Spark to Flame

The persona of Codille was born September 16, 1983 out of the mind of a confused teenager, probably not unlike quite a few of you.  The last name Benton was added much later.  The term crossdresser certainly was not a mainstream term, and at that point, I am sure that I had never heard of it.  I really had no resources for which to look or anyone to whom to turn.  So while dressing, confusion reigned in a hormonal teen.

Then this strange system called the World Wide Web blossomed in the early 90’s.  AOL and dial-up let the world start talking to each other.  Well, as most of us know, support sites for crossdressers were nonexistent and what was out there were sex-chat sites.  The information highway was not yielding information and the cycle continued.  The term crossdresser came to light as an identifier and the information that the phenomenon called crossdressing was not just being done by ourselves, but by others as well.  Sex sites, though, were still the only thing crossdressing related on the Web.

Fast forward twenty years to 2007,  little progress with regard to genuine support had been made.  A site, a web journal really, was started by an amazing person who needed to chronicle the process of transitioning as both a personal outlet and an avenue to help and communicate with others.  That person is the woman who we know today as Vanessa Law, founder of the site, CrossdresserHeaven.com.  For four years Vanessa logged her personal experiences and information all while trying to find the end of the yellow brick road which she did in 2011.  She did one of the bravest things in baring of her soul with her writing (which is still available on the site).  I am blessed to have gotten to know her better over the last two years.

From 2011 to 2015, Crossdresserheaven.com was idle.  For some reason that I still have not figured out, Vanessa felt the need to relaunch the site in February of 2015 , not as a blog, but as a support site.  Well, having used every search engine and keyword known to man or woman,  I  stumble across this fledgling support site a few months later.   I mean it was a REAL support site and like nothing that I had ever seen before on the web.  Why?  Because there was and is nothing like it.  All of you here reading this know this through your own experiences.

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The site was so new in those days.  I often introduce myself as member 62.  Claudia C was member 55.  We probably joined within two days of each other; she beat me by THAT much.  At the time, the forums were our main resource and way of talking to each other (and still are the best place for resources), the majority of the articles were still written by Vanessa, and the groups were starting to form slowly.  But for the first time in my life, I was not alone and was talking to people about real things – general life, coming out to friends and family, clothing, make-up issues, heck I still have wig problems.  This wasn’t a sex site, but a true support site.

In June of 2015, Vanessa got the silly idea that she needed help moderating the site, maybe all of 500 members at that time, and ask Claudia and myself to become the first Ambassadors.  I think there are times she is very glad that she asked the two of us, and other times that she is like “What have I done?”, but you will have to ask her.  And the site started to grow; a lot was just by word of mouth.  In December of 2015, the big mistake was made – Vanessa graciously asked me to head the now-growing team of probably six or seven Ambassadors and help her find more.  We were now global.  We have Ambassadors hailing from England, Australia and 3 of the 4 time zones in the United States (we now have Canada as well).  Crossdresser Heaven was becoming truly that, a peaceful place for crossdressers to come and get support and friendship without ridicule from the outside world.

Fast forward again.  On June 1, 2016, I retire from my past life and come onboard officially as Managing Ambassador.  I now possess all the power to blow the site up because I have no idea what the heck the technology that Vanessa just turned over to me is. We are at a dozen Ambassador and 5848 members.  We have added Local Places to Go, a Significant Others Group, and of course by now, Chat is up, alive and thriving.

With more ideas on the drawing board, I am thinking can this really be for real?  I mean, after personally searching for thirty years, could a community like this finally be real and am I a part of it?  Yes, it is, and here we are!  All of us were looking for a friend, someone that understood what at least a little we were thinking, and a place where we are free just to talk and grow from each other.

