Passing… it seems like the holy grail for crossdressers. If we could work hard enough, lose that extra pound and practice voice lessons for another hour – maybe, just maybe we could pass as a woman. In our minds we’ve build up passing as something elusive that is to be dreamed about and never achieved.
Yet passing is closer, and easier than you’d think if you let go of the notion that everyone, all the time must only every perceive you as the woman you’re trying to impersonate.
Here are nineteen practical tips from Kelly Stevens for how to pass as a woman. If you’re serious about passing you’ll find more high quality advice in the world’s best crossdressing guide.
How to Crossdress and Pass As A Woman
1. Dress your age. If you aren’t a junior, don’t buy your clothing in the juniors department
2. Dress appropriately for the situation. A cocktail dress at the mall isn’t optimum. Make up needs to be appropriate.
3. Crossdressing is an illusion. A genetic woman can go out without any make up and can look a mess but not look like a man. You can do the same as a man and not look like a woman. You need to constantly preserve the illusion and this involves diverting attention away from your flaws and using clothing and most importantly accessories to preserve the illusion. I do not need glasses but found they feminize me so I bought some (in the women’s section of an eyeglass store). wearing men’s glasses simply is not good enough in 99% of the people I know. I wear a hair band, diamond engagement ring, chain bracelet, necklace, earrings that dangle, and red lipstick because many people have critiqued me and said these things feminize me. The red lipstick and nail polish divert the eyes away from other parts of me.
4. Choose a wig wisely, This may be among the most important things you do. Length, color, style all matter. (If it is too perfect, it will look fake.)
5. Hair removal is always an issue. You think nothing of spending a great deal of money on clothing and cosmetics so spend some on a quality razor. Consider hair removal on your face if necessary. I had laser hair removal and it was the best thing I ever did. Use the right foundation to cover the beard but shave it off first! covering is not as good as removing. Shave closely and several times.
6. Apply make up skillfully.
7. Cover your arms if you need to. My arms are larger than a woman’s so I wear some type of top. This means I never get to wear sexy cocktail gowns and expect to pass but I can usually find something nice with sleeves. Cover your Navy tatoo!
8. Keep your skirt length appropriate. In fact, keep everything appropriate. Anything that looks out of the ordinary will be noticed and once you are noticed you will not pass. Much of the time if others really noticed me i would not pass yet somehow I pass extremely well. Why? Because I blend in and fly under their radar.
9. Avoid direct confrontation with anyone and when it i necessary to interface with a waiter, store clerk, etc. be prepared. When i go to the grocery store i know they will inevitably ask me paper or plastic so I am ready and reach for a plastic bag. I know I will be asked cash or credit so I have my cash or credit card in my hand where they can see it before they ask. But if I have to speak, I speak softly and quietly and smile.In a restaurant, point to the menu item as you order. This reduces the need to fully speak in detail.
10. Choose where you go in public carefully to minimize problems. If you don’t really pass, stay out of the ladies’ room. I go out at any time of the day or night in Times Square and pass but I avoid groups of teenagers like the plague. They will notice and if they notice they will not notice quietly.
11. Walk like a woman not a caveman.
12. Relax. If you are afraid, you will walk like you are afraid. Have confidence.
13. I’ve seen many men who do not prepare themselves to pass. One CD friends is an auto mechanic and he shows up at support group meetings with black grease on his hands.
14. Eat and drink like a lady. I love beer but more women drink wine so i drink wine. Men stuff their faces. Women are much more, well, feminine in how they eat. Study female behavior so you can emulate it properly. A word about smoking. I personally feel that smoking is one of the easiest means to tell if someone is a CD or a real woman. Few men can smoke like a woman. You think you can, but you can’t.
15. Carry a mirror and use it. Men don’t need much attention but women need constant attention. Walking from the parking lot to the Mall can result in blown hair. Eating can alter make up. Be prepared.
16. Smell like a woman.
17. Pay attention to detail. You may not be into make up and real women don’t need it to look like a woman but it will really help you. Curl your lashes. (No, don’t use artificial lashes). Keep your clothing stylish. No, that man’s coat isn’t going to pass as a woman’s coat. Details! If you have a huge Adam’s Apple, wear turtle necks. Learn to adapt.
18. We all want to have our own set of 52 DD tits but if you wear 52DD tits you are going to attract attention and you will therefore be noticed.
19. Be self aware. Know your limitations. Unless you have practiced dancing like a girl you probably won’t do it like a girl.
And there you have it – nineteen practical tips for crossdressing that don’t require night classes or intentisive training. Don’t stop now, there is so much more to learn about crossdressing – learn how to pass as a woman.
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Vanessa, thank you so much for all your wonderful advice on this site. You are so inspiring. I hope that very soon I will have the self esteem and confidence to go out dressed. And with all your great advice, I’m sure I’ll be able to pass.
Definitely smile …. and present yourself with confidence. But unless you have one of those fog horn male voices don’t be afraid to interact with people. Half the fun of going out for me is not being alone. Store clerks, restaurant staff … even casual conversation with a stranger can really make you feel good as a woman. Work on a feminine voice. (I practice on may daily commute).
I realize that everyone is different, and some have a harder time than others, but, I say your main accessory is confidence. If your going out—-don’t hide, and be proud of who you are. You will be surprised that your ease will make others at ease also!
im still scared to go out dress like a girl in public the complex i live in is a 6 unit complex and my grilfreind wont let me step outside in daylight dress as a female or at night when its dark out at night my family dont know im dressing as a female how do you tell them
That was a great article not only about “passing" but a confidence builder as well. I have been dressing as a woman all my life (50 plus years) and have adapted to almost all of your suggested tips. The only thing that I regret is not having the confidence earlier in my life to be who I really am, I AM A WOMAN!!!!!
Love and kisses , this article is fantastic , but I have two comments . First learn how to,walk like a woman , and how to apply makeup and dress . For God Sakes go to gay bars or whatever BUT PLEASE DO NOT GO OUT TO A MALL OR IN PUBLIC IN YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE OR WORRIED BECAUSE IT WILL SHOW . The Law Of Attraction says YOU WILL GET WHAT YOU ATE THINKING ABOUT , If you expect or worried about something happening , It Will ! Gay bars or transgender friendly places are for you if you… Read more »
i have a freind that is willing to take me to a gay bar dressed as a female should i go as a female help
i have been dressing for some time, im a older man 5ft.10in. i always wear my skirts short because that is the way i like them, i wear a 38b cup bra so not to be to big, inthis day and time not to many people say anything mosat just dont care what i have on, so dont be afraid just go for it love you all
I’m sixty eight, but want to dress like a twenties something chick. I also don’t care to wear regular clothes and sensible shoes, I want to dress like a female lounge lizard. I care more about my lingerie than my outer clothing. I guess I’ll have to stay semi secluded and out of malls. I have under dressed all of my life and I think I’m too old to learn or care about passing. Good article though, good tips. Thanks for the info, even if I can’t quite swing it.
I can say this. I have been blessed with lashes. All the men in my family have them and none of the genetic women do, go figure. My grandfather had to cut his to keep them from rubbing his glasses. My brothers and I have always received comments from women we meet about how jealous they are about our eyelashes.