Passing… it seems like the holy grail for crossdressers. If we could work hard enough, lose that extra pound and practice voice lessons for another hour – maybe, just maybe we could pass as a woman. In our minds we’ve build up passing as something elusive that is to be dreamed about and never achieved.
Yet passing is closer, and easier than you’d think if you let go of the notion that everyone, all the time must only every perceive you as the woman you’re trying to impersonate.
Here are nineteen practical tips from Kelly Stevens for how to pass as a woman. If you’re serious about passing you’ll find more high quality advice in the world’s best crossdressing guide.
How to Crossdress and Pass As A Woman
1. Dress your age. If you aren’t a junior, don’t buy your clothing in the juniors department
2. Dress appropriately for the situation. A cocktail dress at the mall isn’t optimum. Make up needs to be appropriate.
3. Crossdressing is an illusion. A genetic woman can go out without any make up and can look a mess but not look like a man. You can do the same as a man and not look like a woman. You need to constantly preserve the illusion and this involves diverting attention away from your flaws and using clothing and most importantly accessories to preserve the illusion. I do not need glasses but found they feminize me so I bought some (in the women’s section of an eyeglass store). wearing men’s glasses simply is not good enough in 99% of the people I know. I wear a hair band, diamond engagement ring, chain bracelet, necklace, earrings that dangle, and red lipstick because many people have critiqued me and said these things feminize me. The red lipstick and nail polish divert the eyes away from other parts of me.
4. Choose a wig wisely, This may be among the most important things you do. Length, color, style all matter. (If it is too perfect, it will look fake.)
5. Hair removal is always an issue. You think nothing of spending a great deal of money on clothing and cosmetics so spend some on a quality razor. Consider hair removal on your face if necessary. I had laser hair removal and it was the best thing I ever did. Use the right foundation to cover the beard but shave it off first! covering is not as good as removing. Shave closely and several times.
6. Apply make up skillfully.
7. Cover your arms if you need to. My arms are larger than a woman’s so I wear some type of top. This means I never get to wear sexy cocktail gowns and expect to pass but I can usually find something nice with sleeves. Cover your Navy tatoo!
8. Keep your skirt length appropriate. In fact, keep everything appropriate. Anything that looks out of the ordinary will be noticed and once you are noticed you will not pass. Much of the time if others really noticed me i would not pass yet somehow I pass extremely well. Why? Because I blend in and fly under their radar.
9. Avoid direct confrontation with anyone and when it i necessary to interface with a waiter, store clerk, etc. be prepared. When i go to the grocery store i know they will inevitably ask me paper or plastic so I am ready and reach for a plastic bag. I know I will be asked cash or credit so I have my cash or credit card in my hand where they can see it before they ask. But if I have to speak, I speak softly and quietly and smile.In a restaurant, point to the menu item as you order. This reduces the need to fully speak in detail.
10. Choose where you go in public carefully to minimize problems. If you don’t really pass, stay out of the ladies’ room. I go out at any time of the day or night in Times Square and pass but I avoid groups of teenagers like the plague. They will notice and if they notice they will not notice quietly.
11. Walk like a woman not a caveman.
12. Relax. If you are afraid, you will walk like you are afraid. Have confidence.
13. I’ve seen many men who do not prepare themselves to pass. One CD friends is an auto mechanic and he shows up at support group meetings with black grease on his hands.
14. Eat and drink like a lady. I love beer but more women drink wine so i drink wine. Men stuff their faces. Women are much more, well, feminine in how they eat. Study female behavior so you can emulate it properly. A word about smoking. I personally feel that smoking is one of the easiest means to tell if someone is a CD or a real woman. Few men can smoke like a woman. You think you can, but you can’t.
15. Carry a mirror and use it. Men don’t need much attention but women need constant attention. Walking from the parking lot to the Mall can result in blown hair. Eating can alter make up. Be prepared.
16. Smell like a woman.
17. Pay attention to detail. You may not be into make up and real women don’t need it to look like a woman but it will really help you. Curl your lashes. (No, don’t use artificial lashes). Keep your clothing stylish. No, that man’s coat isn’t going to pass as a woman’s coat. Details! If you have a huge Adam’s Apple, wear turtle necks. Learn to adapt.
18. We all want to have our own set of 52 DD tits but if you wear 52DD tits you are going to attract attention and you will therefore be noticed.
19. Be self aware. Know your limitations. Unless you have practiced dancing like a girl you probably won’t do it like a girl.
And there you have it – nineteen practical tips for crossdressing that don’t require night classes or intentisive training. Don’t stop now, there is so much more to learn about crossdressing – learn how to pass as a woman.
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Thanks for this they will really help out now I just have to get in touch with my gp’s for a referral to another clinic
Thank you, very good tips and helps with building confidence…I so want to step out and just be me……
I have been saying this exact thing to my husband! This is good advice
All excellent points Vanessa. Seems so obvious to me now but wish I knew this when younger
Yes Debbie. Me too.
I went an bought some wedge high heels there size smaller than what wear however find something odd bout wearing em while one fit’s good on my foot without problems the other tends to bother round front side my foot I’ve got both buckled the same tention why is that because I know if go buy the size suppose wear it’s gonna be too loose on my foot) zena
Hi Zena. Most people have one foot slightly larger than the other and what you describe is not uncommon. You could stretch the one that causes you problems by fillling a plastic bag with water (so that it can’t leak out), packing the shoe with it where it is causing discomfort and then putting the shoe & water into the freezer overnight. The freezing of the bagged water in the shoe will slightly stretch the shoe and it should be more comfortable to wear.
Do good girl & enjoy.
Anne-Marie
Yes wearing proper make up is helping key also wearing right style of clothes that goes with your body image as to not having it too loose or too tight fitting same with shoe’s be careful the way choose eat always wear right outfit to occasion so don’t overdo it or underdress if necessary bring extra clothes or another outfit to change into and ladies be sure bring right nessetaies like cosmetics brushes combes hairbands nailpolish band-aids mascara n so on=zena
My recommendation for your first outing is Halloween. It’s a free pass. You can wear what ever you like, you can have a lot or a little make up. You can judge your passibility and peoples reactions. You can flaunt it in your friends and family’s faces. If anyone brings it up in the future you have Halloween as your safety net. Once you have walked the walk you can search out CD friendly venues like drag nights. From there you can move on knowing your not alone. But hey, if you want to throw on a frock and stroll… Read more »
As a full-fledged biological female from birth I can attest this literary work is a piece of misinformed and subjective BS… In my opinion it promotes the same idealogical thinking and stereotypical garbage that women have been subjected to for years as is in many beauty and fashion magazines — most women don’t even care to be held to this kind of “standard". My advice — do what makes you feel comfortable and BE YOURSELF and to hell with what anyone else thinks.
I have tried lazer hair removeal,, dosent work on me.. and I can not find the old style equipment in my are.. some one who still has it.. my beard is like wire, and gray now.. any thing else I can try…
Electrolysis is another method.
Would have to add to that list, Self Belief. If you think of yourself as a female with all that entails then others will see you as that woman and treat you as that woman
Yes, yes ,yes. So correct!