That brings us to today.  When, in December of 2015, I took over the Ambassadors, Crossdresserheaven.com was the #47 hit when you Googled searched Crossdresser Support — we are now #1.  In 8 months, we have gone from twelve Ambassadors to twenty-six now on our roster.  And now my personal reason for writing this article, in 1983, I was alone in the dark and confused.  Today I am proud to say that I was the 62nd registered member of Crossdresser Heaven, a family that hit a major milestone with NOW over 10,000 registered Members.  THANK YOU for finding our little, well maybe not so little anymore, corner of the web and being a part of this growing and thriving community.

 

Yours Truly,

Codille Benton

Managing Ambassador, Crossdresserheaven.com

EnFemme

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Robin Twain' class='avatar avatar-64 photo' height='64' width='64' />
Robin Twain
7 years ago

I Thank God I found this site Codille. I never feel alone, and the insight and joy I recieve on a daily basis is criminal! There are so many ladies out there who need help expressing themselves. Hopefully they’ll get out of the sex sites and come here and learn to love and nurture their femme side while getting a laugh or two along the way!

Jesse Nicole(Smokey)
Duchess
Member
7 years ago

Thank you all for your support and friendship. As Cyn said it is an honor to serve as an Ambassador for CDH, and I know the future holds great promise for this wonderful place!

skippy1965 Cynthia
Ambassador
Trusted Member
7 years ago

As I replied to Vanessa in her article, the same words apply here. “We love you " and “Thank you" for sharing of your life story and your time. I feel blessed to know you and consider you a friend (in MY view my BEST friend-or as we call it FF ! ) I even have the honor to have met you in person, an honor I am humbled by and thankful for. From the first day you made me feel welcome and for some reason you put up with me despite my many eccentricities and foibles. I am also… Read more »

Vanessa Law
Founder
Active Member
7 years ago

Thank you Codille for your passion, vision and care. You have nurtured our community with love and showered your attention upon those seeking help, encouragement and a place to belong.

I’m looking forward to where we can go from here. This is just the beginning…

Patty Michelle
Patty Michelle
7 years ago

Codille,

I find it amazing how the site has grown. But it also grown for those who join, looking for help with their journey, enriched by the love and support provided. I know I have learned so much about myself from the friends I have met here and touched my life.

Here’s to CDH and may it continue to grow and enrich all it touches,

Patty

Leonara
Ambassador
Trusted Member
7 years ago

Thank you Codille for a great article. I love history so thanks for the info. I do appreciate that with over 10,000 lovely ladies, you found the time to personally resolve one of my concerns. You are very special . I am also grateful to all the ladies who have given me support on the website … Thank you also Vanessa for your great vision for the CD Community

Pinkie
Pinkie
7 years ago

Thank you Codille. When I first joined CDH I knew nothing about it or even what the site was for. It was the asking of a home care nurse that sent me looking for a support site for crossdressers . It still took me 2 days to finally look on the web and yes this was the second place I click on to check out since then it been one heck of a journey. I have gone from a lonely crossdresser to a transgender in transition with more friends ( who I consider family now more then anything ) Then… Read more »

Jackie Wild
Jackie Wild
7 years ago

Codille you have been a true inspiration and somewhat mentor for me. I truly admire you, Vanessa and so very many others representing this community/site. It takes allot of devotion and time to achieve what CDH has achieved in so little of time and it’s people like you and all the others handling they’re individual duties to make a place like CDH blossom and grow. I for one am truly grateful to have found my way here and to have began being a part of it’s population. I have gained so much strength from it and you it’s sometimes seems… Read more »

Gina
Gina
7 years ago

Great and SWEET Story !

zena simmons
zena simmons
7 years ago

That’s because most church’s are set up for people who believe in doing things a certain way and they stick to that way of life in doing things that has been established down the line also trying to stay within grounds of rules that’s been set long ago although there are some starting change their ways of thinking n doing things from old ways but becareful not fall into wrong type of church it’s becoming=zena

Claire Mueller' class='avatar avatar-64 photo' height='64' width='64' />
Claire Mueller
7 years ago

Thanks for being a great resource. Along with the help its just reassuring to know others have the same struggles and can find joy.

By the way .. the United States has 6 time zones so you have more horizens to reach … Come out and visit some time.

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