Passing… it seems like the holy grail for crossdressers. If we could work hard enough, lose that extra pound and practice voice lessons for another hour – maybe, just maybe we could pass as a woman. In our minds we’ve build up passing as something elusive that is to be dreamed about and never achieved.
Yet passing is closer, and easier than you’d think if you let go of the notion that everyone, all the time must only every perceive you as the woman you’re trying to impersonate.
Here are nineteen practical tips from Kelly Stevens for how to pass as a woman. If you’re serious about passing you’ll find more high quality advice in the world’s best crossdressing guide.
How to Crossdress and Pass As A Woman
1. Dress your age. If you aren’t a junior, don’t buy your clothing in the juniors department
2. Dress appropriately for the situation. A cocktail dress at the mall isn’t optimum. Make up needs to be appropriate.
3. Crossdressing is an illusion. A genetic woman can go out without any make up and can look a mess but not look like a man. You can do the same as a man and not look like a woman. You need to constantly preserve the illusion and this involves diverting attention away from your flaws and using clothing and most importantly accessories to preserve the illusion. I do not need glasses but found they feminize me so I bought some (in the women’s section of an eyeglass store). wearing men’s glasses simply is not good enough in 99% of the people I know. I wear a hair band, diamond engagement ring, chain bracelet, necklace, earrings that dangle, and red lipstick because many people have critiqued me and said these things feminize me. The red lipstick and nail polish divert the eyes away from other parts of me.
4. Choose a wig wisely, This may be among the most important things you do. Length, color, style all matter. (If it is too perfect, it will look fake.)
5. Hair removal is always an issue. You think nothing of spending a great deal of money on clothing and cosmetics so spend some on a quality razor. Consider hair removal on your face if necessary. I had laser hair removal and it was the best thing I ever did. Use the right foundation to cover the beard but shave it off first! covering is not as good as removing. Shave closely and several times.
6. Apply make up skillfully.
7. Cover your arms if you need to. My arms are larger than a woman’s so I wear some type of top. This means I never get to wear sexy cocktail gowns and expect to pass but I can usually find something nice with sleeves. Cover your Navy tatoo!
8. Keep your skirt length appropriate. In fact, keep everything appropriate. Anything that looks out of the ordinary will be noticed and once you are noticed you will not pass. Much of the time if others really noticed me i would not pass yet somehow I pass extremely well. Why? Because I blend in and fly under their radar.
9. Avoid direct confrontation with anyone and when it i necessary to interface with a waiter, store clerk, etc. be prepared. When i go to the grocery store i know they will inevitably ask me paper or plastic so I am ready and reach for a plastic bag. I know I will be asked cash or credit so I have my cash or credit card in my hand where they can see it before they ask. But if I have to speak, I speak softly and quietly and smile.In a restaurant, point to the menu item as you order. This reduces the need to fully speak in detail.
10. Choose where you go in public carefully to minimize problems. If you don’t really pass, stay out of the ladies’ room. I go out at any time of the day or night in Times Square and pass but I avoid groups of teenagers like the plague. They will notice and if they notice they will not notice quietly.
11. Walk like a woman not a caveman.
12. Relax. If you are afraid, you will walk like you are afraid. Have confidence.
13. I’ve seen many men who do not prepare themselves to pass. One CD friends is an auto mechanic and he shows up at support group meetings with black grease on his hands.
14. Eat and drink like a lady. I love beer but more women drink wine so i drink wine. Men stuff their faces. Women are much more, well, feminine in how they eat. Study female behavior so you can emulate it properly. A word about smoking. I personally feel that smoking is one of the easiest means to tell if someone is a CD or a real woman. Few men can smoke like a woman. You think you can, but you can’t.
15. Carry a mirror and use it. Men don’t need much attention but women need constant attention. Walking from the parking lot to the Mall can result in blown hair. Eating can alter make up. Be prepared.
16. Smell like a woman.
17. Pay attention to detail. You may not be into make up and real women don’t need it to look like a woman but it will really help you. Curl your lashes. (No, don’t use artificial lashes). Keep your clothing stylish. No, that man’s coat isn’t going to pass as a woman’s coat. Details! If you have a huge Adam’s Apple, wear turtle necks. Learn to adapt.
18. We all want to have our own set of 52 DD tits but if you wear 52DD tits you are going to attract attention and you will therefore be noticed.
19. Be self aware. Know your limitations. Unless you have practiced dancing like a girl you probably won’t do it like a girl.
And there you have it – nineteen practical tips for crossdressing that don’t require night classes or intentisive training. Don’t stop now, there is so much more to learn about crossdressing – learn how to pass as a woman.
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INcidentally, aboiut watches: (I just re-read my post from a year or so ago). You can find really good smaller watches in antique malls. Elgin’s first waterproof came out in about 1920, and measures about 1″ in diameter. It was marketed as a men’s watch, but in this era will pass nicely as a ladies. The same thing goes for 1920-1930 Bulova tank shapes. They are smaller than the modern ones, and will pass nicely as either a men’s or a ladies watch. Either of those are available on ebay and in antique malls for about $100.00, in gold-filled or sterling… Read more »
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very, very bad advice for the most part. Comes from delusional crossdressers.
I dress for relaxation I don’t try to compete with wemon and there dressing . I just like the way the clothes feel on me. I just do it in priviate so i don’t try to with anyone .
I agree with the advice.Dont dress to attract attention or you will probably do so for the wrong reason.Wear the best most lady like clothes make up shoes and accessories you can afford. Make sure things are coordinated. Practice going out in quiet places to begin with. Maybe go for a drive making sure you have full control of the car in your girlie shoes or boots!
Hello im elizabeth and a cross dresser and find articles verry helpfull and need plenty of help
I live by this advice, Always go out efem never have a problem. I go every wear dressed up. Every crossdresser should follow these tips.
After the shaving,and putting on your makeup,and most of all those gorgeous heels are on,everything is on.I know that I’ll be safe and the nervousness fades after the first look you get from that hot guy that tells his friend he wants you.There is nothing more exhilarating in a gurls life than to feel like a sexy woman…Loni
Such good points. From my own experience of going out for the first time at the age of 62 I was so worried of being found out, but your point 3 is absolutely spot on. It is all an illusion. In generally we all see what we are expecting to see and the important thing is not to stand out or do something that provokes the illusion to be questioned. Good shoes and accessories are essential to finish off our look and perhaps complete the colour co-ordination.
Thanks for looking after us girls so well.
Love Wendy
Hi Girls,
I forgot to add one more point from my experience. Always give a smile, especially when looking at another women, it’s expected and a nice part of the illusion. It’s an important woman thing as men just don’t do it.
Love Wendy
There´s one very important thing that really helps in crosdressin succesfully, it is: SMILE
there´s nothing more charming than a femenine smile and sometimes we are too worried about our outing and we forget to smile, smile as you go out, smile if meeting someone at the door, smile at people you meet walking along the sidewalk, smile as you walk or wait or whatever, SMILE!!!
it never fails
My favorite tip Karla! 🙂