result in blown hair. Eating can alter make up. Be prepared.
16. Smell like a woman.
17. Pay attention to detail. You may not be into make up and real women don’t need it to look like a woman but it will really help you. Curl your lashes. (No, don’t use artificial lashes). Keep your clothing stylish. No, that man’s coat isn’t going to pass as a woman’s coat. Details! If you have a huge Adam’s Apple, wear turtle necks. Learn to adapt.
18. We all want to have our own set of 52 DD tits but if you wear 52DD tits you are going to attract attention and you will therefore be noticed.
19. Be self aware. Know your limitations. Unless you have practiced dancing like a girl you probably won’t do it like a girl.
And there you have it – nineteen practical tips for crossdressing that don’t require night classes or intentisive training. Don’t stop now, there is so much more to learn about crossdressing – learn how to pass as a woman.
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Can I add one?
Coco Chanel had a rule about accessories: on your way out the door, take one off. Accessorizing is much more art than science, and less is almost always more.
great tips i will pass them on…and thank you for your prayers and words of encouragement…hugs arla
You left out one,
Never go shopping or in public places with other xdressers if you don’t want to be “read"
loved you article
Molly
Molly, too true 🙂
Allyson, I can see how we sometimes go a bit overboard with the accessories. For myself I probably go out too light on accesories – I’m not sure where I missed the desire to over accessorize 🙂
Some interesting advice. thanks for sharing. I think passing’s nice if you can get it, but I think we can get hung up on it. If you’ve got a very male body – big shoulders, strong jaw, etc – its unlikely you’ll pass close up (I know I never would), so why sweat it? Just go and enjoy your day. 🙂 The ‘fear’ one is particularly true – regardless of how you’re dressed. What about: Smile more… just, maybe not as much as The Joker would. 🙂 Oh, and practice walking in your footwear before you leave. If the shoes… Read more »
great site and excellent content. I will be here often.
A little tiny wrist watch will make your wrist look even bigger. Pick either a very small unisex watch, or a lergish ladie’s watch. I know one TG woman who insists on weaaring a little tiny (0/0) ladie’s Bulova that is a very good watch, but it looks lost on her large wrist bones. I am a clock and watch repairman, so I notice these things, but you would be surprised how many watch collectors there are out there, both male and female, and believe me, all collectors notice everyone’s watch.
Lizzie that’s a great point. It’s about proportions, anything that looks “too small" will accentuate how large you are. Whether it’s jewelry, a watch or that too short skirt.
Is that World’s Best Cross Dressing Guide legit?
DG, it’s a good resource of crossdressing advice. It doesn’t substitute for practice or personal femininity training. If you’d like to be more feminine it’s a good place to start.
Hello all, I, for one am not overly concerned about " passing " per se, I really just want to be able to go out somewhere and not be stared at or spoken about behind my back or even snickered at as I pass by a group of people. Not that I try to be read, I just want to be myself. Of course, there will always be the one person in a crowd to make a big stink about a crossdresser in a crowd. I’ve seen it happen more than once and I cringed for the person being the… Read more »
Wear Tall, tall, tall heels! (But not hooker heels) trust me, this helps! (and learn to walk in them, too). It will make your feet look smaller. Tone it down with the clothes! I know, I know we can’t help being dressed better than the GGs ;), but if you wear something that’s a bit more in style rather than the most frilliest, daintiest, bedazzling thing you can find, you won’t get as many strange looks. If you are muscley/stocky, work with what you have! Pecs can be turned into sexy cleavage with the help of tape, and man boobs… Read more »
Thongs/G-strings, lingerie, skirts, perfect fitting dresses, make up and so much more – the right heels is by far the sexiest and most femanine thing you can do. I agree about the stripper heels – DO NOT go out on the town in those unless it’s October 31. Not being bossy, just a suggestion. I have some 6″ stripper heels – the clear slutty kind. They are all kinds of fun, but bring me to a total height of 6’7″. 3″ – 4″ heels seem to work best for me. Makes my feet look perfect. Now if there was something… Read more »
very informative.
WHenever I am considering going out, be it to the local convenience store for gas and coffee, or to dinner and a show, I think about what my (now ex) wives would have worn. For casual day wear, I dress as my wives used to when they went to work. For evening wear, unless I am going to a really dressy function (think one where if you went as a man, you’d feel comfortable in a tuxedo) then I forego the little black dress, and CFM heels. If I am not wearing the little black dress, I use eye shadow… Read more »
Great advice Elizabeth! Don’t wear your finest just to go grocery shopping 🙂